


Distract Me

by QueenRamsia



Series: Dream of Me (Taekook Fallen Angel AU) [1]
Category: taekook - Fandom, vkook - Fandom, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Allusions to Past Sexual Abuse, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Porn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Blood and Gore, Bottom Jeon Jungkook, Bottom Kim Taehyung | V, But not much just enough to have a very vague understanding, Comfort/Angst, Eventual Smut, Fallen Angel Kim Taehyung | V, Fallen angel!v, Fluff and Angst, Graphic Description, I serve all tastes, M/M, Past Abuse, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Slow Build, Slow Romance, Smut, Top Jeon Jungkook, Top Kim Taehyung | V, dream - Freeform, fallen angel AU, fallenangel!au, fallenangel!v, mild past trauma, you’re welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-03-27 04:56:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 32
Words: 57,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13873614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenRamsia/pseuds/QueenRamsia
Summary: Jeongguk has never dreamt. At least, not until he started dreaming about a certain boy he’d never seen before. A boy with two long scars down his shoulder blades who begged for Jeongguk to distract him from the pain. A boy who just happened to be Kim Taehyung in real life, who was the newest member of BTS, and not a fallen angel at all. Well, that last bit is yet to be decided, but Jeongguk is more worried about his growing feelings for the new member than the archangels that dream-Taehyung says are coming for them both.Or: the angsty, fluffy, smutty, maybe too-long fallen angel au that nobody asked for.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The order in which each member joined is different to fit the story, as is the roommate arrangements.

Jeongguk did not dream. Whether it was because he didn’t get enough sleep or because his brain simply couldn’t conjure up imaginings worth remembering, he never dreamt. 

Until he stumbled upon the boy with the scars in his back. It hadn’t been a long visit - only long enough for Jeongguk to open his eyes in a blindingly white landscape, nothingness as far as he could see. If he squinted, he could see a form kneeling far away, back facing Jeongguk. Something in his soul pulled Jeongguk forward and he stumbled along, allowing the current to yank him onward. There wasn’t a sound beyond the echoing of his footsteps, loud and immense. Entranced, Jeongguk stepped ever closer to the figure. 

He could make out blond hair now, and a striped robe that fell off the boy’s shoulders.

The boy. It was most certainly a boy.

Now Jeongguk narrowed his eyes, and the boy’s smooth back came into better focus. There were two long wounds in his shoulder blades - vertical lines that gnarled the otherwise perfect skin. They were red - fresh - and gleamed in the white light that bathed the entire dreamscape. For that’s what it was - Jeongguk wasn’t sure how he knew, but he did. However, he couldn’t shake the feeling that this place was somehow real - that the boy sitting with his back to him was experiencing real pain, and that there was real blood coursing through his veins. That this boy existed, and not just in Jeongguk’s dream. The boy’s head was bowed forward. Jeongguk marveled at how still he was - like a statue. Not even breathing, or, at least, he didn’t look like he was breathing. A few steps more and Jeongguk was almost close enough to touch him. Almost. Something held him back from the ethereal boy - something deeper than his own mind, something instinctual. Nevertheless, he wondered what it’d be like to touch that honeyed skin. Would it be as warm as it looked? Or would it be frozen, as this hellish dreamscape was? The wounds were uglier up close - angry purple, black, and blue veins spidered out from the crevices in the perfect skin. Dried blood clung to the edges of the gashes even as fresh blood bubbled from the innermost parts of the lines, seeping lazily outward. And yet, they didn’t tarnish the boy’s looks. He held a strange type of beauty - incomparable to any person Jeongguk knew of, yet so, so perfect. Jeongguk steeled himself and, against his better judgement, took another step and reached forward with a trembling hand. 

Suddenly, the boy tilted his head so that he was gazing skyward. Jeongguk froze, arm still outstretched, not even daring to breathe. A strange fear shot through his body. The boy slowly turned his head, his shoulders remaining inhumanly still, and met Jeongguk’s stare with two dark, swirling eyes. His gentle pink lips curved upwards in a pained smile.

Jeongguk felt his body backing away, though his mind was screaming at him to continue reaching forward, to touch the boy. It was okay; he wanted to touch him, he wanted to feel that enticing skin under his fingertips. But his body continued backing away until Jeongguk realized it wasn’t him who was moving, but the landscape of the dream itself, pulling him farther and farther away. The boy hadn’t moved; his head was still twisted around as he unblinkingly watched Jeongguk get yanked farther and farther away, that same grimacing smile stretched across his face. Jeongguk reached out fruitlessly in a last-ditch effort to get back to the boy. He opened his mouth and released an ungodly shriek, long and silent.


	2. Chapter 2

Yoongi woke Jeongguk with a shove, already out of patience even though the day had only just begun. The younger boy groaned, slowly sitting up. “Hey, hyung.”

“It’s late,” Yoongi said dryly. “Get up.”

Jeongguk obeyed, kicking off his blanket with a grumble. The boy from his dream was still at the front of his mind. Who was he? Jeongguk thought dreams were only supposed to contain people you’d seen before, but he couldn’t remember ever seeing the mysterious boy in the real world. 

“Kookie?” Yoongi said, snapping him out of his daze.

Jeongguk looked up. Yoongi’s brows had furrowed and Jeongguk waved away his concern, “I’ll be out in a minute, hyung, just let me get around.”

Yoongi nodded, “Seokjin has food ready.”

Jeongguk nodded thankfully and waited until Yoongi left the room to swing out of bed. The dream boy’s eyes, somehow both sullen and mischievous simultaneously, wouldn’t leave Jeongguk’s head. Weren’t dreams supposed to fade over time? Wasn’t that what he’d heard? 

Then why was this one still stubbornly gripping his brain, not letting him think of anything else as he pulled a t-shirt and sweatpants on? If he closed his eyes, Jeongguk could almost imagine resting his fingertips against the boy’s shoulder blade, right next to one of his wounds. 

And what were those? Those crevices that tore through his skin, tarnishing the gentle sloping planes of his back? Jeongguk tried to imagine what could have done that. A knife? But who would stay still enough for a knife to drag not one but two equal gashes in their back? A whip? But what whip could make such perfectly symmetrical, perfectly parallel, lines? It didn’t make sense. And the way the boy’s skin pulled away from the wounds made it look almost like something had been pulled out of them. As if he’d had something stuck in his body that had been torn out with indescribable force. 

Jeongguk shuddered at the thought and willed away the boy’s face, trying to focus on anything else as he made his way into the kitchen. Hoseok looked up from his phone and offered a grin. “Hey, Kookie! Come check this out.” 

Jeongguk smiled and slid into the seat next to Hoseok, “Hey, hyung.”

Seokjin tossed him a bottle of banana milk and Jeongguk grabbed it out of the air, a grin plastered to his face. “Oh my god, you’re the best, hyungnim!”

The eldest offered Jeongguk a smile, “I know what our Kookie likes.”

When Jeongguk had first moved into the dorm with the five other boys, he had been extremely shy. So much so that he had purchased a mini fridge for his room just so he didn’t have to face the strangers - well, Namjoon wasn’t a stranger, he was the one who had convinced him to join them - that lurked in the kitchen. But then one day Seokjin had dared to go inside, saw the fridge, and got curious. And then proceeded to release the windshield wiper laugh of the century. It had echoed throughout the entire dorm and Jeongguk, who had been sitting in the living room trying to warm up to Jimin, had shot to his feet, fear gripping his heart. What had happened? Why was Seokjin-ssi laughing, and why did it sound like it was coming from his room? Jimin had gone with him to investigate and Jeongguk had fought the urge to grab his hand for support. But he had been too scared of offending his elder, and then Jeongguk had rounded the corner into his room to find Seokjin with his refrigerator door swung open, revealing nothing but two apples, an orange, and nine bottles of banana milk. Ever since then, his elders became his hyungs through some process involving the drink. At first it had been a joke (“You know that the fridge out there is yours too, right? Just put your name on stuff you don’t want anyone else to have it.”), but it quickly became a constant theme. 

Jeongguk smiled at the memory. Now, banana milk wasn’t as important. They were all struggling through the music-making life, and the hyungs usually didn’t have as much time to indulge their maknae.

“What’s the occasion, hyungnim?” Jeongguk asked, cracking the seal off the bottle’s cap. 

Hoseok ruffled Jeongguk’s hair with a grin. “Our baby brother must think we forgot about him.” 

Namjoon entered the kitchen, his face in his phone as he typed furiously against its screen. He offered the three others a halfhearted wave before turning his attention back to his screen. Seokjin’s eyes followed him before he said, “That makes me sad, Kookie. Why can’t your hyung just get you a treat?” 

Jeongguk blushed and went around the table to throw an arm over his hyung’s wide shoulders. “Of course you can, hyung, I’m sorry. Thank you.”

“Mine now!” Jeongguk’s eyes widened as Jimin swooped into the kitchen and grabbed up the bottle, a shit-eating grin plastered to his face. 

“Jimminnie, I will actually kill you,” Jeongguk threatened, his nose crinkled.

Jimin pressed a hand to his chest in feign disgust. “Jeonggukie, I’m your hyung!”

Not when banana milk was involved. Jeongguk hadn’t had the stuff in over a week, and that was honestly too long. He moved around the table and Jimin’s eyes widened. The older boy made it into the living room before Jeongguk tackled him to the floor, grinning madly. “Mine, hyung,” he said, snatching back the bottle. 

“Guys,” Yoongi muttered from the couch, frowning at them. “I don’t feel like dealing with a bunch of angry neighbors again who were trying to peacefully live their lives before you two started crashing around.” 

The two maknaes stood, avoiding their hyung’s bemused stare. Jimin mumbled an apology before going to curl up in Yoongi’s lap, silently begging for forgiveness. Yoongi allowed it, folding his arms over the boy’s shoulders before going back to his phone. Jeongguk watched Jimin sigh contentedly. Though he was the newest member of their crew, Jimin had quickly become a favorite of the hyungs. They all loved his infectious grin and bubbly laughter, and they let him do things that they wouldn’t normally let others do. Case in point, Jimin was now laying fully across Yoongi’s lap, arms thrown around the elder’s neck in a position that forced Yoongi to awkwardly lift his phone and tilt his chin in order to see the screen. Jeongguk bit his lip to fight the laughter that rose in his throat as Yoongi huffed irritably but didn’t fight the clingy boy. Jimin winked at Jeongguk and the maknae shook his head as he made his way back into the kitchen. 

“Thanks again, hyungnim,” Jeongguk said, gesturing to the bottle before throwing it back for a satisfying swig. 

“No problem, Kookie,” Seokjin smiled. He had moved to sit at the table across from Hoseok, so Jeongguk slid back into his seat from earlier. 

Hoseok turned to show Jeongguk his phone. “Look, Jeonggukie,” he said, “PDnim sent us this bio this morning. He thinks this guy would be a good fit for our final member.”

Jeongguk leaned over to see the screen. The boys had technically been an idol group since 2013, but they had been missing something ever since the start. Nothing terrible, just something noticeable. Even their fans saw it, though overall they were pretty nice about it. It was just a sound element that wasn’t there - like there was a voice out there built to match what they needed to be perfect, they just hadn’t found it yet. 

The picture was small but unmistakable. Jeongguk’s eyes widened and he fought the gasp that grappled at his throat. Instead, he squeaked, “Have we met him before?” 

Hoseok pursed his lips in thought, “No, I don’t think so. At least, I haven’t. We’re all supposed to meet him at practice tomorrow.” 

“Huh,” Jeongguk said, swallowing. “He just looks a little familiar, that’s all.”

So familiar, in fact, that Jeongguk could have sworn that he had seen him last night. The only problem was, Jeongguk had been fast asleep at the time.

Hoseok pulled back his phone, reading the screen, “His name is Kim Taehyung and he’s only two years older than you, Kookie. Same age as Jimin.” 

“Huh,” Jeongguk said again, only half listening. But when Hoseok gave him a long stare, Jeongguk snapped back to attention long enough to say, “That’s really cool, hyung. Thanks for showing me.”

Satisfied, Hoseok stuffed his phone in his pocket and went off down the hall. Jeongguk fiddled with the cap of his banana milk, staring at the tabletop.

Kim Taehyung. His name was Kim Taehyung.


	3. Chapter 3

Dreams were supposed to have content in them. Right? But Jeongguk opened his eyes to find nothing but inky blackness as far as he could see. He shuddered, feeling the claws of the darkness reaching out to grab him. Fear gripped him - he wasn’t afraid of the dark, but something about this was wrong. Very wrong. There was a humming in his ears that made his heart hammer. What was going on? Was this a nightmare? 

He spun around, wildly searching for an exit, for a light, for anything, and then froze. A sickly glow radiated from the depths of the blackness, far, far away from Jeongguk. It was a beacon of hope, and Jeongguk sprinted forward, desperate to reach it. Was it just him, or was the floor dipping and swaying with each step he took? He pushed himself to run faster, though his lungs began to ache. The light stayed irritatingly dim, as if he wasn’t making any progress reaching it. He stumbled - over what, he couldn’t tell you - and found himself on his hands and knees. Gravel - at least, it felt like gravel - but into his palms and he gritted his teeth, forcing himself to stand. His ankle whined under his weight, but still he set off again, limping as he jogged. 

Suddenly, the pulsing glow exploded toward him in a flash of white light. Jeongguk threw an arm up over his eyes, stopping. When the light died down enough to remove his arm, Jeongguk squinted into the new brightness and shivered. 

There he was. Kim Taehyung, or whatever dream-being his brain had created to look like Kim Taehyung. Jeongguk stumbled towards him, the darkness clinging to his back still fueling his fear. Taehyung sat cross-legged, his robe open and falling from his bare shoulders to reveal the skin of his chest. Jeongguk blushed at the sight as he stepped closer. Taehyung watched him with an unreadable expression, his shoulders scrunched forward as if in a permanent grimace. Jeongguk found he couldn’t look into his hooded eyes for more than a moment and opted instead to gaze at his ash blonde hair. 

And then he stopped walking. Something in him wouldn’t let him get closer to the boy, try as he might. He opened his mouth, but he couldn’t seem to form words. The boy - Taehyung - cocked his head at him, his stare swooping over Jeongguk’s body. A stab of self-consciousness shot through Jeongguk as he realized he was only wearing briefs and a t-shirt - what he had gone to sleep in. The maknae squirmed under Taehyung’s stare, and those dark eyes flicked up to his face. Jeongguk froze, unable to look away from his piercing gaze. Taehyung slowly lifted himself to his feet, eyes never leaving Jeongguk’s, and proceeded to step closer. Jeongguk’s eyes of their own volition traveled down Taehyung’s front, and the maknae blushed when a chuckle - low and tantalizing - rumbled from Taehyung’s throat. 

A small, condescending smile pulled the boy’s lips upward, but he didn’t speak as he began to circle around Jeongguk, appraising him from all angles. Jeongguk’s head and eyes followed him as he walked, but the rest of his body remained stubbornly frozen. All the fear that had drove him to stand in front of the boy was gone, replaced by a sensation that Jeongguk couldn’t name. Part of him wanted to run away, and it must have been that part that made him shudder when Taehyung’s fingers suddenly brushed across his shoulder blades. His heart rate spiked as Taehyung dropped his hand and proceeded to step close enough for his breath to tickle Jeongguk’s earlobe. Taehyung whispered in a voice that made the maknae’s knees tremble, “You are quite stubborn, aren’t you?” 

Jeongguk didn’t know what that meant, and he couldn’t have responded if he tried. Taehyung sighed and strolled away from Jeongguk, and the maknae found that the wounds in his back were still coated in dried blood. Jeongguk’s arm lifted - was he lifting it himself or had it grown a mind of its own? - and his fingers almost touched one of the long gashes. But Taehyung, as if he had read Jeongguk’s mind, whipped around and shrugged his robe on over his shoulders. He frowned and Jeongguk dropped his eyes. “Off limits,” he said fiercely. 

Jeongguk managed a meek nod and Taehyung sat back down, gazing up at him. Jeongguk met his dark eyes. There was something sinister in them, yet they seemed overwhelming gentle. Somehow, it wasn’t awkward to just stare back at the boy, and Taehyung didn’t seem to have any plans to stop looking at Jeongguk.

They stayed like that - Taehyung sitting cross-legged, Jeongguk towering over him - until Jeongguk’s alarm clock went off, startling him awake. 

The pain in Taehyung’s eyes stuck in Jeongguk’s brain as he forced himself up and switched off the obnoxious beeping of the clock. The blinking **5:00 AM** reminded him that it was back to idol life today. Still, a small part of him wondered what would have happened if he would have stayed asleep. It was a ridiculous thought - it was only a dream, after all, why did it matter? Still, two dreams in a row of the same person? Jeongguk must have seen Kim Taehyung’s picture before and just couldn’t remember. That’s the only explanation for his dream the previous night. 

Kim Taehyung. Jeongguk kicked himself out of bed. He was always nervous meeting new people - his hyungs helped with that, serving as living safety blankets - but today that nervousness was mixed with a giddy sensation that blossomed in his chest. Today, he would meet Kim Taehyung. And he could decide once and for all if that was really, truly who was visiting his dreams. 

Jeongguk shook his head at the thought. He couldn’t be weird, else Taehyung wouldn’t like him. BTS really needed that last member, and they wouldn’t get him if Jeongguk was a spaz around the best candidate.

Someone had already claimed the shower - the only shower, of course - so Jeongguk went out to the kitchen to grab an apple. Namjoon was already dressed and was reading something on his phone at the kitchen table. He looked up when Jeongguk entered and smiled, “Hey, Kookie, how’d you sleep?” 

Jeongguk sat down across from the leader, “Well, hyung. How about you?”

Namjoon nodded, stabbing at his cereal. “Hoseok told you about the possible new member, right?” When Jeongguk nodded, Namjoon took a bite of cereal and said, “Good. I talked to him a bit. That’s why I wasn’t around much yesterday. I think he’ll be a really good fit. His voice is something else.”

Jeongguk glanced at his hyung. “A good ‘something else?’”

Namjoon shot him a look. “Why else would we be recruiting him?”

Jeongguk shrugged and took a bite from his apple. Namjoon finished off his cereal and stood to take his empty bowl to the sink. “You better eat more than that,” the leader said. “It’s going to be a long day and I don’t want you to get hungry.”

With that, Namjoon ruffled Jeongguk’s hair and set off down the hall. As if on cue, Seokjin and Hoseok came in, their hair still damp from showering. Seokjin smiled apologetically at Jeongguk, “You get to go wake up Yoongi to shower.”

Jeongguk groaned, “He threw a pillow at me last time.”

Hoseok snorted, grabbing a bowl from the cupboard, “That’s nothing. He threw a book at me once. A _book_ , Kookie.” 

Biting back laughter, Jeongguk threw away his apple core and set off down the hall. Seokjin grumbled something about the dirty bowl Namjoon had left in the sink and Jeongguk snickered as he slipped into Yoongi’s room. 

“Hyung?” Jeongguk murmured. “Time to get up.”

“I have a fucking alarm set, Jeongguk,” came the dark reply. “You don’t need to wake me up.”

Jeongguk squirmed, “Yeah, but everyone else has already showered, and we have to leave in -“ he checked the clock “- thirty minutes.”

Yoongi swore again and rolled out of bed. “Coming.”

Jeongguk went to his room and grabbed a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. Yoongi wasn’t in the bathroom yet, so Jeongguk stepped into the shower. He heard his hyung quietly enter a moment later and start to brush his teeth. Jeongguk’s eyes slipped shut, the water soothing the anxiety coiled in his muscles. A moment later, Yoongi ducked in behind him. Jeongguk silently handed him the shampoo and then grabbed his shoulder for stability as he finished washing up. “I’m out,” he said when finished.

Yoongi hummed in response and Jeongguk stepped out, rubbing a towel over his head. By the time he was dressed, Yoongi turned off the water and grabbed a towel. Jeongguk finished brushing his teeth and rummaged around for the hairdryer. Seokjin and Hoseok might be alright with their hair air-drying, but not Jeongguk. 

With five minutes to spare, Jeongguk stepped out of the bathroom. Yoongi followed a minute later and they met the others at the door. Jeongguk pulled on his Timberlands, and when he straightened, he found Namjoon watching him. Jeongguk blushed, “What?”

Namjoon shrugged, “Just...don't shut down, okay? It’s been a few years since we’ve had a new member, and I know that it’s always scary to meet new people. But we’ll all be there with you, so you don’t have to be afraid.”

Jeongguk squirmed as all his hyungs looked at him. Did they really think he had that much of a problem? “Hyungs, I’m excited to meet Taehyung. Yeah, I’m still not great with new people, but you guys have all helped me open up a lot. I don’t think you need to worry about anything like how I used to be.”

Namjoon nodded and Seokjin ruffled Jeongguk’s hair. Hoseok grinned at the maknae and cooed, “Our little Kookie is getting so big.” 

Jeongguk’s face flushed, “Hobi-hyung, seriously?”

Suddenly, Jimin threw his arms around Jeongguk’s neck. The maknae stumbled under his weight, but couldn’t fight the breathless laugh that bubbled out of his chest. Jimin cried, “We’re just so proud of our Kookie!”

“Hyung!” Jeongguk groaned, “You’re crushing me!”

With that, Namjoon ushered the five of them out the door. Jeongguk shoved Jimin off of him and escaped to the apartment building’s hall, laughing as Jimin stumbled out after him. Seokjin let the second-youngest jump on his back, giving him a piggyback ride to the elevator. 

Once they were all in the van and heading to the studio, Jeongguk started to squirm with nervous energy. 

Kim Taehyung. It was almost time to meet Kim Taehyung.


	4. Chapter 4

Taehyung was singing along to a song in his earbuds when the six boys entered the dance studio, his eyes fixed to his phone screen as he read along to lyrics. But when the door shut behind them, he straightened and turned, a sheepish grin spreading across his face. He pulled out his earbuds and stuffed them and his phone in his pocket. “Hi, everyone.”

Namjoon stepped forward with PDnim, introducing each member one by one. Jeongguk tried not to stare too hard at the new member. If the boy in his dreams was ethereally beautiful, then the real Taehyung was even more so. In Jeongguk’s dreams, there was a film about the boy’s features that prevented him from focusing on anything specific. But here, Taehyung was in HD, and every angle of him was perfect. Even his little moles - Jeongguk immediately noticed one on the tip of his nose and one on his cheek - only served to make him more endearingly handsome. When Jeongguk dared to look into his eyes, the swirling pools he had seen in his dreams had transformed into brown and black galaxies, and Jeongguk could swear that he saw fractals of gold sprinkled throughout their depths. This Taehyung seemed happier than the one in his dreams, too. His smile was wide, and there wasn’t a hint of pain in any of his motions. 

Jeongguk blinked a couple times. He really didn’t need to be having these thoughts about anyone, much less about a _boy_. He liked girls. He had always liked girls… 

Then again, he had never put much thought into the topic. He never had to, really - the idol life didn’t really allow for relationships. It was too busy. 

But still, you’d think that he would have found at least one girl at school who was attractive to him. But he hadn’t. What could that mean?

_Okay, Jeongguk, this is not the time to think about this._

Everyone was staring at him. Jeongguk blushed, quickly dropping into a bow that was far too low for the circumstances, “Ah, sorry. Hi, Taehyung-ssi. It’s good to meet you.”

The hyungs were giggling at Jeongguk’s reaction, but Taehyung only smiled, “It’s good to meet you too, Jeongguk.”

The maknae almost shivered at Taehyung’s voice. It was gentle and smooth, like honey coated his vocal cords, and was the prettiest sound he had ever heard. 

Namjoon clapped his hands, assuming his role as the leader now that introductions were over. “Alright, we're working on some new choreography. Taehyungie, why don’t you just watch and see what you can pick up? We’re still just getting to know it.”

Taehyung nodded, “Alright, Namjoon-ssi.”

PDnim checked his watch, “I’m sorry, I have to head out. Normally I’d stay for your first day, but I’ll let Namjoon take over my role if that’s alright.”

“That’s fine, hyungnim,” Namjoon said. 

PDnim smiled softly, “Thank you. Taehyung, I’ll be in touch in a few days to see if this is a fit so you can fill out your contract. Sound good?”

Taehyung stretched his arms up before resting his hands on the top of his head, “Sounds great. Thank you again for this opportunity.” He bowed and PDnim smiled at him before checking his watch again, nodded goodbye to the rest of the boys, and retreated out the door. 

Hoseok stepped in front of them all, “Alright, we’re not really learning anything today, so let’s just start.” 

Taehyung moved to sit against the wall of mirrors, and Jeongguk couldn’t help but stare as he walked. There was something inexplicably fluid about his gait.

“Jeongguk,” Jimin said, snapping the maknae out of his trance. “You’re over here, remember?”

Jeongguk blushed, “Uh, yeah, sorry.”

Jimin smiled, “It’s okay, we only just learned this last week.”

The maknae shook his head. _Focus._

A staff member started the music and Jeongguk forced himself to go through the steps of the choreography. He couldn’t ignore the way Taehyung watched them, though, and he suddenly became self-conscious. His eyes suddenly locked with Taehyung’s - the elder’s gaze slid over him to watch Hoseok, though - and his feet slowed. He managed to back into Yoongi, who cursed when the maknae stomped on his foot, before snapping his focus back to the dance. Jeongguk mumbled an apology and avoided meeting Taehyung’s eyes for the rest of the dance. It seemed like Taehyung wasn’t at all concerned about him, though, so that was an easy feat. 

When the music stopped, Hoseok stepped forward and rested his hands on his hips. His breath came in labored bursts as he said to Taehyung, “Well? What do you think?”

“I think I need a teacher,” Taehyung said sheepishly. 

Jimin giggled, “Well obviously, silly. We’re all going to help you.”

Taehyung bobbed his head awkwardly, “Cool, thanks.” 

“You better not be shy,” Yoongi suddenly said.

Everyone turned to him. Taehyung raised his eyebrows, “I’m not, Yoongi-ssi.”

“Good,” Yoongi nodded, “because this one -“ he jerked a thumb in Jeongguk’s direction “- was obnoxiously shy, and I don’t feel like coaxing anyone else out their shell with banana milk.”

“Thanks, hyung,” Jeongguk said, his face turning red. 

Taehyung’s eyes met Jeongguk’s and the maknae’s breath stuck in his throat. “I can’t imagine that,” Taehyung said. “Though I wouldn’t be opposed to some banana milk anyway.”

Yoongi’s eyebrows shot skyward. None of them expected the newcomer to be joking with them so quickly. 

Namjoon reacted first, “Well then, Jeongguk better start labelling his.”

Jeongguk cracked a grin, turning to his hyung, “I’ll just put them in the mini fridge in my room.”

Seokjin slapped his shoulder, laughing, “You still have that thing?” 

“I wasn’t going to just throw it away!” Jeongguk reasoned. 

Jimin threw an arm around Jeongguk with a burst of laughter, “That’s our Kookie.”

Taehyung stood, a wide, boxy smile stretched across his face. “A mini fridge with banana milk? You’re a man after my own heart, Jeongguk.” 

After dance practice - Taehyung was a fast learner and Jeongguk was completely mesmerized by his hips the entire time - Namjoon had Taehyung sing with them. His voice was deep and earthy, but the members found that he could also growl - Jeongguk was convinced that the way his nose wrinkled as he did so was a blatant sin - and could even hit some pretty high notes. Seokjin requested that he sing something with Jeongguk (“What? I want to see how it’d sound.”) and though the maknae had always been confident in his voice, he suddenly felt like he had to prove himself. But soon after they started singing, Taehyung paused and giggled, another boxy smile plastered to his face, “Wow, Jeonggukie, you’re really good.”

Jeongguk blushed, “Th-thank you, Taehyung-ssi.”

Though Taehyung had started the day as quiet and sheepish, he quickly revealed his true colors. He was giggly, even more so than Jimin at times, and had no issue with making a fool of himself if he could get someone to laugh. And he danced and ran around. A lot. Too much for someone as clumsy as him. When Jeongguk dozed off on a break, he was awoken by Taehyung tripping over a chair. Hoseok and Jimin thought that it was the funniest thing ever, and Taehyung joined in on their laughter. They were loud enough to wake Yoongi, who would sleep even if he only had a minute-long break, and he glared at them until Jimin and Hoseok threw their arms around him. 

When it was time to go back to the dorm, they all seemed sad to part. But Taehyung just grinned and hugged each member in turn - even Yoongi, who actually allowed it. Jeongguk wasn’t as nervous around Taehyung anymore, so he was able to return the embrace in earnest. He smelled faintly of cologne and something spicy, and Jeongguk fought the urge to inhale too deeply. With that, they waved goodbye and made plans to meet there again tomorrow at the same time. Jeongguk could hardly wait.


	5. Chapter 5

The dream was black again, but Jeongguk wasn’t afraid this time. A strange peace was settled over everything like a fine layer of dust, as if the darkness was hugging him instead of choking. He searched for the gentle light that would lead him to Taehyung, but there was nothing other than the darkness. But he couldn’t just stand there, so he set off aimlessly. His footsteps echoed and his breaths came out in soft white puffs, though he wasn’t cold. 

He walked for an eternity. His feet started to ache, but he still couldn’t find any light. He began to worry that he had gone the wrong way, but at this point, he might as well just keep going forward. He had to end up somewhere eventually. 

And then suddenly, he did. A long drape appeared, hanging from somewhere too far above for Jeongguk to see, covering something. As he walked closer, the white fabric lifted skyward to reveal Taehyung kneeling with his back to Jeongguk, his robe barely hanging onto his elbows. 

His shoulders were stiff, but he tilted his head when he heard Jeongguk’s footsteps. The maknae stopped a few feet away, the usual confusing instinct forcing him to plant his feet too far away to touch the boy. Taehyung slowly turned his head back away from Jeongguk, shuddering. Something had happened - his wounds were open again, and there were ribbons of blood glinting down his back. They stained his robe, making it stick to his skin, and Jeongguk longed to remove the garment.

Taehyung suddenly spoke, “Why do you keep coming back?”

Jeongguk’s heart hurt at the exhaustion in the boy’s husky voice. His throat couldn’t seem to form words, so he didn’t answer. Taehyung bent forward, arching his back. “It doesn’t matter. You should stop finding me. They’ll find out.” 

A strength that Jeongguk didn’t know he had allowed him to close the distance between them. But when he was close enough to embrace Taehyung, a new fear overtook him. What if Taehyung didn’t want Jeongguk to touch him? 

He had made it that far, so Jeongguk took a deep breath and forced himself to reach forward, gently resting his hands on Taehyung’s biceps. 

At first, Jeongguk was sure that Taehyung would pull away. The boy stiffened, and Jeongguk almost pulled back his hands, but then Taehyung slumped forward and let out a shaky laugh. “Ah, Jeonggukie. Don’t you know what you’re doing?” 

No, he didn’t, but the words wouldn’t form in his mouth. So instead, he started to rub small circles in Taehyung’s arms with his thumbs. The older boy sighed, bowing his head. Jeongguk wished he would turn and face him, if only to look into his eyes, but he didn’t. With courage Jeongguk normally didn’t possess, the maknae eased Taehyung’s robe the rest of the way off his body. Taehyung helped him, gingerly pulling his arms out of the sleeves. Jeongguk had to give the robe a gentle tug to get it unstuck from the blood on Taehyung’s back. The boy trembled, lowering himself down to press his forehead into the ground. Jeongguk gazed at the wounds curiously, but then he remembered how Taehyung had reacted the last time he tried to touch them. He wouldn’t dare try again, at least not now. Not when the boy seemed to be in so much pain. 

What could he do for him? Jeongguk had never felt so helpless in his life. 

“Distract me,” Taehyung whispered, so softly that Jeongguk almost didn’t hear him. “Please, Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk immediately obeyed, something in Taehyung’s voice driving him to act. He set his hands on Taehyung’s lower back, not entirely sure what he should do to distract the older boy. Taehyung sighed, relaxing a bit and making Jeongguk brave. He rubbed his fingertips into the tensed muscles along Taehyung’s sides, encouraged by Taehyung’s soft gasps. 

Taehyung collapsed forward when Jeongguk pulled away, “Thank you.”

Jeongguk had given up trying to speak, so he just rested a hand on Taehyung’s lower back in response. The older boy shuddered and reached back to grasp Jeongguk’s hand. “You need to leave now, Jeongguk.” 

What? Had he done something wrong? Taehyung said fiercely, “You shouldn’t be here, Jeonggukie. I’m not sure how you keep finding me, but it’s not safe.”

 _I’m not trying to find you_ , Jeongguk longed to say. 

Taehyung groaned, shaking his head, “Forget it. You obviously can’t control it.” 

Control what? 

The edges of Jeongguk’s vision were starting to blur. 

Oh no.

_Taehyung?_

The older boy sighed, long and regretful, as Jeongguk woke up. 

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

Taehyung was even more open around everyone on their second day together. His smiles came easily and without warning, and each one melted Jeongguk a little more. PDnim was there for the morning, so Jeongguk didn’t get to spend much time with the new member - well, the _potential_ new member - as PDnim has him reading policies and signing things and all the boring legal stuff that went along with joining a group. 

Namjoon and Seokjin had asked Taehyung if he was sure - it was only their second day together, after all. What if Taehyung decided he actually didn’t like them? 

Taehyung had responded that that could never happen, and was it just Jeongguk’s imagination or did Taehyung glance at him as he said that? 

Probably his imagination because Taehyung immediately went to sit with Jimin, who showed him something on his phone that made him laugh. Taehyung threw an arm around Jimin’s shoulders, pressing his forehead against the boy’s temple as he giggled. 

An odd pang of jealousy shot through Jeongguk’s chest at the sight, and he suddenly said a little too loudly and much too harshly, “Hyung.”

Everyone except Taehyung turned to look at the maknae and Jeongguk squirmed, heat rising in his face. “Sorry, I was talking to Taehyung.”

“Oh,” Taehyung said, looking up with wide eyes. “I’m sorry, Jeonggukie, I didn’t realize you were comfortable calling me that. What is it?”

Jeongguk scratched at the back of his neck. “Uh.” Why had he called Taehyung? He didn’t like how seeing him with Jimin made him feel, but that wasn’t a good enough reason to yell at him. “Uh, sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt you guys, that was kind of rude.” 

Taehyung smiled gently, taking his arm from around Jimin and standing to cross to the maknae. “No, that’s okay. You didn’t mean to. What was your question?”

Now that Taehyung was right in front of him, Jeongguk’s brain went blank. “Um,” he began, wetting his lips and trying to ignore how Taehyung’s eyes flicked down to follow the movement of his tongue, “I was just wondering if you wanted to take a selca. I know we can’t tweet about you yet, but it’d be cool to have something to show ARMY once you debut, and I never have anything worth sharing on Twitter, so it’ll give me an excuse to post something.”

Taehyung smiled, “Sure, Jeonggukie.”

“I want in!” Jimin suddenly said, launching in between the two boys. “Maknae line selca!”

Jeongguk pursed his lips, trying to hide his irritation, because there wasn’t much he could do without causing suspicion. Besides, Jimin had just as much of a right as Jeongguk to hang out with their new member. So he forced a smile and snapped the selca. When he showed it to the other maknaes, Taehyung frowned, “Jeonggukie, you look sick.” 

Jeongguk quickly turned the phone back to himself, blushing. “No I don’t, hyung!”

“Yes you do,” Taehyung said, pulling the phone back. “You look like you’re about to puke. Is that how you smile?”

“Well, I look awful too,” Jimin said, squinting at the picture. “Why don’t we take it again?”

And before Jeongguk could protest, Jimin deleted the photo and took the phone. The maknae sighed and plastered on as bright a smile as possible. He tried to ignore the boxy grin of his newest hyung, but he found it impossible, and soon his smile was genuine. Jimin snapped the selca and the three boys crowded around to check the picture. “Much better,” Taehyung nodded in approval. 

“Happy?” Jeongguk muttered, pocketing his phone. 

Jimin nodded too, “Yes, thanks, Kookie.”

“ _Kookie_?” Taehyung asked, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. 

Jimin threw an arm around Jeongguk’s shoulders. “Of course! Doesn’t it fit him?”

Jeongguk brushed off Jimin’s arm with a snort. “Sure, hyung, whatever you say.” 

Taehyung grinned and suddenly ruffled Jeongguk’s hair. “I like it,” he giggled, and Jeongguk forgot how to breathe for a moment, “Kookie.”

The maknae pushed off his elder’s hand. “Shut up, hyung.”

Taehyung’s grin softened into a closed-lipped smile. “As you wish, Kookie.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been going really slow we’re already on the sixth chapter and there hasn’t even been a kiss yet jeez but I promise it’ll pick up soon so please stick around I wouldn’t promise smut if I wasn’t planning on delivering

When practice ended, Namjoon asked how the group felt about Taehyung visiting the dorm that evening. Everyone thought it was a great idea, including Taehyung, but Jeongguk was filled with stupid trepidation. What if Taehyung saw their dorm and decided it wasn’t worth it? He’d have to either room with Jeongguk or Yoongi since they were the only two who had their own bedrooms. What if he didn’t want to move in with either of them?

But Jeongguk’s fears had been for naught. Each member helped with the dorm tour, and Taehyung seemed genuinely invested in it. More than once, he gushed about how cool it was going to be to live with his hyungs and dongsaeng. Seokjin made a quick dinner - how he had enough energy left after practicing for ten hours, Jeongguk had no idea - and it only sold the dorm life more (“Whoa, Seokjin-hyung! It’s all so delicious, thank you!”). 

When the tour ended at Jeongguk’s room, a stab of nerves went through his chest. The rest of the members had given up on the tour after the second room - the one Jimin shared with Namjoon - out of exhaustion, but Jeongguk forced himself to point out Yoongi’s room (not daring to go inside, of course) and then stop in front of his own closed door. He turned to Taehyung sheepishly, “You’re probably tired, we don’t have to go in.”

“Are you embarrassed, Jeonggukie?” Taehyung asked earnestly.

Fire lit up in the maknae’s face. “No! No, I’m not. I’m just trying to be courteous. We worked hard today.”

“My morning was spent filling out paperwork,” Taehyung pointed out. “I had, like, half the work you guys did.”

“Okay,” Jeongguk said slowly. “Well then, I guess let’s go in.”

Taehyung ended up being the one in charge of pushing open the door. Jeongguk led the march inside, though, his head bowed as he flipped on the switch. They both blinked in the sudden light. “It’s not much,” Jeongguk said, biting the inside of his lip. “But you’ll probably be staying in here. Yoongi likes having his own room.”

“And you don’t?” Taehyung asked, stepping over the t-shirt that Jeongguk had unceremoniously discarded on the floor when he found out that he had woken up late that morning. He quickly swooped to pick it up, cursing himself for blushing so much.

“Well,” Jeongguk started, taking the time it took to walk the shirt to his hamper to mull over an appropriate answer, “I guess I do. But -”

“But you’d rather sleep with me?” Taehyung asked.

Jeongguk’s poker face evidently sucked. His eyes widened to the size of dinner plates and Taehyung burst out laughing, “I’m teasing, Kookie. Between you and me, I would rather be in your room anyway. Yoongi is quiet, I feel like I’d really annoy him.”

“Heh, yeah,” Jeongguk managed to say. “Probably.”

Taehyung smiled at him and Jeongguk decided that he always wanted to make his hyung smile. 

After Taehyung left for the night and the members all took their showers, Jeongguk collapsed on his bed. His eyelids slipped shut and he hummed as his brain traveled to thoughts of dream-Taehyung. How it felt to touch him. Jeongguk smiled, embarrassed at himself, and rolled onto his side, curling around his pillow. 

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

When Jeongguk opened his eyes, he was sitting across from a frowning, robe-less Taehyung. The boy cocked his head as Jeongguk sat up straighter. “You really can’t help it, can you?”

Jeongguk opened his mouth, but then remembered. Taehyung shook his head, “I’ve decided it’s okay. So speak.”

“What do you want me to say?” Jeongguk asked, shocked at the sound of his voice. It was too loud in the silent darkness surrounding them.

Taehyung gave him a tight-lipped smile. “Nothing.” Then, “I want you to distract me.”

Jeongguk hesitated, “Where’s your coat?”

Taehyung’s eyes twinkled cruelly. “Don’t you like me better this way?”

The maknae worked his jaw and Taehyung reached towards him. Something made Jeongguk lean away from the elder’s hand, but Taehyung only paused for a moment, glancing up into Jeongguk’s eyes, before reaching the rest of the way and grasping the maknae’s wrist. Jeongguk gasped at the chill of his fingers. “Hyung, you’re cold.”

“Then warm me up,” Taehyung whispered.

Jeongguk swallowed and Taehyung tightened his grip, as if he was afraid that the maknae would run away. But he only nodded meekly and let his hyung pull him closer. Jeongguk dutifully positioned himself behind Taehyung, gasping at the new trails of blood. “Why aren’t they healing?”

“They keep reopening,” Taehyung said, sharply hissing in a breath through his teeth as he gingerly resituated to bend forward. 

“Can I -” 

“Don’t push it, Jeongguk,” Taehyung snapped. 

“Sorry, hyung,” the maknae mumbled.

Taehyung hummed in response, deflating as Jeongguk pressed his palms down on his shoulders. Jeongguk pushed his fingers up into the hair on the nape of Taehyung’s neck, and the older boy groaned as the maknae gave it a light tug. The blood on Taehyung’s smooth back glinted up at Jeongguk like an accusation. 

Suddenly, something overtook the maknae and he removed his hands from Taehyung. The boy made an indignant noise and turned his head, but froze when he saw Jeongguk lift off his t-shirt. Taehyung breathed, “What are you doing, Kookie?”

Jeongguk squirmed but somehow managed to quip, “Don’t you like me better this way, hyung?”

Taehyung gave a sharp, humorless laugh and turned back away from the maknae. Jeongguk balled up the shirt and pressed it against the middle of Taehyung’s back, seeping up as much of the blood as he could. Taehyung sighed as he worked, which only encouraged him to keep going. The elder made a warning noise in the back of his throat when Jeongguk accidentally brushed too close to the edge of one of his wounds, but the maknae quickly moved down and Taehyung relaxed again. Once finished, Jeongguk set the t-shirt to the side. It was now ruined, but he honestly couldn’t care less. Taehyung mewled, “Thank you, Kookie.”

Jeongguk twitched awkwardly, “No problem, hyung.”

Taehyung spun around slowly to sit cross-legged facing Jeongguk. He pursed his lips and whispered more to himself than to Jeongguk, “This was incredibly selfish.”

“I don’t mind, hyung,” Jeongguk assured him. “If I can help you feel better, I will.”

The older boy shook his head, “Not that. I shouldn’t be coming to you. We shouldn’t even be together here.”

The silence that followed was deafening. Taehyung lowered his eyes, but flinched when Jeongguk suddenly spoke, “Because they’ll find out, right? Who are ‘they’?”

Taehyung blinked lazily at him. “It doesn’t matter.”

“This is _my_ dream, hyung,” Jeongguk whined. “So tell me.”

Taehyung’s eyebrows shot skyward. “No.”

“No?” Jeongguk asked in disbelief.

“No,” Taehyung affirmed. 

Why did Jeongguk find him so frustrating? More pressing, why did he find him so fucking _gorgeous_? He wasn’t supposed to feel these things, was he?

Was he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three cheers for the title of the story being in two chapters in a row look at me being *original*


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go kids the first chapter that actually lives up to the “mature” rating buckle the hell up

Over the next couple of weeks, Taehyung learned how life as a member of BTS worked. He hadn’t moved in yet - they were waiting until the paperwork process was done - but that didn’t mean that they weren’t preparing. A new bed had already been purchased and set up in Jeongguk’s room - the maknae had volunteered to get the new roommate after letting Yoongi struggle to politely say, “I really don’t want a roommate, much less a noisy one,” for a couple minutes. It was the funniest thing he’d seen all day, and Yoongi just rolled his eyes at his dongsaeng’s laughter. Taehyung was moving a few things over to his soon-to-be room whenever he could so that it’d be easy to just move in. Jeongguk tried not to put too much thought into the giddiness he felt whenever he looked over and saw Taehyung’s random stuffed animals and clothes scattered on the new bed. 

And when Jeongguk slept, he experienced even more bliss. Dream-Taehyung was not as happy and smiley as real-Taehyung - he was angrier, more withdrawn, and in pain. But Jeongguk couldn’t deny that a shudder of pleasure went through him whenever dream-Taehyung asked to be touched. 

He also couldn’t deny that the feelings he had in his dreams were starting to seep over into the conscious world. He couldn’t ignore it when Taehyung smiled anymore (not that he really ever could). A stab of jealousy overtook him whenever Taehyung gave one of the hyungs his attention instead of Jeongguk. And whenever Taehyung touched him, Jeongguk was nearly blinded by the yearning that overtook him.

It didn’t help matters any that Taehyung was _clingy_. The first time he jumped on Jeongguk’s back, the maknae noticed two things. One, Taehyung was incredibly light. As in, how could any human being of his stature be that light? How the hell did he have any muscle at all? Was he actually just skin and bone under his clothes?

And two, Jeongguk really, _really_ liked having his hyung wrapped around his body.

He made it his mission to touch Taehyung as much as possible without it being weird. If he could hug him, he did. If he could find an excuse to tackle him, he did. If he could sit in between his legs as they rested on the floor, he did - hopefully Taehyung couldn’t hear his heartbeat spike whenever he wrapped his arms around the maknae’s torso. 

It seemed like Taehyung had the exact same mission, for he was constantly touching the maknae. Jeongguk’s favorite was when he absentmindedly rubbed his ear with those gentle, perfect fingers. The maknae made a conscious effort to wear earrings so that Taehyung would have something to play with. 

The first time Taehyung kissed him, Jeongguk was so startled that all he could think to do was shove him away. Thank god that didn’t scare him off, or else Jeongguk would have hated himself forever.

It wasn’t the type of kiss that Jeongguk was slowly accepting that he wanted. It was a brotherly kiss to the ear and done in passing when Taehyung was hugging him. But Jeongguk understood that he had to take what he could get - he shouldn’t have a crush on his hyung, and his hyung most certainly did not have a crush on him back (no matter what his dreams tried to convince him). 

“Hyung!” Jeongguk jerked away with a shaky laugh, rubbing his ear on his shoulder to hide his burning face.

Taehyung simply flashed a boxy grin, “Sorry, Kookie, you just make me relaxed.”

“And you kiss things that make you relaxed?” Jeongguk asked.

“Only cute things,” Taehyung said, reaching forward and pinching Jeongguk’s cheek. “Aw, I made the Golden Maknae blush. How cute.”

With that, he brushed a quick kiss against Jeongguk warm cheek. Jeongguk batted him away, “H-hyung!”

Taehyung sighed, long and low, and loosely hung his arms around Jeongguk’s neck, “You are quite stubborn, aren’t you?”

Jeongguk froze, deja vu hitting him like a truck. “What?”

“TaeTae!” Jimin suddenly hollered from the other side of the room, “Can I get your help?”

Taehyung dropped his arms and, with one last look at Jeongguk, left the maknae to his thoughts.

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

When Jeongguk fell asleep that night, dream-Taehyung was grinning wickedly at him. Before Jeongguk could ask what he was thinking, dream-Taehyung launched forward and pressed his lips to the crook of Jeongguk’s neck. A soft gasp escaped the maknae, and Taehyung pulled away with a dark chuckle, “You like me, Kookie.”

“O-of course I do, you’re my hyung,” Jeongguk somehow said, catching his breath.

“No,” Taehyung shook his head. “I mean, you _like_ me, Jeonggukie. How cute.”

Fuck it. 

Jeongguk laced the fingers of one hand in Taehyung’s hair and smashed their lips together. If he couldn’t have it in the real world, at least he could have it here. It was cruel of his mind to create such a perfect rendition of the boy, but right now Jeongguk was too neglected to care that it wasn’t real. 

The kiss wasn’t gentle. It was rough and frustrated and Jeongguk hooked his other hand around the back of Taehyung’s neck so he could deepen it, probing at the older boy’s lips with his tongue. 

Taehyung laughed against Jeongguk and pulled back, holding up a hand when the maknae moved to follow him. “Now, what was that for?”

Jeongguk glared at him, “I know this isn’t real. So I might as well get rid of all my frustration here, right?”

There was that wicked smile again. It looked like Taehyung was about to say something, but he decided against it and let Jeongguk kiss him again.

It wasn’t satisfying. Jeongguk growled and pulled away, running his hands through his hair. “Fuck!”

Taehyung pressed his fingertips to his lips, hiding a smile. His eyes twinkled. “What is it, Kookie?”

“You’re not him!” Jeongguk snapped. “You look like him but you’re not and I fucking know you’re not.”

“Who?” Taehyung asked, laughing at the maknae.

Anger suddenly exploded in Jeongguk’s stomach, hot and consuming, and he shoved his hands against Taehyung’s bare chest. The older boy swayed a step backwards, but his smile never faded. Jeongguk snarled, “Taehyung. You’re not Taehyung, you’re just my pathetic excuse for a wet dream.”

Taehyung looked skyward, rolling his eyes, “Your wet dreams are very uneventful.” 

Jeongguk stared at him, amazed. “This is ridiculous. There are easier ways for my brain to tell me I’m gay.”

Taehyung shrugged, “I like this way. Angry Kookie is pretty sexy.”

Heat pooled in Jeongguk’s stomach at the tone in Taehyung’s voice. He wasn’t entirely sure what to do about it, though, so he went back to kissing the older boy. His hands found their way to the hem of Taehyung’s pants and he gave them an experimental tug. 

“Kookie,” Taehyung growled.

“Yeah?” The maknae breathed, pulling away only to bite at the older boy’s collarbone.

Taehyung groaned and it rumbled against Jeongguk’s mouth when he pressed his lips to Taehyung’s throat. “Kookie, stop.”

“Why?” Jeongguk whined.

“I’m not going to fuck you,” Taehyung said, pushing away Jeongguk’s hands.

“Why not?” 

“Heh,” Taehyung stepped away from the maknae, working his jaw, “because I don’t want to.”

Jeongguk pouted, “Jesus Christ, I can’t even get a break in my _dreams_.”

Taehyung ignored him and instead looked down at the bulge in Jeongguk’s sweatpants. “Besides,” he grinned, “you better take care of that before your alarm goes off.”

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

Jeongguk woke up two minutes before his alarm with the worst case of morning wood he’d ever experienced. He groaned and thanked the universe for having one of the only two single rooms, and again for not letting Taehyung be his roommate yet. He really needed to get this under control. It couldn’t be normal to constantly dream about someone like this. 

When his problem proved that it wasn’t about to fade away on its own, Jeongguk sighed. Of course he touched himself, he just wasn’t a fan of doing it when he literally had to. It took the fun out of it.

He glanced at the clock again. It was early enough that he could get away with taking a shower by himself, which was where he preferred to jerk off. Less clean up afterwards. This wouldn’t be a problem if the “second” bathroom wasn’t just a half bath and they had two showers. He pushed himself up and shuffled down the hall, wincing at the discomfort each step caused. 

When Jeongguk was finished ten minutes later and wandering back to his room to get dressed, he tried to not think about how Taehyung’s face was all he could think about in the shower. 

Practice that day was giddier than usual. The hyungs were all worrying over Taehyung, making sure everything was ready for that night. After two and a half weeks, Taehyung was finally ready to debut as the seventh and final member of BTS, but the actual announcement wouldn’t go out for another few days. The important matter on everyone’s minds was that tonight, Taehyung would officially move into the dorm. 

It was actually pretty funny to see the hyungs act like mother hens. Seokjin, the undisputed eomma of the group, was so worried that Taehyung remembered his toothbrush that the boy actually went to the bags he had brought with him and pulled it out to show the oldest hyung. And then Namjoon was concerned about making sure the roommate setup was okay, actually okay. Taehyung wrapped his arms around Jeongguk’s neck and grinned at the leader, “It’s perfect, hyung, I’ll get to play with Kookie everyday!”

Jeongguk squirmed and Taehyung dropped his arms, stepping away. Namjoon then asked the maknae the same thing, and Jeongguk responded with a tight-lipped smile and a nod, “Of course, hyung. I’m excited to room with Taehyung.”

And he was, but he was nervous too. He hoped his dreams would calm down a bit because the last thing he needed was Taehyung to see him wake up with the boner of the century. 

But maybe this would end up solving the problem. Maybe, if he was close to Taehyung, his dreams would stop and he wouldn’t have to question everything about himself anymore. 

He doubted it, but he could still hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This just in: Jeongguk is a whipped man. 
> 
> Btw I KNOW. I am AWARE. That the bathroom setup is different IRL. I UNDERSTAND that. Just let me have my unnecessary angst.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’d love to hear what you guys think of the story so far so don’t be afraid to drop a comment down below <3

Taehyung dropped his last bag and stretched his arms skyward. Jeongguk chewed the inside of his cheek, trying not to stare at the flash of tummy the stretch offered him. Taehyung groaned happily and lifted himself onto his toes, squeezing his eyes shut. Jeongguk’s disrespectful brain suggested that it would be incredible to invoke that noise from the boy himself, and he blushed and dropped his gaze. Taehyung, finished with his stretch, rested his hands on his hips, “Want to help me, Kookie?”

Jeongguk snorted, flopping on his bed, “No.”

Taehyung pleaded, “Please, Kookie? It’s the last one and I’m so tired.”

And fuck, Taehyung’s voice was especially sexy when it was begging. Jeongguk pushed his tired body up and crossed to his hyung. “What do you want me to do?”

Taehyung enveloped his arms around Jeongguk’s neck, nuzzling his cheek. “Thanks, Kookie!”

“Yeah,” Jeongguk said, his voice trembling. He brushed off his hyung’s arms, worried that he’d feel his hammering heart. “Sure thing, hyung.” 

Taehyung frowned when Jeongguk pushed him away, but the frown quickly melted into grin as he picked up the bag and dropped it on the bed. “I don’t even know what’s in here.”

Jeongguk laughed, “You’re so unorganized, hyung.”

Taehyung stuck his tongue out at the maknae and unzipped the bag. “Oh yeah!”

Inside were things Taehyung had needed until the last day at his old home, things like his toothbrush and toothpaste, his soap, and his hairbrush. Jeongguk let him take his toiletries to the bathroom, shaking his head at the thought of yet another toothbrush in the container to sort through in the morning, and rummaged through the rest of the contents. Taehyung also had socks, a couple of t-shirts and shorts, and ( _are you actually serious_ ) underwear in the bag. Jeongguk groaned at his immaturity ( _everyone wears underwear, Jeongguk, get it together_ ) and folded the t-shirts the way he had seen Taehyung do it before stuffing them in his drawer. The shorts followed, and then Taehyung had returned. “Ah, Jeonggukie,” he scolded playfully, “you haven’t hardly done anything!”

“It’s not like you were gone forever,” Jeongguk reminded him. 

Taehyung grabbed the underwear ( _thank god_ ) and put them and his socks in their respective drawers. Finally done unpacking, Taehyung stuck out an arm and, before Jeongguk could react, clotheslined the maknae onto his bed. Jeongguk squirmed beneath Taehyung’s nonexistent weight, but forced himself to relax when Taehyung only held onto him tighter. He begged his blood to stop singing in his ears, but that wasn’t going to happen as Taehyung leaned closer and murmured, his breath tickling Jeongguk’s ear, “Thank you, Kookie.”

And then his lips were on Jeongguk’s earlobe and the maknae couldn’t hide the hitch in his breath. Taehyung pushed himself up, hovering over Jeongguk with his eyebrows furrowed. “Are you alright, Kookie?” He asked, worry laced in his voice. 

Jeongguk forced himself to nod, managing a high pitched “mm-hmm” in response. Taehyung’s eyebrows rose and for a moment - just a moment - Jeongguk imagined that the older boy was about to kiss his lips. But Taehyung only lay back down, his breath coming out in small puffs against Jeongguk’s cheek. They stayed like that for what felt like an eternity. Jeongguk’s eyes stayed fixed to the ceiling, wide and terrified, while Taehyung’s slipped shut. After a few minutes, Taehyung said sleepily, “Kookie? Can I ask you a favor?”

“Of course, hyung,” Jeongguk responded. “Anything.”

“Um,” Taehyung pushed himself up and Jeongguk felt a stab of disappointment. “Could I maybe - ah, it’s silly.”

Jeongguk sat up with him, resting his hand on the older boy’s wrist. “What is it, hyung?”

Taehyung shrugged, “Could I maybe - heh,” he let out an uncomfortable laugh, “could I maybe sleep with you?”

When Jeongguk hesitated, Taehyung quickly rambled, “Because it makes me feel better to have someone close by, and I get nervous in new places, and I really trust you and feel safe around you, and I know that I wouldn’t be nervous if I was close to you, and I promise it wouldn’t be a permanent thing, maybe a few nights, maybe like a week or less at the most, maybe just until I’m not nervous anymore, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, and I’m sorry if this is asking too much or going to far, I just thought -“

“Hyung,” Jeongguk said softly, stopping the older boy. Taehyung swallowed whatever he was about to say and met Jeongguk’s eyes. The maknae ran a hand through Taehyung’s hair, elated because he was real and here and trusted Jeongguk enough to sleep beside him, and said earnestly, “Of course you can.”

Taehyung’s eyes fluttered shut, so Jeongguk kept petting his hair. “Are you sure?” Asked the older boy after a long moment that could have lasted for seconds or hours. “Because -“

With willpower that Jeongguk didn’t know he possessed, he pressed a hand to Taehyung’s mouth. “I’m sure, hyung.” 

Taehyung nodded slowly, eyes wide and innocent, and Jeongguk lowered his hand. “Okay,” murmured the boy. 

Jeongguk nodded back, “Okay.”

By the time everyone had showered and eaten, it was late into the night. The members sat in the living room for about an hour, trying to stay awake and watch a movie together, but they were all too exhausted to finish it. Yoongi moved first, mumbling an incoherent “goodnight” and going to his room. Namjoon turned off the TV and helped a dozing Jimin to his feet, leading him back to their room. Seokjin and Hoseok sat up with the maknaes for a few minutes more, trying to form a conversation, but they were beyond tired and eventually Seokjin just reminded them that tomorrow was their day off and if they wanted to make the most of it, they needed to go to sleep. Jeongguk grunted in response, and Taehyung just nodded. Not quite satisfied, the eldest hyung left for the night. Hoseok ruffled the two boys’ hair and followed him. 

Jeongguk tried to calm down. Taehyung’s arm was pressed against the maknae’s as they curled up on the sofa, and even though he now had room to scoot away, he didn’t. Instead, he dropped his head on Jeongguk’s shoulder and threw an arm over his torso. “Should we go to bed too, Kookie?” He asked. 

“Only if you want to,” Jeongguk breathed. 

“Hmm,” Taehyung buried himself deeper into Jeongguk’s side. “I want to play, but I’m too tired.”

“Then let's go to bed,” Jeongguk said. “You can do whatever you want tomorrow.”

Taehyung nodded, his hair brushing Jeongguk’s jaw, “Yeah, I guess so. I’ll play with Kookie tomorrow.”

The older boy definitely felt Jeongguk’s stomach flex against the butterflies that suddenly materialized inside it, but he thankfully ignored it. Jeongguk forced himself to say, “Yeah, if you want.”

Taehyung hummed and lifted himself up. Jeongguk couldn’t ignore the stab of disappointment, but it quickly dissipated when Taehyung pulled him to his feet and tugged him down the hall, fingers laced with his. 

Once in the bedroom, Jeongguk perched on the foot of his bed, suddenly very aware of how close they were and how small the bed was and how small _he_ was. Taehyung glanced at him, “What side do you want?” 

Jeongguk shrugged, avoiding his hyung’s eyes. “Whatever side you don’t want, I guess.”

Taehyung laughed and hopped on the bed. “Come here then, Kookie.”

Jeongguk obeyed, letting Taehyung pull him under the blanket with him. He rolled onto his side, his back facing Taehyung. The older boy whispered, “Is it alright to touch you?” 

Jeongguk swallowed and nodded. A shiver ran down his spine as Taehyung carded his long fingers through his brown hair, grabbing a handful and holding it tightly in his fist. Every nerve in Jeongguk’s body was on edge, curious as to how the older boy would ruin him next. Taehyung let go of Jeongguk’s hair and instead pressed his forehead into the maknae’s shoulder blade, sighing, and grabbed onto his t-shirt. Jeongguk’s heart was hammering so loud that he feared his hyung could hear it. Taehyung murmured into his back, “Goodnight, Kookie.”

“Goodnight, hyung,” Jeongguk breathed. 

It took at least twenty minutes for Jeongguk to force his eyes shut after Taehyung fell asleep, and probably another thirty for him to calm down enough to actually sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

“Where were you?” Taehyung snapped as soon as Jeongguk opened his eyes.

The maknae squirmed, “Sorry. It took me awhile to fall asleep.”

“Is it because of me?” Taehyung demanded, lurching forward. “Did I go to far?”

Jeongguk raised his eyebrows, “Do you mean _you_ you or real you?” Taehyung glowered at him and Jeongguk shook his head, “So is this going to be the dream where I finally work through my feelings for you?”

“Which _me_?” Taehyung asked, his voice cold.

The maknae hesitated. He was used to dream-Taehyung being grumpy - anyone with two holes in their back would be, after all - but this was new. There was something sinister in Taehyung’s words, as if he were a wild animal and Jeongguk was cornering him. Jeongguk stepped closer hesitantly, “Hyung? What’s wrong?”

Taehyung gripped at his hair, pacing away from Jeongguk. The wounds in his back were red and angry. “I shouldn’t be getting this close to you, Kookie,” he said. “I should be living out my days the way my punishment intended: sad and alone and dying that way. That’s the only way they’ll be happy and leave you alone.”

“Hyung?” Jeongguk walked forward, reaching out his hand. Taehyung jerked away and the maknae froze. “Please don’t talk like that.”

“What?” Taehyung snarled.

“I don’t understand what you’re saying, but I don’t like it.” Jeongguk stepped forward again and didn’t stop when Taehyung stumbled backwards. He kept moving until Taehyung was enveloped in his arms. Fingers twined in the older boy’s hair, Jeongguk whispered, “Please, Taehyung-ssi. I know you won’t tell me who you’re scared of and I know I can’t touch or mention your wounds, but please let me help you. Don’t talk about being sad and alone and dying. You deserve everything this world has to offer and more.”

Taehyung shuddered and Jeongguk realized he was crying. “But Kookie - they’ll come after us.”

“I don’t know who they are, hyung,” Jeongguk responded, “but if they’re the ones who hurt you, they’re the ones who should be afraid.”

Taehyung laughed a genuine laugh - the type of laugh that the real Taehyung rewarded the maknae with on a daily basis - and pulled away from Jeongguk’s embrace. “You know what, Kookie?”

“Yes, hyung?” Jeongguk breathed, unable to look away from his dark eyes.

“I think I like you too,” the older boy said sheepishly. The world disappeared out from under Jeongguk’s feet as Taehyung nodded to himself, “Yes, I definitely like you too.”

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

Jeongguk woke up before Taehyung and groaned, trying to understand where he was. The dream had been so lifelike that he’d forgotten that that’s all it was. A stab of disappointment went through him. Of course Taehyung didn’t _actually_ like him back.

It wasn’t until Taehyung started stirring that Jeongguk realized their positions had changed. He was now facing the older boy with one arm pillowing his head and the other laced in his hair, pressing the boy’s forehead into his shoulder. That might have been fine if Taehyung hadn’t had his own arm slung over Jeongguk’s torso and his thigh hooked around Jeongguk’s. The maknae blushed at how his own leg had somehow slipped between Taehyung’s during the night, but it was too late to try and untangle their limbs. He dropped the hand that was in Taehyung’s hair to the boy’s shoulder, and Taehyung blinked blearily up at him, innocence dripping from every inch of his body. “Kookie?”

“Yeah?” breathed Jeongguk. 

The older boy squirmed and Jeongguk immediately pulled his arms and legs away, terrified that he’d made his hyung uncomfortable. But Taehyung shook his head fiercely, gripping the front of Jeongguk’s shirt. “Please don’t.”

Jeongguk hesitantly returned to his previous position. Taehyung hadn’t even removed his leg from around Jeongguk’s hip, and its weight (or lack thereof) was making Jeongguk’s heart burst out of his chest. Taehyung nuzzled deeper against Jeongguk, his breath coming out in warm puffs against Jeongguk’s throat. He hummed, “Can we just stay like this for a moment? I’m still sleepy.”

_Fuck, that voice._ Jeongguk nodded and settled against Taehyung. The older boy giggled after a moment, “Are you nervous, Kookie?”

“What?” Jeongguk asked.

“Your heart is beating really quickly. Are you okay?”

“Oh,” Jeongguk pulled away so that his chest was no longer touching Taehyung. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Good,” Taehyung pulled Jeongguk closer again. After a long moment - after Jeongguk thought he had fallen back asleep - Taehyung asked, “Do I make you nervous, Kookie?”

Jeongguk stiffened, “Please don’t ask me that.”

“Because it’s okay if I do, I just -”

“Hyung,” Jeongguk snapped, “don’t.”

He pulled himself from Taehyung’s embrace, brushing off the older boy’s thigh, and pushed himself out of the bed. He ran a hand through his hair and Taehyung sat up, watching with an unreadable expression as Jeongguk grabbed some clothes and beelined out of the room, shutting the door behind him. 

Someone was already in the shower, so Jeongguk asked to come in and, when given permission, brushed his teeth. When finished, he stepped into the shower and immediately hissed, “Jimin, for fuck’s sake, why must you always have the water at melting temperatures?”

Jimin rubbed water out of his eyes and raised an eyebrow at Jeongguk. “Why are you so grumpy?”

Jeongguk frowned and snatched the bottle of shampoo his hyung offered him. “I’m not. I just don’t like getting third-degree burns first thing in the morning.”

Jimin snorted and turned away. “Well, I’m done anyway, so you can turn it into an icebox for all I care.”

With that, he exited the shower and Jeongguk sighed. He didn’t need to take out his hormonal problems on the other members. “Hyung?” he peeked out of the shower.

Jimin turned his head, wrapping a towel over himself. “Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.”

“No problem, Kookie, it’s okay to be grumpy sometimes,” Jimin offered a bright smile, his cheeks pushing up until his eyes were mere slits. “Just make sure you get it all out before you see Seokjin-hyung.”

Jeongguk nodded and ducked back into the shower. A few minutes later, he heard Jimin open the bathroom door to leave. The mochi let out a surprised gasp and then an apology and Jeongguk frowned. “Jimin-ssi?”

“It’s me, Kookie,” Taehyung’s low voice rumbled from outside the shower.

_Shit._

“Is that alright?” Taehyung asked, his voice trembling. 

“Y-yeah, hyung, I’m almost done,” Jeongguk stuttered, sending out a silent prayer that the boy wouldn’t come into the shower with him. 

Thankfully, Jeongguk was able to quickly finish and grab a towel before Taehyung could get in behind him. The poor maknae’s nerves wouldn’t be able to handle having a _naked_ Taehyung that close to him. His heart was already threatening to come out through his throat at the mere thought of it. Jeongguk reached out from around the shower curtain and blindly felt around for the cupboard. Suddenly, Taehyung’s dry hand met Jeongguk’s wet one, handing him a towel. Jeongguk squeaked a “thank you” and hurried to dry himself off. Taehyung slid into the shower just as Jeongguk stepped out, timing it so Jeongguk only received a flash of honeyed skin before he disappeared. Jeongguk swallowed and quickly dressed, thanking the universe for small miracles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	10. Chapter 10

When Taehyung exited the bathroom, Jeongguk was sitting in the living room on the floor playing _Overwatch_. The maknae didn’t even have to look up to know he was there - the dark hair along his nape stood up as the boy slid onto the floor beside him. “Hey, hyung,” Jeongguk forced himself to say. “I, uh, I’m sorry. For - earlier.”

Taehyung twitched into a shrug, “It’s okay, Kookie. I’m sorry too.”

Jeongguk swallowed and tried to focus on the screen. After a few minutes of Taehyung watching him silently, the maknae asked, “Do you want to play with me?”

The maknae could almost hear the smile spreading across Taehyung’s face. “Of course, Kookie! I’ve never played this game before, how does it work?”

And fuck, teaching Taehyung the ins and outs of _Overwatch_ was so _domestic_. Jeongguk almost laughed at himself. Hoseok had stepped into the room and sat down to watch them, and he giggled at the way Jeongguk shyly pointed to buttons on Taehyung’s controller. 

It didn’t matter how nervous or jumpy Jeongguk was, though - he and Hoseok were soon laughing at the boy. “Taehyungie,” Hoseok wheezed, “you don’t have to _try_ to be bad!”

Taehyung squirmed sheepishly. “I’m not, hyung.” But he was laughing at himself too, and Jeongguk’s heart melted a little more with each echoing burst from his hyung.

Jimin and Seokjin came in, curious as to why the three boys were all cackling like hyenas. Seokjin sat on the couch beside Hoseok, but Jimin dropped down behind Taehyung and wrapped his arms around the boy’s chest. “Come on, TaeTae! You can do it!”

Jeongguk stiffened as Taehyung laughed and reached up to ruffle Jimin’s hair, which only made the mochi giggle and hug him tighter. Jeongguk worked his jaw, unable to look away from the display. His grip on his controller tightened until the plastic groaned under the force. If Taehyung noticed the change in his demeanor, he didn’t react to it. 

Jeongguk was so focused on the anger burning through his veins that he didn’t notice when Taehyung beat him until Hoseok, Jimin, and Seokjin started shouting praises to the newest member. Jeongguk’s eyes snapped to the TV screen and he pursed his lips. Taehyung reached over to grip the maknae’s shoulder, but Jeongguk shrugged him off. Jimin hollered, “My turn, Kookie! Can I play with Taehyung one round?”

Jeongguk robotically handed the controller to his hyung and stood up. “Yeah,” he nodded absently, “I was getting bored constantly beating Taehyung-ssi anyway.”

The two oldest hyungs in the room “ _oooo_ ”ed as the maknae left the room. It took every ounce of willpower Jeongguk had not to slam his bedroom door behind him.

This was ridiculous. Taehyung was allowed to have relationships with the hyungs. Jimin was allowed to play and cuddle with him, just like all of the members were. 

Though at the moment, Jeongguk didn’t care. Red hot jealousy was coursing through his body, and all he wanted to do was be immature and lay on his bed, curl around his pillow, and cry. Because he was whipped for Taehyung, and he couldn’t deny that anymore, and he couldn’t do anything about it because Taehyung didn’t like him back, would never like him back, because they were bandmates and -

Even though Jeongguk was drowning in self-pity, he still heard the door open and then quietly shut. The bed dipped and Jeongguk forced himself to look up at the intruder.

Taehyung perched on the edge of the bed with his hands wringing themselves in his lap. He met Jeongguk’s eyes and offered a small smile. “Talk to me, Kookie.”

Jeongguk opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He snapped his jaw shut and turned his face away. Taehyung stubbornly cupped his hand under Jeongguk’s cheek and turned his head back towards him. “Kookie, please.”

“I can’t hyung,” Jeongguk admitted, his voice breaking.

The room was closing in around him, threatening to swallow him whole. In the middle of it sat Taehyung, the eye of the hurricane, but Jeongguk wasn’t strong enough to reach for the refuge he promised. 

“Why not?” Taehyung asked.

“Please don’t ask me that,” Jeongguk begged for the second time that day. “I can’t answer it.”

Taehyung sighed and dropped his hand away from Jeongguk’s face. The maknae squeezed his eyes shut and turned away. Now he’d done it. He’d ruined everything. Taehyung would feel too awkward now, and he’d leave, and BTS would suffer because of Jeongguk’s selfishness. 

“Kookie, please look at me.”

Jeongguk pressed his face into his pillow. He was so, so pathetic, and Taehyung was the cruelest person he’d ever met. Why couldn’t he just leave? Why did he have to torture him? 

“Kookie.” Taehyung rested a gentle hand on Jeongguk’s thigh. “Look at me, Jeongguk.”

The maknae finally obeyed, meeting Taehyung’s shining eyes. Any hint of a smile was gone from that gorgeous face, and Jeongguk almost sobbed at his crime. He had taken away Taehyung’s happiness, and that was unforgivable.

As if he heard Jeongguk’s thoughts, Taehyung’s lip hitched up in the corner. “Kookie, you understand that I’m allowed to be intimate with the other members too, right?”

Jeongguk forced himself to nod and Taehyung continued, “Because they’re my hyungs, which means I can hug and play with them just like I can with you.”

Misery strangled Jeongguk, but he managed to whisper, “I know, hyung. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m so, so sorry. Please don’t leave because of me.”

Taehyung’s eyebrows furrowed, “Why would I leave?”

Jeongguk sat up, pulling his knees to his chest. Taehyung’s eyes followed him warily. “Because I fucked it up,” Jeongguk murmured, tears pricking at the back of his eyes. “But I don’t want everyone else to suffer because I’m a selfish moron. I’ll move to a different room, I’ll sleep on the couch if I have to because I understand if you aren’t comfortable around me anymore. Just please, please don’t leave.”

Jeongguk couldn’t meet his hyung’s piercing eyes. His beautiful eyes that Jeongguk would never have a right to look into anymore. Taehyung cocked his head sadly at the maknae. More to himself than to Jeongguk, he muttered, “This is a terrible idea.”

“What is, hyung?” Jeongguk breathed, trying to hide the feeble cracks in his voice.

Taehyung met his gaze and sighed, “Promise me you won’t freak out.”

“What?”

Taehyung ignored the question and fingered the hem of his t-shirt. Jeongguk watched him, confused. With a sigh, Taehyung steeled himself and lifted the shirt up over his head. 

Jeongguk opened his mouth to demand an explanation - was this just a joke to him? - but it died in his throat when Taehyung twisted so that his back faced him. 

“It’s real, Kookie,” he breathed, his shoulder muscles rolling forward. “It’s all real. It always was.”

Jeongguk hesitantly reached forward. Taehyung bowed his head, “You can - you -” he swallowed, “You can touch me if you want. Just please, _shit_ , please be careful. Don’t touch _them_. I’m not ready for that yet.”

Two identical wounds tore open Taehyung’s back, red and gnarled. Jeongguk rested his palm on the boy’s shoulder blade, obeying his wishes and avoiding the wounds themselves. “What happened to you, hyung?”

“That’s your first question?” Taehyung asked in awe. “I tell you that all of your dreams are real, and your immediate reaction is to ask what happened to me?”

“Well,” Jeongguk squirmed, “I’ll admit, I’m pretty embarrassed that it was really you the entire time, but, uh, I guess I’m not too surprised? Like, it’s weird, and it’s difficult to understand, but it always felt really real.”

Taehyung laughed humorlessly, “Why would you be embarrassed?”

Jeongguk’s face lit on fire. _Because I practically sucked your face off. And I tried to bang you. And I called you a wet dream._ “Because I said and did things that I wouldn’t have if I would have known it was really you.”

Taehyung turned his head to grin at the maknae. “Like what, Kookie?”

Jeongguk pushed his face away. “Shut up, hyung.”

Serious again, Taehyung murmured, “I’m glad you thought it was just a dream. It means I can really believe everything you said.”

Jeongguk squirmed, “Can I believe everything you said?”

Taehyung turned to face Jeongguk. He promised, “Of course you can.”

Jeongguk realized a moment after Taehyung started moving that he was about to be kissed. 

It was gentle, like Taehyung was afraid Jeongguk would disappear if he moved too quickly. But it was explosive, and a chain reaction was going off in Jeongguk’s brain as he registered a million sensations at once. Taehyung’s lips were rose petals against his - soft and delicate. He smelled of cinnamon and musk and something airy that was all intoxicatingly him. His hands rested on the small of Jeongguk’s back, barely touching him, barely anchoring them together, and Jeongguk was so unsure, so scared. What if Taehyung was just being nice? What if he was doing this because he knew that Jeongguk wanted it? What if this was just a manifestation of pity?

Jeongguk dropped his head, breaking the kiss. Taehyung lurched back as if electrocuted, “I’m so sorry, Kookie, was that not okay? I just thought - shit, I’m so sorry.”

The maknae stared at him. He felt like he was on the brink of divine understanding, but he was missing too many pieces to put it together. His heart was beating too hard, his breath was coming in too shallow and releasing too quickly. And throughout it all, Taehyung was frozen, his hands trembling, waiting for him to move, to speak, to do _something_. Wetting his lips, Jeongguk finally whispered, “Is this actually real?”

Taehyung’s eyebrows furrowed, “What?”

“You don’t have to - I mean, this - you...” Jeongguk wanted to curl into a ball, to disappear inside himself. “I didn’t know you - how could I... _you_ -”

Taehyung breathed a shaky laugh, running a hand through his hair. “I did. I _do_. Do you?”

And it still didn’t make sense, none of it did, and Jeongguk had a vague sense that maybe it never really would. But then Taehyung was leaning forward nervously, and Jeongguk knew he needed to lean forward too. And then their lips were pressed together again, delicate and terrified, and Taehyung’s hands were on his back once more, barely touching him. Those perfect fingers were trembling; Jeongguk could feel them through the fabric of his shirt. Taehyung shifted a few centimeters away and released a puff of warm air that drifted across Jeongguk’s lips, intoxicating him, before going back to kissing him, slow and wary. But his honey-colored skin was _right there_ and after fantasizing about touching him in the real world for so long, Jeongguk couldn’t stand how fragile Taehyung was treating him. He gasped and grappled at the older boy’s bare shoulders, pulling him closer. He tilted his head and Taehyung hesitantly tangled his fingers in his hair, braver after Jeongguk’s reaction. The older boy probed Jeongguk’s lips with his tongue and, when he let out an embarrassing whine, slipped it inside his mouth. Jeongguk sighed as Taehyung licked at him, heat pooling in his stomach. When Taehyung slipped a hand under Jeongguk’s shirt, trailing his long fingers over the toned muscles there, Jeongguk could only moan as he began to combust. The heat in his stomach was dripping down to a place that Jeongguk realized he desperately wanted touched. Desire reared in his entire body and he clutched at Taehyung harder, his breath coming in shallow gasps as the older boy moved to bite at his throat and shoulder. With each wet _pop_ that Taehyung’s lips made against his skin, Jeongguk felt himself unravel more and more, so that when Taehyung moved back up to kiss his lips, Jeongguk was a bundle of nerves ready to come undone. This was what he had been wanting for what felt like ages, and _fuck_ it was good. 

Taehyung pulled away, a smirk tugging at his swollen lips, “Are you okay, Kookie?”

Jeongguk moaned at the tone in his voice. He trailed his fingers down Taehyung’s bare chest before leaning forward to kiss his jaw. Taehyung tsked his tongue and gently nudged the maknae away. Jeongguk mewled indignantly, but was satisfied when Taehyung lowered him onto the bed and bit his collarbone. Jeongguk gasped and Taehyung tugged the collar of his t-shirt to the side so he could suck on his shoulder. “T-Taehyung-ssi -”

“Yes, Kookie?” Taehyung sighed, moving to kiss Jeongguk’s throat.

“P-please, hyung,” Jeongguk begged.

“Please, what?” Taehyung asked, pausing his exploration of Jeongguk’s neck.

While he had been distracting Jeongguk with his mouth, Taehyung had reached under his shirt again to press his hand against Jeongguk’s abs. 

“Fuck,” Jeongguk breathed, arching his back. “ _Please_ , Taehyung-ssi. P-please.” The maknae wasn’t entirely sure what he was asking for, but he knew that if it were given to him, he would truly die from the pleasure.

Taehyung snorted and pulled away, wiping his bottom lip with his thumb. “No.”

Jeongguk whimpered, actually whimpered, but he was too turned on to care about things like pride. All that mattered was that Taehyung was shirtless in front of him and Jeongguk had an overwhelming urge to run his tongue over the slope of his chest. “Why not?”

“Don’t look at me like that, Kookie,” Taehyung ordered, “it makes it very hard to say no to you.”

With as much innocence as his clouded brain could muster, Jeongguk crawled to Taehyung, “Please, hyung?”

“No, Jeongguk,” Taehyung said, standing. His expression darkened. “Is this the only reason you like me? Because you want to fuck me?”

Jeongguk’s stomach fell through the floor. “Hyung -”

Taehyung shook his head and pulled his t-shirt back on, wincing when it touched his wounds. “I’m going to go get something to eat.”

Moving faster than he’d ever moved in his life, Jeongguk launched forward and grabbed Taehyung’s wrist. The older boy froze, his shoulders coiled. “I’m sorry,” Jeongguk breathed. “I promise, that’s not the only reason I like you. I swear on my life. I just - you - fuck, I’m sorry.”

Taehyung tilted his head, “Are you sure? Because you seem pretty keen on doing that.”

“Come sit back down,” Jeongguk begged. He couldn’t lose Taehyung, not now. Not when he was so close to actually having him. “Please. Please talk to me.”

“About what?” Taehyung asked, but he allowed Jeongguk to tug him back to the bed. 

“Tell me - um - tell me how you were wounded.”

Taehyung sighed, and Jeongguk worried that he’d said the wrong thing. But then Taehyung shook his head, smiling sadly. “Do you know how birds are able to fly?”

“Uh, wings?” Jeongguk asked, confused.

Taehyung snorted, “Well, obviously, silly. But I mean on a more biological level.” When Jeongguk offered him a blank expression, Taehyung smiled and ran his fingers through the maknae’s hair. “My sweet boy,” he dropped his hand and looked down at the floor. “For one thing, their bones are hollow. It makes them super light.”

Jeongguk wasn’t following. “What are you saying?”

Taehyung deflated, dropping his head. He turned his back to Jeongguk and asked, “Can you help me take my shirt off?”

Jeongguk obeyed, trying to ignore how his heart hammered when the garment was off Taehyung’s body. Taehyung let Jeongguk trail his fingers over his shoulder blades, avoiding the wounds but getting as close to them as Taehyung had historically allowed (well, at least in Jeongguk’s dreams). With a sigh, Taehyung murmured, “Please figure it out, Kookie. I can’t say it or they’ll really be after us.”

“Who are ‘they’?” Jeongguk asked, already knowing that he wouldn’t receive an answer.

“You know I can’t say, Kookie,” Taehyung said sadly. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but I just really need you to trust me.”

Jeongguk leaned forward to rest his chin on Taehyung’s shoulder. He whispered, “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeon Jeongguk you are 20 years old pull yourself together


	11. Chapter 11

Dream-Taehyung was waiting for Jeongguk when he opened his eyes. With a sad smile, Taehyung held out a hand. Jeongguk took it, confused, and Taehyung explained, “I’m going to show you a memory. I can’t tell you what I am, but I don’t think it’s technically against any rules to _show_ you. Is that okay?”

Jeongguk nodded, “Yes, hyung.”

He didn’t understand what Taehyung was talking about, but he knew he’d find out eventually. Better to stay quiet and let his hyung do what he needed to do. Taehyung sighed gravely and circled to Jeongguk’s back. The maknae moved to follow him, but Taehyung said, “No. I need you to be absolutely still.”

Jeongguk obeyed, fixing his focus on the white abyss of the dreamscape. Suddenly, Taehyung’s hands were over his eyes and Jeongguk froze.

_Taehyung knelt in the middle of a dark hall, surrounded by beings that glowed and shimmered and were difficult for Jeongguk to look at. He wore only red trousers, and two massive black wings fanned out behind him on the ground. Jeongguk’s eyes widened._

_Wings. Taehyung literally had wings._

_Taehyung’s head was lowered, his entire body as still as the first time Jeongguk had seen him in his dream. His wings gleamed where the light from the beings struck them, and Jeongguk found that they were the most beautiful things he’d ever seen._

_One of the beings stepped forward, but Taehyung barely lifted his head. “Look at me,” the being ordered._

_”Fuck off,” Taehyung responded, a dark, grimacing smile plaguing his otherworldly features._

_The being reached forward and Taehyung tilted his head away. The being ignored the motion, though, and cupped what Jeongguk guessed to be a hand around Taehyung’s jaw. “You brought this on yourself.”_

_”Then I guess there’s nothing else to say, Raphael,” Taehyung said tiredly._

_Two beings came forward from behind Taehyung and Raphael held up his free hand. “Let us hear repentance, Taehyung.”_

_”Wouldn’t you love that satisfaction,” Taehyung spat. “Just fucking do it already.”_

_Raphael dropped his hand and stepped back, nodding. The two beings simultaneously finished crossing to Taehyung and picked up one wing each. Now that they were stretched to their full length, Jeongguk guessed that Taehyung’s wingspan was at least four meters long. He was in such awe at the boy’s ethereal beauty that he didn’t completely realize what was happening until Taehyung started screaming._

_The circle of beings watched silently as the two beings holding onto Taehyung’s wings began to pull. Taehyung’s head snapped back, an depraved shriek erupting from his throat. Jeongguk started forward, reaching out towards his hyung._ Why isn’t he moving? Why isn’t he running away?

_It was then that Jeongguk realized Taehyung’s wrists and ankles were bolted to the ground. The boy screamed as his wings started to slowly pull away from his body. Jeongguk tried to look away, to clap his hands over his ears, but he could only stare helplessly as the tendons in Taehyung’s wings stretched and then popped apart. His skin groaned as it tore as easily as if it were paper. Next were the muscles, which were able to stretch farther before ripping apart with a sickening squelch. Jeongguk sobbed, dropping to his knees as the beautiful wings were torn from his Taehyung’s body. The bones were the worst - the ligaments attaching them to his shoulder blades refused to break at first. Taehyung arched his spine, eyes rolling to the back of his skull, as a broken scream echoed out of his hollow chest. Once the bones were free, though, the rest of the muscles and tendons quickly snapped apart with a spray of dark blood. Bile rose in Jeongguk’s throat at the sight and he gagged, tears burning his eyes._

_And then it was done. The two beings held the limp wings, almost bored, as the circle watched Taehyung collapse forward onto his bare chest, twitching. His head was turned towards Jeongguk, but his eyes were as blank as a statue’s. The being from before - Raphael - stepped forward and said calmly, “Kim Taehyung, you are hereby banished from heaven to live out your life on Earth. You will not die at the hand of any human, nor will you die by your own hand, but rest assured, you will die.” Raphael turned away, “Throw him down.”_

_Taehyung didn’t react as the two beings dropped his wings and unlatched his wrists and ankles. He let them pull him to his feet, limp as they yanked him up. Jeongguk stumbled forward, reaching out to his hyung, “Leave him alone!”_

Taehyung squeezed his eyes shut, struggling to keep the image clear. He didn’t expect Jeongguk to react so strongly, and he was having a hard time keeping his hands over the maknae’s eyes as the gentle boy jerked forward, almost ripping himself from Taehyung’s embrace. Jeongguk sobbed against him, his tears hot against Taehyung’s fingers. _It’s almost over, I promise._ Jeongguk released a helpless “please” that made Taehyung want to stop. But he couldn’t, and he knew that. Jeongguk wouldn’t forgive him if he did. 

_Jeongguk didn’t exist here, so his voice was lost to the void as the two beings dragged Taehyung to the edge of a cliff. The rest of the beings followed, gliding rather than walking. Jeongguk sobbed freely and, his legs too weak to hold him upright, sunk to his knees. “Taehyung,” he begged in a broken voice._

_Raphael rested a hand on Taehyung’s shoulder and the boy screamed when he touched one of his wounds. Fury rose in Jeongguk’s throat, inhuman and scorching, as Raphael hissed, “May your fall be long.”_

_The beings behind Raphael echoed his words and the two holding Taehyung shoved him unceremoniously over the cliff. Jeongguk lunged forward, collapsing at the edge of the abyss to watch his Taehyung be swallowed by the darkness below._

“Jeongguk,” Taehyung whispered, taking his hands from over the maknae’s eyes.

Jeongguk blinked, his vision blurred, and he turned to face Taehyung. He had sunken to the floor and Taehyung had followed him down so they were both on their knees. Jeongguk released a hollow sob and threw his arms around Taehyung’s neck, pressing their foreheads together. “I’ll kill them,” Jeongguk snarled. “Raphael? I’ll fucking kill him.”

Taehyung carded his fingers through Jeongguk’s hair. “You can’t do that, jagi. They can’t die.”

Jeongguk clutched fiercely at Taehyung’s shoulders. “Well I’ll find a fucking way.”

Taehyung straightened, cooing, “My brave baby boy. So fearsome, so beautiful.”

Jeongguk twined his fingers in Taehyung’s hair, tears still burning down his cheeks. Taehyung wiped at them with his thumb, smiling, as Jeongguk sniffed, “I fucking hate them. They all deserve to die.”

“No, they don’t,” Taehyung murmured gently. “I broke the rules, jagi.”

“That doesn’t mean they get to rip a part of your body off!” Jeongguk snapped.

Taehyung shrugged, his eyes never wavering from Jeongguk’s. “I know it’s barbaric. I was as angry as you are.”

“What changed?” 

“I met you,” Taehyung said, stroking Jeongguk’s hair. “First in my dream, and then in real life. You made me happy. You distracted me. Don’t be angry, sweet boy.” He hesitated, then, “Can we wake up? There’s something I want to tell you, but I want it to be real. Not just in our minds.”

Jeongguk nodded, still sniffling, and Taehyung pressed their foreheads together. 

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

When Jeongguk opened his eyes, he had to blink a few times to grow accustomed to the darkness. He then looked up at Taehyung, whose arms were wrapped around him protectively. The older boy opened his mouth, but Jeongguk spoke first, “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to protect me. I should be the one holding you right now. I’m so useless.”

Taehyung shook his head, “Don’t say that, jagi. You can’t even begin to understand all that you’ve done for me.” He hesitated, but then asked, “Did you figure it out?”

Hearing the nickname in the real world, not just in his dream, made Jeongguk blush. He propped himself up on his elbow, looking down at Taehyung with brows furrowed. “I feel stupid saying it out loud. I’m sorry, but it sounds ridiculous.”

“You don’t have to say it,” Taehyung immediately responded. “So long as you figured it out yourself. I don’t think it’s against the rules if you figure it out.”

So instead of answering the question, Jeongguk ran a finger down Taehyung’s clothed chest. “What rule did you break? To have them...you know.”

Taehyung frowned, “I didn’t want to die.”

Jeongguk felt his eyebrows shoot skyward. He didn’t know what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t that. “What?”

“My kind - that is, what I used to be - we - _they_ \- aren’t immortal,” Taehyung shrugged. “I didn’t like that.”

This was dangerous territory, Jeongguk knew. Taehyung was trying to be open, but his eyes were still guarded. Forcing down his swelling curiosity, Jeongguk said, “Okay.”

Taehyung smiled, understanding that Jeongguk was fighting every urge to ask a million questions, and said, “I wanted to say this here. I wanted it to be real.” He inhaled deeply, then murmured, “I love you, Jeon Jeongguk. A lot.”

Jeongguk lowered himself down and nuzzled into Taehyung’s chest, “I love you too, hyung.” Then, “What now?”

He had never imagined that his hyung would reciprocate his feelings. Taehyung hummed, “I think we better focus on the group right now. I’m debuting in two days, so we’re going to be really busy. Once we figure everything out as a group, then you and I can work on our own relationship.”

It was the responsible thing to do, but Jeongguk was still disappointed. Taehyung kissed him, his lips soft, and whispered, “Don’t worry, Kookie. I’m yours. We still have our dreams.”

“I don’t want it to just be in our dreams,” Jeongguk admitted.

“Me neither,” Taehyung promised. “But know that even though it’s not really me physically, it’s still me. Can you be satisfied with that for now?”

Jeongguk nodded meekly. “Yes, hyung.”

Taehyung nodded back, “Good. Now close your eyes, jagi, so I can kiss you without feeling guilty about taking away your sleep.”

Jeongguk obeyed, squeezing his eyes shut and letting Taehyung lull him back to sleep. It wasn’t perfect - he was still so curious, so confused, so apprehensive - but it was good enough for now.


	12. Chapter 12

The following days were a whirlwind of activity. Taehyung was the center of the staff’s attention as his hair, skin, and diet were perfected so that he could be the ideal visual when his pictures were released. Cameras followed the group even more than they usually did because here was BTS, the group that had been struggling for years to find its final element, complete at last. Jeongguk, always a fan of taking pictures, found a muse in Taehyung. At the boy’s solo photo shoots, Jeongguk made sure to capture his own masterpieces - ones just for his eyes, ones to view in the future with a flushed smile because Taehyung was nearly his (he often forgot, and he often felt a stab of fear that that night really had been all a dream). The curve of his spine as he swiveled his head and curled his hips was intoxicating, and it would be a crime to not imprint it to memory. 

When Taehyung first caught his dongsaeng with the camera, he laughed. “Are you a part of the staff now, Kookie? I didn’t realize I was replacing you in the group!”

Jeongguk laughed back, and it was easy and light and bubbled out of his body like a fountain. “I like taking pictures.”

“Of me?” Taehyung asked, and the real photographers at the session were quick to capture his twinkling grin. 

“Of many things, hyung,” Jeongguk responded, biting his lip in concentration. “But yes, of you.”

Taehyung’s tongue poked itself out of hiding, wetting his lips, and he tilted his head to smirk at the photo shoot cameras. Jeongguk squatted, stabilizing himself on a box of gear, and chewed on the inside of his cheek. 

When the primary solo shoot was done and Jeongguk was getting his makeup done for the group shoot, Taehyung wandered over to him and ran an affectionate hand through his hair. “Such a cutie, Jeonggukie.” 

Jeongguk waited for the staff nuna to turn away before swatting Taehyung’s hand. “I already had my hair fixed, hyung! I’m going to have to go back if you don’t stop.” 

Taehyung proceeded to make a game of picking at parts of the maknae’s hair whenever the staff nuna was working so that Jeongguk couldn’t do much about it, leaping away whenever Jeongguk was free to attack. Hoseok and Jimin thought it was a hilarious game and decided to join in until Jeongguk was able to slap Hoseok’s butt hard enough to be rewarded with an indignant squeak. In the end, Jeongguk fixed his hair by himself and then playfully kicked the back of Taehyung’s thigh, laughing as he melodramatically collapsed to the floor. (“Why must you abuse me, Kookie? I thought I was your hyung!”) 

And though technically they weren’t a couple yet, Jeongguk felt so incredibly at ease. Jealousy still overtook him whenever Yoongi hung his arms around Taehyung in a rare moment of skinship, or whenever Taehyung asked Jimin to help pull a prank on the hyungs instead of Jeongguk, or whenever Seokjin hugged Taehyung from behind - but it felt a little more justified because Taehyung was nearly _his_ , and it gave Jeongguk an excuse to tackle him because if they couldn’t be truly, _truly_ intimate together, why was he allowed to be intimate with others? It was childish and immature, but Taehyung rewarded his jealousy with extra attention, so he didn’t care to stop.

In the group photo shoot, when Namjoon stood with his arm around Taehyung and Taehyung sat on the platform with his ankles on either side of Jimin on the floor, unknowingly boxing Jeongguk out of his space, Jeongguk could give the cameras the “smoldering” look that the photographers were asking for (it looked more like a scowl, but ARMY loved the way his nose crinkled, so it was okay). Then, when they were told to change positions and Jeongguk immediately launched himself into Taehyung’s lap, the photographers got to capture Taehyung’s purest grin - the kind that in that moment felt like it was made especially for Jeongguk, that was filled with nothing but joy and affection. And Jeongguk got to have Taehyung’s fingers tug on his ear, grazing its shell in a new way that made his heart stutter, until it was time to move again. 

Jeongguk had never had anything like what he had with Taehyung, and he imagined no one else really did either. He got to experience two sides of the boy - one that the physical world got to see, and one that normally lay deep in a person’s subconscious mind, only to appear in their dreams. Taehyung received the same insight into Jeongguk, and it made them both so open and raw to the other that they couldn’t always stand it. Taehyung had always known that their dream meetings were real, so he was better at hiding his reactions when Jeongguk did something in the real world that reflected his subconscious self that Taehyung knew on a deeply personal level. But Jeongguk struggled to keep his breathing normal whenever Taehyung gave the cameras the weary smile that reflected the memories he mourned in his dreams. He fought to keep his arms at his sides whenever one of the hyungs touched Taehyung’s back too close to the wounds that were healing too slowly because of all the movement their lifestyle required of him.

“You should rest, hyung, at least for a few days,” Jeongguk said one night in their shared room long after the other members had gone to bed, watching helplessly as Taehyung struggled to get his shirt off. 

The older boy keeled forward, gagging as a wave of pain overtook him. He didn’t have to act like everything was okay in their room - it was their palace, safe and warm, and he could hiss and flinch and cry as much as he wanted. Jeongguk immediately slid to his feet and gripped his shoulders. Taehyung remained a statue for a few minutes and Jeongguk rubbed the small of his back, trying to distract him. Then, he came alive again and gasped, “Can you help me get it unstuck?”

_Unstuck?_

Jeongguk nodded and coaxed the shirt up. He wrinkled his nose as he discovered the problem. Clots of new blood glued the fabric to Taehyung’s back, dripping in streaks down his skin. He directed Taehyung to sit down and, once he did, braced his arms to pull. Taehyung gasped as Jeongguk coaxed the shirt off of him. “Thank you, jagi.”

“Hyung,” Jeongguk mumbled.

Taehyung blinked at him, “Hmm?”

“I know you don’t want me touching them,” Jeongguk began.

“Right,” Taehyung cut him off, his face unreadable.

Jeongguk pressed on, “But I’m really worried. I don’t know how you haven’t gotten an infection yet, but if that does happen, you’ll need to go to the hospital. How are you planning on explaining two holes in your back?” 

Taehyung stiffened as Jeongguk rubbed his thumbs into his shoulder muscles. “What are you saying?”

Jeongguk squirmed. How could he put it into words? “Can I - that is, if you’re alright with it - can I, maybe, um.” Jeongguk mentally shook himself for his sudden shyness. This was important - this was a matter of health. He needed to pull his head of his ass. “Taehyung-ssi, I’m going to clean these and bandage them, and it’ll be a hell of a lot easier if you just let me because we both know I’m stronger than you and I swear to god, I’m not afraid to tie you to the bed.”

Taehyung was quiet for a long moment. Jeongguk feared that he was going to shut down, to curl in on himself and never come out. But even if he never forgave him, Jeongguk knew he had to do _something_.

It was equally relieving as it was shocking when Taehyung finally murmured, “Okay, Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk blinked at him. Right. Okay. He straightened and robotically left the room, trying to remember everything he learned in that one first aid course he took a few years ago. How did you treat a wound this old? More pressingly, how did you treat a wound on someone who wasn’t entirely human? Jeongguk imagined googling, “aftercare for having wings ripped out of your back.”

Taehyung looked up at him when Jeongguk returned, eyeing the supplies in his arms. “They won’t get infected,” he suddenly said. “They won’t heal unless cared for, but they won’t ever kill me.”

Jeongguk raised his eyebrows, “Is that common angel knowledge?”

He’d never said the word aloud before, and he shuddered at its implications. Taehyung bit his lip, “Raphael told me that. He never lied to me.”

Jeongguk had wondered at the exact dynamics between Taehyung and the archangel (he had done a little research - there wasn’t much information available online, but he found enough to piece together a rough hypothesis). The way Raphael had caressed his face before ordering the other angels to rip out his wings stuck in Jeongguk’s brain even when he tried to shake it away.

And since this was apparently a night of walking the line between stupid and brave, Jeongguk blurted, “Were you together?”

Taehyung paused. He worked his jaw for a moment, mulling over a response, before saying, “Not exactly.” 

Jeongguk had known that he wouldn’t receive an honest response that he liked, but the one he did receive sounded like a cop out. “Can you elaborate?”

“Can you stop stalling and clean me off?” Taehyung retorted. When Jeongguk bristled, Taehyung sighed and turned back to him. “I’m sorry, Kookie, that was uncalled for. I’m just a bit scared to have them touched since...since then.”

Jeongguk didn’t move though. It was selfish and cruel, but he continued to press, “What do you mean, you weren’t exactly together?”

Taehyung sighed heavily, “Jesus, Jeongguk, is this a necessary conversation? It’s not like I’ll ever see him again.”

Jeongguk was sure that he wasn’t imagining the faint hint of hurt in the boy’s voice. He stuck his tongue in his cheek irritably and roughly pushed Taehyung’s shoulder. “Turn around. The water’s cold now.”

Taehyung obeyed silently. Jeongguk scrubbed at his back, avoiding the wounds for the time being, and the older boy sucked in a breath at the freezing cloth. “Aish, Jeongguk, be gentler.”

“This isn’t working,” Jeongguk quipped in lieu of a proper response. 

“Are you mad at me, Jeonggukie?” Taehyung asked, his voice little more than a whimper. 

Heat crawled up Jeongguk’s neck. God, he was a horrible person. This was supposed to be about taking care of Taehyung, not punishing him for his past. For Christ’s sake, Taehyung didn’t even know Jeongguk existed at the time, and vice versa. “No, hyung,” Jeongguk sighed. “I just...what _happened_ between you two? I don’t need to know about your relationship, that’s really none of my business, and I’m sorry.”

Taehyung bowed his head, “We were...different.”

“He was an archangel,” Jeongguk said confidently.

Taehyung smiled, but it was small, “Yes, jagi. Do you know what I was?”

Jeongguk hesitated. He had found different sources on the rankings of angels, but very few of them actually agreed on facts. “What was your job?”

Taehyung hesitated. “I need to be careful here, Jeongguk. I can’t give you anymore hints.”

Jeongguk chewed the inside of his cheek. “You weren’t an archangel. You were in a lower rank than them.” He looked to Taehyung for a sign, but didn’t receive anything except a patient smile. “Okay, so, maybe you were a guardian? I don’t think you were a messenger. I just can’t see it. But you care enough about others that I think you would have been a good guardian angel.”

Taehyung was silent for so long that Jeongguk was sure he’d gotten it all wrong. Then, he breathed a shaky laugh and shook his head, “Jeon Jeongguk, my genius baby boy. How did you only get a four out of a hundred on a test?”

“It was for English,” Jeongguk offered squeamishly. 

An easy laugh escaped Taehyung’s lips and he turned around to press a kiss to Jeongguk’s cheek. “Well, you’re right. I could never be a messenger. Too much running around only to have your words ignored because no one believes in angels anymore. But a guardian, ah!” His eyes twinkled, “Yeah, I was good at that.”

Jeongguk felt warm at the pride in Taehyung’s smile. He longed to ask what had changed, why he had fallen, but that could wait. Right now, Taehyung was happy again and Jeongguk still had to clean his wounds. He cleared his throat, “Would you be open to a bath?”

Taehyung froze, his eyes snapping to Jeongguk’s. “What?”

Jeongguk scratched fiercely at the back of his neck. “You heard me.”

“ _Why?_ ”

Jeongguk blew an irritated breath out through his clenched teeth. “Because, hyung, you’re pretty much drenched and I don’t want to have to explain why fifty washcloths are covered in blood.”

“Would it take fifty?” Taehyung asked, widening his eyes.

“No, hyung,” Jeongguk grumbled. “But you know what I mean.”

“Um,” Taehyung swallowed and Jeongguk watched, entranced, as his Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat. “Okay, sure.”

Jeongguk wet his lips, suddenly feeling incredibly awkward, “Okay, cool. I mean, it’s not like it’s weird or anything. I’ve showered with all of the other hyungs at least once by now.”

However, he’d never been turned on by the thought of his hyungs naked. He decided not to share that tidbit, though.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FLUFF. SO MUCH FLUFF.

Jeongguk was shaking so badly that it took a few tries to turn on the water. He waited for it to get warm and then chewed the inside of his cheek. Would Taehyung want it hot? Lukewarm? Cold? Jeongguk mulled it over, but his nerves were running out of time and so he went with his gut, settling for warm but not steaming. The dorm’s bathroom didn’t have the proper soap to make a bubble bath, considering Jeongguk could count on one hand how often any of them actually had the time and energy to take one, but he figured Taehyung wouldn’t mind the water being clear. 

Clear. Clear enough to see every inch of his legs, his hips, his -

Fuck, Jeongguk was not prepared for this. He turned the water off and dropped his head into his hands, trying remember how to breathe. What was wrong with him? It’s not like he’d never seen...that...before. He’d seen at least five apart from his own just by showering with his hyungs. Why was he freaking out about seeing Taehyung’s? 

He forced himself to his feet and shuffled across the hall. He peeked into the bedroom and cleared his throat, “Ready?”

Taehyung made a small noncommittal noise, pushing himself up. He winced and bent forward, and Jeongguk brought his hands up under the boy’s elbows to steady him. After spending the entire day putting on an Oscar-worthy performance, Taehyung’s body was punishing him with hell. The fresh blood plastered to his back glinted in the dim light. Taehyung clenched his jaw and looked up at Jeongguk, nodding stiffly. The maknae dropped his hands and stepped back, watching the older boy pull himself upright. 

Jeongguk led him across the hall and shut the bathroom door behind them. Taehyung’s breath was coming in shallow gasps, but Jeongguk didn’t know if it was because he was in pain or because he was as nervous as him. Swallowing, Jeongguk asked, “Do - that is, uh - can I - do you, I mean, your - clothes.”

Taehyung let out a shaky laugh, rubbing a hand down his face. “I got it, thanks.”

Jeongguk nodded and sat on the lid of the toilet, looking anywhere but Taehyung as he unbuttoned his jeans. He shimmied them off his hips, but lost his balance and had to grip Jeongguk’s shoulder in order to get them unhooked from his ankles. He hesitated once his boxers were all that was left, and Jeongguk could feel those dark eyes boring holes in his head. He didn’t look up though, afraid of what his face would show if he did. Taehyung tightened his grip on the maknae’s shoulder and eased off his boxers with his free hand. Jeongguk’s breath caught in his throat - he hadn’t looked, but perverted curiosity was burning through his veins. 

Taehyung gingerly stepped into the tub. The water sloshed against his calves as he lowered himself down. He pulled his knees to his chest and released a deep sigh, glancing at Jeongguk. The maknae swallowed and eased himself to his knees by the tub, facing Taehyung’s back. The water was already tinged red as Jeongguk rested a hand on Taehyung’s shoulder. He was trembling, and for some reason it made Jeongguk a little braver that his hyung was just as scared as he was. Taehyung whispered in a voice hardly louder than a breath, “You don’t have to do this.”

Jeongguk leaned forward and pressed a kiss into the back of Taehyung’s neck, inhaling the scent of his hair. Taehyung shuddered and Jeongguk said, “I want to take care of you. Is the temperature okay?”

Taehyung nodded slowly and Jeongguk pulled back, taking a washcloth and dipping it in the water. He then held it over Taehyung’s shoulder and wrung it out, watching the water mix with the blood and wash it into the bath. Taehyung’s breath hitched as Jeongguk dunked the cloth again and repeated his actions on the other side, nothing but the sound of dripping water and their collective breathing echoing in the bathroom. Once the excess blood was washed from his skin, Jeongguk dropped his hands into the dark red water. Here came the hard part. “I have to touch them now.”

Taehyung exhaled heavily, “I know, jagi.”

Jeongguk wetted his lips and brought the cloth up to the left wound. He pressed gently against the edge of it, reading Taehyung’s reaction. The older boy stiffened, rolling his shoulders forward. His knuckles were white as he gripped his knees, as if he was fighting the urge to run. Jeongguk gently patted the blood from the first wound and then moved to the second, gently working until as much of it was cleaned off as possible. Taehyung was a statue, and if he was breathing, Jeongguk couldn’t feel it. Jeongguk looped his arm around the frozen boy and pulled the plug on the tub. They watched silently as the crimson water disappeared down the drain. Jeongguk lifted Taehyung to his feet, eyes avoiding his soft naked form, and helped him step out. Taehyun was shivering - whether from the chill, the trauma, or a mixture of both was anyone’s guess - and Jeongguk wrapped a towel around him. The maknae pat-dried Taehyung’s wounds and then gave him the towel to finish by himself. Taehyung then tugged his boxers on but left his jeans in a sprawling pile on the floor. At this point, why did either of them still care so much that he was naked? When he was done, Jeongguk whispered, “Can you sit?”

Taehyung silently obeyed, lowering himself onto the toilet seat. Jeongguk rummaged around in the cupboard until he found the first aid kit. He pulled out antiseptic wipes and met Taehyung’s eyes for the first time since they entered the bathroom. “I need to sterilize your wounds as much as I can before I bandage them.”

Taehyung nodded, eyes wide, and Jeongguk pressed the damp wipe to one of the wounds. Taehyung sucked in a hollow breath, but he didn’t pull away. Jeongguk breathed an apology that the boy didn’t react to and hurried to finish his task. When he was satisfied and dropped his hands, Taehyung released a shaky breath, “Are you almost done?”

The defeat in his voice broke Jeongguk’s heart. “Yes, hyung.”

Taehyung dropped his chin and Jeongguk pulled out gauze and medical tape. He worked his jaw nervously. It had to be tight enough to actually work but loose enough that he could freely move. “Let me know how this feels.”

The boy had become frozen again, though, so Jeongguk didn’t know if he even heard. Chewing his lip, Jeongguk pressed the folded gauze to Taehyung’s wound and ripped off a long piece of the medical tape. He moved along to plaster each edge, making sure that water and debris wouldn’t find their way inside. Stepping back to survey his work, he almost laughed at how haphazard it was. It wasn’t bulky, though, and it was smooth down his back, so Taehyung would be able to wear a t-shirt over it and the hyungs shouldn’t see it. Satisfied, Jeongguk did the other side. 

Taehyung didn’t move throughout the entire process, his entire body rigid and defensive. When finished, Jeongguk waited to see if he would come alive by himself, but grew antsy after a few minutes. “Hyung? It’s done.”

With that, Taehyung inhaled and sat upright. He rocked his shoulders experimentally. “That feels fine, Kookie,” he said. “You did a good job.”

“Are you sure?” Jeongguk asked. “You have to sleep with it, remember?”

Taehyung snorted, slowly returning to himself. “Yeah, I remember that sleep is a thing.” His eyebrows came together, “A thing you should be getting right now.”

“And you,” Jeongguk pointed out. “It’s fine, I’m used to not sleeping.”

Taehyung started at him. “You’re…” he considered for a moment, “impossible.”

Jeongguk grinned at that and helped Taehyung to his feet. “I think you like that about me.”

Taehyung rolled his eyes but then relented, “Yeah, probably.” 

And then his lips were on Jeongguk’s right there in the middle of the bathroom, right there when all he had on was his underwear, and Jeongguk could feel every molecule in his body sing. 

When his hyung pulled away, Jeongguk murmured, “Go get ready for bed. I’m going to clean up.”

Taehyung nodded and slipped out of the bathroom to get his pajamas from their bedroom. Meanwhile, Jeongguk went out to the kitchen, rummaging around in the cupboards for the cleaning supplies. Once he found them, he grabbed bleach, gloves, and a rag. When he entered the bathroom, Taehyung had returned in one of Jeongguk’s white t-shirts - it swamped Jeongguk, so Taehyung was drowning in it - and was brushing his teeth. The maknae swallowed at the sight - Taehyung was only wearing his boxers underneath, so his toned thighs peeked sinfully out from beneath the hem of the t-shirt. Taehyung glanced at him and paused his brushing to say sheepishly, “Sorry. I figured you wouldn’t mind if I borrowed this, but if I was wrong I’ll go change.”

Jeongguk somehow managed to breathe, “Why?”

“I guess,” Taehyung squirmed, pulling his toothbrush out of his mouth. “I don’t know, it’s kind of hard to explain, but I guess I just needed a safety blanket after...that.” He jerked his chin in the direction of the tub. “Does that make sense?” 

A safety blanket. Jeongguk’s t-shirt was Taehyung’s safety blanket. Something about that just filled the maknae with the purest love he’d ever known, and he stepped closer to press a kiss against Taehyung’s temple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is the one we’ve all been waiting for, if you catch my drift   
> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	14. Chapter 14

After the tub was as sterilized as it could be without lighting it on fire, Jeongguk led Taehyung back to their room and directed him to sit down. “I’m going to go clean up and get ready for bed. Are you okay in here?”

Taehyung nodded. He was returning to his usual happy self, so he offered a small smile, “I’ll be fine, Kookie, thank you.” Then, “For everything.”

Something in the air changed when their eyes met. Something good, but something indescribable. Jeongguk shook himself and grabbed some clothes before heading across the hall to the bathroom. He had to force himself to slow down and spend a full three minutes brushing his teeth, and then had to convince himself that yes, washing his face _was_ an unskippable part of bedtime. He couldn’t explain it, but he was antsy to return to Taehyung. He yanked on his sweatpants so hard that he almost fell over, and then tangled himself in his t-shirt fighting to pull it on as quickly as possible. 

Finally finished, Jeongguk practically ran back to the bedroom. When he burst inside, chest heaving and hair wild, Taehyung straightened and their eyes locked. There was an otherworldly determination in his gaze as he beckoned Jeongguk to him. The maknae obeyed, floating until his knees were pressed against the edge of the bed. Taehyung scooted forward, eyes still trained on Jeongguk’s, until his legs were on either side of the maknae. Those dark orbs were wide and filled with both trepidation and want, and they flicked to watch as Jeongguk bit his lip. 

And then Taehyung’s delicate fingers came up to hover over the waistband of Jeongguk’s sweatpants, a wordless question that held the weight of mountains. But even though Jeongguk had fantasized about him for over a month, he shook his head. “Taehyung-ssi, I - that is, you - I know I, well, uh, and that we, but -“ he chewed the inside of his cheek, hyper aware that Taehyung’s hand hadn’t moved. “I didn’t do -“ he reached to brush the back of Taehyung’s shirt, vaguely gesturing to the bandages, “for...this.” 

“I know,” Taehyung sighed heavily, dropping his eyes and resting his hand against Jeongguk’s stomach, and the maknae could feel his warmth through his t-shirt. “But I want to, jagi. I - I always have, but I wanted you to know me. Who - what - and I wanted to make sure…” he flexed his thighs around the maknae, “I couldn’t handle - I needed to know that you - but you really do love me, which I never expected, and that means I can - that is, if you still want to - I want to -“

“Hyung,” Jeongguk breathed. 

Taehyung met his eyes and found his answer in their depths. He nodded, sucking in a breath, and looked down again at Jeongguk’s pants. Instead of tugging them off, though, he used Jeongguk’s shoulder to push himself up onto his knees on the bed. He slid his hands into Jeongguk’s hair and pulled him forward to kiss his lips, gentle and nervous, and Jeongguk knew that he was asking if this was okay, if this was wanted. The maknae brought his hands up to hook around Taehyung’s neck and the older boy groaned and slid his hands up the back of Jeongguk’s shirt. The maknae shuddered, already coming undone, and gave Taehyung’s hair an experimental tug. The elder bit Jeongguk’s bottom lip, probing it with his tongue, and Jeongguk knew that the boy had found his usual confidence once again. Jeongguk melted against him, sighing as he bent to press a kiss into Jeongguk’s neck. “H-hyung…”

“Yes, Kookie?” Taehyung growled. 

Jeongguk didn’t know what he was going to say, though, and so he settled for releasing a quiet moan as Taehyung gently pulled his shirt off his body. This was the first time Jeongguk had been anywhere near naked in front of him, and he suddenly felt immensely self-conscious. He squirmed, bringing his arms up over his chest, but Taehyung shook his head fiercely, “Don’t do that, jagi. Let me look at you.”

Jeongguk dropped his eyes and let his arms uncross. Taehyung’s gaze swept over his body and he murmured, “Such a beautiful boy,” before swooping down to press his lips to Jeongguk’s collarbone. He swirled his tongue against the maknae’s skin, earning a loud mewl. “Shh, jagi,” he giggled, lifting away briefly, “we don’t want the hyungs to hear.”

“Right,” Jeongguk automatically responded, twining his fingers in Taehyung’s hair to tug him back to his throat. 

The older boy giggled again and pressed his lips into the sweet spot where Jeongguk’s neck met his shoulder, earning a high-pitched whine. “Kookie,” he warned. 

“I’m s-sorry, hyung,” Jeongguk gasped as Taehyung leaned back to pull his own shirt off. 

Though Jeongguk had seen him shirtless countless times, he’d never taken the time to fully appreciate his beauty. It had never seemed appropriate before. So now he was the one who stopped their make out session to stare at his lover. Taehyung wasn’t muscular like Jeongguk, but his tummy curved softly down until his skin disappeared beneath his boxers and that was honestly sexier than muscle to the maknae. Jeongguk’s eyes devoured every inch of him, relishing in the gentle slopes of his shoulders, the illegal curves of his sides, and the gorgeous V that the thin layer of muscle on his abdomen created. That last feature guided Jeongguk’s eyes down farther, down to his dark boxers, and the maknae blushed fiercely. Taehyung took Jeongguk’s face in his strong, gentle hands and bade him to meet his eyes. He pressed his lips firmly against the maknae’s, no longer as a question but as a statement. Jeongguk hardly noticed when Taehyung’s hands dropped to the hem of his sweatpants and tugged them down, but when all of his remaining clothes were suddenly pooled around his ankles, fear gripped his throat and he pulled away. Taehyung sat back on his heels, waiting, his eyes never wavering from Jeongguk’s face. His expression said everything that words couldn’t. It promised that it was okay if Jeongguk wasn’t ready, if he actually didn’t want to, if he never wanted to. If he was unsure or scared. If he didn’t know exactly what he wanted, or if he did but he just wasn’t sure how to get it. Not once did he look down past Jeongguk’s torso, which eased the maknae’s fear more than anything else. 

As if it would fix everything, Jeongguk suddenly blurted, “I’m a virgin.”

Taehyung’s eyebrows shot skyward. “Okay?”

Jeongguk squirmed. He didn’t know how he thought the boy would react, but he hadn’t expected to receive _no_ reaction. Finally, he breathed, “Okay.” 

He let Taehyung pull him back to his side and then down onto the bed. The older boy hovered over him for a moment, silently asking if this was still alright, before leaning down to kiss him. Heat pooled in Jeongguk’s stomach and he tangled his fingers in Taehyung’s hair, releasing soft moans as the older boy’s tongue found its way between his lips. He could feel his member growing, pressing against Taehyung’s thigh, and he gingerly lifted his hips to find some sort of friction. Taehyung tsked his tongue against the maknae’s lips and lifted himself up, nothing but mischief in his eyes. “Are you being impatient, Kookie?” 

“Ye-es,” Jeongguk moaned, squeezing his eyes shut. 

After releasing a dark chuckle, Taehyung lifted himself off the maknae. Jeongguk opened his eyes just in time to see Taehyung remove his boxers, and he couldn’t help dropping his jaw at the sight of him. Taehyung laughed and playfully tapped under his chin, coaxing his mouth shut. “I thought that only happened in movies.”

“What movies do you watch?” Jeongguk managed to quip, his face on fire. 

Taehyung “ _aww_ ”ed and moved up to kiss Jeongguk’s flushed cheek before lowering himself back down, dangerously close to Jeongguk’s member. Jeongguk lifted himself up onto his elbows to watch his hyung, the tension between his hips growing unbearable. Taehyung must have read the maknae’s mind because he glanced up into his wide eyes. “Is this okay, Kookie?”

“Fuck,” was all Jeongguk managed to say. 

Taehyung smiled before lowering his head again. And then there was something warm and wet around Jeongguk, and he came off the bed with a gasp. Taehyung hummed and it vibrated sinfully. Explosions were popping off in Jeongguk’s brain and his nerves were unwinding at breakneck speed. He dropped his hand down to grip Taehyung’s shoulder, terrified that he was about to embarrass himself by reaching his climax before Taehyung had really done anything at all. The older boy giggled against him before releasing him with a _pop_. Jeongguk’s entire body shuddered. 

“You weren’t kidding, Kookie,” Taehyung laughed, wiping his thumb across his lips. “You’re the definition of ‘virgin.’”

“F-fuck off,” Jeongguk stuttered. 

Taehyung shrugged and pressed a kiss to his hip before pushing himself off the bed. Jeongguk mewled indignantly and lifted his head to watch what the older boy was doing. He rummaged around by his unused bed, allowing Jeongguk to openly gawk at his ass. When he found what he was looking for, he hummed victoriously and returned to Jeongguk’s side. “Top or bottom?”

Jeongguk opened and closed his mouth, confused. Finally, he settled for, “What?”

Taehyung rolled his eyes and muttered, “For fuck’s sake.” Then, a little louder, he asked, “Do you want me to ride you or fuck you?” 

_Oh._ Excited trepidation rose in the maknae’s stomach and he worked his jaw. “What do you -“

“Stop,” Taehyung ordered. “It doesn’t matter what I want. Our first time is going to happen the right way.” 

Jeongguk briefly wondered what “the right way” was, but decided that was a conversation for another time. He tried to imagine flipping Taehyung down onto the bed and ravishing him, but it didn’t do for him what the other option did. He cleared his throat and, mustering as much courage as he could, whispered, “Bottom.”

Taehyung grinned and bent down to kiss the maknae. Jeongguk gasped against him, vaguely feeling himself pulsate, as Taehyung revealed that the object in his hand was a little bottle of lube. Now it was Jeongguk’s turn to raise his eyebrows, “Did that come from your old home?”

Taehyung snorted, “No.”

“Then you’re pretty confident.”

“Need I remind you that you tried to fuck me the first time we kissed?” Taehyung giggled, “This was a precautionary purchase.”

Jeongguk bit his lip and lay back against the pillows. Taehyung suddenly sunk his teeth into Jeongguk’s shoulder, earning a small noise. The maknae watched as he then sat up, knees on either side of the maknae’s hips, and squeezed a generous amount of lube on his fingertips. He rubbed it down the length of his fingers and glanced at Jeongguk, back again with the silent questions. Jeongguk nodded, his heart palpitating, and Taehyung shifted off of him. He nudged the maknae’s knees apart and as soon as Jeongguk obeyed, there was something inside him that burned. He threw his head back, not entirely sure how to process the sensation. It hurt, yes, but then just as quickly as it hurt, it felt good and everything was okay, and he was, surprisingly, happy when Taehyung added a second finger. “Hyung,” he breathed, closing his eyes and trying to keep his voice down.

“Jeongguk,” Taehyung groaned back, pressing a kiss to the maknae’s navel. 

And then light exploded behind the maknae’s eyelids and he arched his back, sucking in a breath. His eyes popped open and he registered the victorious expression on Taehyung’s face before it all became too much, too much, too much, and he had to sink his teeth into his fist to hide the loud moan that ripped from his throat. Taehyung was bending down to kiss him, warm and delicious, and Jeongguk was sighing his name, begging wordlessly. And then Taehyung pulled his fingers out and Jeongguk was left empty and squirming, but it was okay because Taehyung was preparing his member and then he was looking at Jeongguk for permission, his eyes asking _Is this okay? Do you want this?_

_Fuck._ Taehyung sat up and propped Jeongguk’s bare legs around his torso, locking him in place, and toyed with himself cautiously. “Jeongguk?”

“Taehyung,” Jeongguk moaned, too aware of every nerve in his body to worry about honorifics. 

Because they didn’t need anything more than that, Taehyung nodded and shuffled his knees forward, and then something was pressed against Jeongguk that was larger than Taehyung’s fingers, and even though the older boy’s member wasn’t of pornstar proportions, Jeongguk still felt a stab of fear. Taehyung noticed this change and froze, watching the maknae for permission, his member still pressed against him. Jeongguk forced himself to relax and nodded, squeezing his eyes shut. 

If Jeongguk thought Taehyung’s _fingers_ were incredible, he was very, very unprepared for his cock. The maknae whined at the initial burn, but it quickly dissolved into a moan as Taehyung’s pelvis became flush with his butt. He was aware of Taehyung’s voice mingling with his own, soft and high-pitched and enough to make Jeongguk release right there. He gripped Taehyung’s shoulder as a warning and the older boy waited. But then the need for movement became too much for the maknae and he rutted his hips helplessly, asking for what he was too shy to express in words. Taehyung moaned and started a slow pace, and it was all more than Jeongguk could handle but somehow still not enough, and he breathed, “Faster, hyung.” 

Taehyung obeyed, and Jeongguk must have been being too loud because then Taehyung’s lips pressed firmly against the maknae’s as he worked him to the edge. Suddenly, his hand was on Jeongguk’s member, tugging in time. And _fuck_ , it was too much and not enough and Jeongguk could feel tears in the backs of his eyes because it was just so, so _good_. 

“Can I - _fuck, Jeongguk_ \- can I - inside -“ Taehyung’s words died in his throat and he dropped his head down onto the maknae’s shoulder. 

“Y-yes,” Jeongguk groaned. And then there were the lights again, this time shooting off like fireworks throughout his entire body, and he gasped, “ _Taehyung._ ”

And then he was climaxing and chanting Taehyung’s name and the older boy’s hips were snapping into him faster until he was releasing too. Jeongguk’s mouth dropped open wide but he couldn’t form any sounds; he was as helpless as he was in his dreamscape again, back when he couldn’t speak, but this time it was okay because his breath was caught in his throat and the fireworks in his body were at their finale, giving no reprieve as they exploded one on top of the other. 

Just like that, it was over, and Taehyung collapsed beside him. The older boy carded his fingers through the maknae’s hair, but Jeongguk’s body was a thousand miles from his brain and he couldn't move. Taehyung sighed after a minute and lifted himself off the bed. Jeongguk reached for him, mewling, but Taehyung smiled and said patiently, “Stay here, jagi, I’ll be right back.” 

And then his boxers were on and he was out of the room, leaving Jeongguk to stare at the ceiling and contemplate the hollowness of his body. There was an ache now that Taehyung wasn’t inside him, but it was somehow good and more of a reminder than a burn. 

When Taehyung returned, he held a glass of water in one hand and a washcloth in the other. He helped Jeongguk prop himself up on the pillows and offered the glass. Jeongguk took a long swallow and then gasped as Taehyung suddenly rubbed the warm washcloth against his skin, wiping away the proof of their activities. He accidentally whined and Taehyung paused, “Are you too sensitive?” 

Jeongguk shook his head, blushing fiercely. “No, continue.”

Taehyung obeyed. He nudged Jeongguk’s knees apart and smiled to himself. “So beautiful,” he whispered, and his voice was low and rough. Jeongguk stiffened as the older boy pressed the cloth to his entrance, and Taehyung whispered, “I’m sorry baby, but we need to get you cleaned up. Tell me if it’s too much.” 

Jeongguk nodded and lay back, trying to relish in Taehyung’s care rather than be nervous. Once he was clean, Taehyung used the cloth on himself and then tossed it at Jeongguk’s hamper. It hit the rim and then fell on the floor, and Taehyung grumbled to himself before pushing off the bed and shuffling to pick it up. Jeongguk giggled breathily and Taehyung stuck his tongue out at him, “Don’t laugh at the man who just took you down to Hong Kong.”

“I swear to god, hyung,” Jeongguk groaned. 

And then Taehyung’s arms were around him and he was muttering something about them getting only two and a half hours of sleep at this point, but that didn’t matter to Jeongguk because he had never felt this good or this close to another person before. And when they met in their dreams, Taehyung wrapped his arms around Jeongguk and they sat silently, gazing into the whiteness of the dreamscape, happy to simply sit in the presence of the other.


	15. Chapter 15

“Good morning, jagiya,” Taehyung’s voice pulled Jeongguk out of his slumber. 

The maknae groaned, blinking, “What?”

Taehyung sat down on the edge of the bed, “How are you feeling?”

Jeongguk did an inventory of himself. “My ass hurts.”

Taehyung slapped a hand over his face, almost dropping the mug he held, and laughed. “Jesus, Kookie, sometimes you’re the shyest person I know, and then other times you say stuff like that.”

Still giggling, he offered the mug to Jeongguk. The maknae took it and the welcoming aroma of coffee met his nose. He inhaled deeply and took an experimental sip. It was sweet. Like, diabetes-in-a-cup sweet. Just the way he liked it. Taehyung watched, unable to hide his nervousness. Jeongguk nodded approvingly, “It’s good, hyung.”

Taehyung grinned again, “Good. I hate coffee, so I didn’t know how it’d taste. Hoseok-hyung helped me.” Jeongguk’s eyes widened and Taehyung burst out laughing once more, “Good lord, Kookie, he doesn’t _know_. At least, I don’t think he does. You were kind of loud, so if he does know, it’s not my fault.”

Jeongguk took another sip and decided to ignore his hyung’s taunts. “Thanks for...this. And, uh, yeah.”

“You're welcome,” Taehyung said. Then, he teased, “Thank _you_ for, uh, yeah.” After a moment, he added sheepishly, “Did you like it?”

“Did I like it,” Jeongguk parroted. “It was incredible. When can we do that again?”

Taehyung chuckled, “You’re in rare form this morning.”

Jeongguk shrugged. His blood was singing in his veins and everything was unquestionably right. Of course he was in rare form. He took a sip of his coffee and said, “I love you.”

A boxy grin spread across Taehyung’s face, “I love you too, Kookie.” Then, “And to answer your question, we can do that everyday if you want.”

Jeongguk blushed at the thought of receiving complete bliss everyday for the rest of his life. “That sounds awesome.”

Taehyung laughed, and it was filled with so much joy that Jeongguk couldn’t help but join in. Then, the maknae sobered and asked, “Was it alright for you?”

The older boy raised his eyebrows and promised, “It was so much more than that.”

Jeongguk nodded, “Good.”

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Taehyung stood up and shouted, “Yeah?”

“You guys need to hurry up, you’re the last ones that need to use the shower,” Namjoon called from the other side of the door.

Jeongguk set his mug down on his nightstand and groaned. He threw himself back on the bed and Taehyung tapped his thigh, “Come on, Kookie, you have to rebandage me anyway.” Then, a little louder to Namjoon, “We’re coming, hyung.”

Namjoon snorted loud enough for them to hear and shuffled off. 

With a sigh, Jeongguk swallowed the rest of his coffee and Taehyung grabbed them some clothes. They then wandered sleepily out across the hall and into the bathroom. Nervousness danced through Jeongguk’s chest as Taehyung pulled his t-shirt and boxers off. The elder raised his eyebrows, “What’s wrong, jagi?”

Jeongguk shook his head, “I’m just...a little…” 

The maknae squirmed and Taehyung grinned mischievously. Suddenly, he stepped closer and coaxed Jeongguk’s shirt off. The maknae sucked in a breath as Taehyung dropped his face into the crook of Jeongguk’s neck, pressing gentle kisses there. “It’s not like you haven’t seen me before.” Taehyung’s voice was sinfully low.

“It’s not you who’s making me nervous,” Jeongguk admitted. 

Taehyung straightened and tugged off the maknae’s sweatpants. “I like looking at you, Kookie. Try not to be nervous.”

Jeongguk blushed but offered a sheepish nod. Taehyung kissed him once before walking over to the shower and turning it on. Jeongguk glanced at the mirror and his eyes widened. He must have made a noise because Taehyung turned to watch him, a small smile plastered to his face. 

Blue and purple marks peppered Jeongguk’s collarbone, shoulder, and chest, trailing down his stomach until they stopped at his hip. It was like a treasure map that Taehyung had created on his skin, and it was making all of Jeongguk’s blood rush in between his hips. All at once, memories of the night before deluged Jeongguk. The way Taehyung had whispered his name, as if it were the only word he knew. How his nails had raked down the maknae’s sides, not enough to bleed but enough to leave faint marks that Jeongguk could now admire. How he had eased in -

Okay. Time to stop.

Taehyung came up behind Jeongguk and wrapped his arms over the maknae’s chest. He was gazing at him in the mirror hungrily, but Jeongguk didn’t get shy about it. There was a strange sense of pride that swelled in his heart as Taehyung whispered to him, “Was it alright that I did this? I’m sorry, I should have asked you before, jagiya.”

“They’re beautiful,” Jeongguk breathed, not caring how weird that sounded or how weird it was that he was getting turned on by it. 

Taehyung hummed and it tickled Jeongguk’s ear, “I think so too, jagi.”

And then Jeongguk understood his pride. Whether it was strange or not, he loved the idea that the marks along his body were physical reminders that he was Taehyung’s. 

The older boy released Jeongguk and reached over his shoulder to pick at his bandages. Coming alive, Jeongguk stepped closer and gently tore off the dirty gauze. When he was finished, Taehyung glanced at him, “Ready?”

The maknae bit his lip and followed his hyung into the shower, keeping his eyes downcast. The water pelted his head, a little warmer than he’d like but much better than the scalding mess Jimin subjected him to, and Jeongguk’s eyes fluttered shut. He was vaguely aware of Taehyung opening a shampoo bottle - he didn’t really care whose it was at the moment - but instead of using it on his own head, the older boy suddenly laced his soapy fingers in Jeongguk’s hair. The maknae jerked up, startled, and Taehyung giggled, “Relax, Kookie.”

Jeongguk obeyed, closing his eyes and relishing in the sensation of Taehyung’s fingers massaging his scalp. A thought occurred to him, and he grabbed the shampoo bottle and started on Taehyung. The older boy laughed, and it was filled with so much pure joy that Jeongguk’s knees felt weak. And then they were kissing and Jeongguk wasn’t entirely sure who initiated it, but their hips were flush and he was extremely aware that he was _pressing_ against Taehyung’s thigh. Jeongguk stepped back, keeping their lips connected, to put some space between their bodies. Taehyung made a disapproving noise in his throat and hooked his hands on Jeongguk’s hips, pulling him forward again. “Hyung,” Jeongguk begged. 

“Kookie,” Taehyung moaned softly. “We have time.”

Jeongguk tilted his head back, letting Taehyung press a kiss to his throat. “I swear to god, hyung, if I have to wear scarves for the next week, I’m going to kill you.”

“I wouldn’t dare,” Taehyung promised. 

Their fronts were still pressed together, so Jeongguk mumbled, “Hyung, I have...a bit of a - a problem.”

Taehyung leaned back, gazing down with a smile. “It’s a good problem. Can I take care of it?”

“Please,” Jeongguk whined, leaning back against the shower wall. 

Ten minutes later, Taehyung left the bathroom first, pointing out that it would make more sense if one of them left before the other. So Jeongguk swayed in the middle of the bathroom, trying to remember how to brush his teeth. Once he figured it out and finished, he paused again. What next? He shook his head. Hair. Right. And clothes. Clothes were a thing. 

After Jeongguk managed to get around and exited the bathroom, Yoongi beckoned him into the kitchen. Jeongguk joined him and Yoongi said, “We have to leave in a few but do you want the other half of this?”

The maknae followed Yoongi’s gesture and smiled at the half of gaeran toast on his plate. Jeongguk accepted it thankfully, ravenous from the shower. Yoongi ruffled his hair and Jeongguk asked, “Where is everyone?”

“Getting ready to leave, probably,” Yoongi responded, sliding into the seat across from the maknae. 

They sat in silence as Jeongguk ate his food, Yoongi watching him with an expression of faint amusement. Seokjin came in to check on them once, but Yoongi frowned at him and he disappeared back down the hall. Jeongguk was grateful for his hyung’s kindness - he didn’t have to wait with him, he could be just as impatient as the others. But he did, and he wasn’t, and it was much harder to argue with two members than with one, so no one came in to tell Jeongguk to hurry up. As he ate, Jeongguk pulled up the selca he had taken with Jimin and Taehyung what seemed like ages ago and posted it on the group’s Twitter, laughing at the immediate Likes and Retweets. “Kekeke so cute!” someone posted. “Maknae line killing my heart!” read another. “Bangtan babies! <3” said a third. The final one the maknae read was, “I swear, Kookie oppa only posts to kill us!” Jeongguk rolled his eyes and closed the app, slipping his phone back in his pocket. He stuffed the last bite in his mouth and said around it, “Thanks, hyung.”

Yoongi wrinkled his nose as Jeongguk accidentally sprayed him with bits of egg and toast. The maknae snorted and Yoongi said, “Yeah, no problem, kid.”

Jeongguk followed his second oldest hyung down the hall to meet the other members. Jimin immediately pounced in front of him, “Kookie, you agree that I’m Taetae’s hyung, right?”

All of the hyungs collectively groaned. The maknae’s eyebrows rose and he glanced at Taehyung. The older boy just grinned arrogantly at him. His eyes said that Jeongguk would definitely be on his side, and he knew it. Just to mess with him, Jeongguk shrugged, “Sure.”

Taehyung’s jaw dropped and Jimin threw his arms around Jeongguk. “Thank you, Kookie!” He turned to the others victoriously, “See? _See?_ ”

Taehyung rolled his eyes, “Whatever, I’m still not calling you that.”

Hoseok shook his head, “Okay, Kookie agrees with Jiminie, can we be done with this please?”

Jeongguk nudged Jimin off of him and dug through the pile of shoes for his Timberlands. Namjoon clapped his hands as Yoongi and Jeongguk pulled on their shoes, “Alright guys, ready to go make an album that will blow ARMY away?”

Hoseok, extra per usual, threw his arms around the closest member - which was Taehyung, who pulled a face at the sudden body surrounding him - and shouted, “Yeah, let’s do it!” 

Jeongguk laughed, “Yeah, let’s go.”

Taehyung shot Jeongguk a gentle look as Hoseok released him and then reached to take his hand. If Jeongguk hadn’t been so focused on the pride on Taehyung’s face - pride because Jeongguk had let one of the hyungs touch his Taehyung without so much as a frown - he would have noticed the way Seokjin’s eyes hovered on the two youngest members’ entwined hands for a moment before sliding away to meet Yoongi’s. The oldest hyungs stared at each other, Yoongi’s lips pressed together in a firm warning. Seokjin decided to shake off whatever he was thinking and turned to Namjoon instead, “Shall we?”

The leader pulled open the door and led the six others down the apartment building’s hall. Seokjin slung his arm around Jeongguk, the movement a little stiffer than usual, and Yoongi did the same to Taehyung, a small smile playing on his lips. It was weird to see the second oldest member initiate a hug - he was never a huge fan of skinship - but then again, all of the hyungs seemed to melt for the maknae line. Jeongguk bent to invite Seokjin onto his back and the eldest visibly relaxed before obliging, letting the maknae carry him to the elevator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tHe HYuNgS KnOooOoOOooOOW


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter in Taehyung’s POV? It’s more likely than you think.

Taehyung roused before Jeongguk and smiled down at the younger boy. His lips were parted, still slightly swollen as they puffed warm breaths against his pillow, and Taehyung had to fight the urge to kiss him. His dark hair was tousled and his t-shirt was tugged up, revealing one of the hickeys Taehyung had left on him. The elder immediately decided that marking the maknae was one of his favorite activities.

Before his brain could travel farther down that road, Taehyung gently untangled himself and tiptoed out of the room. He wasn’t the first person awake. Someone was already showering, and Seokjin, Hoseok, and Jimin were in the kitchen. Taehyung offered them a wave that only Hoseok and Jimin sleepily returned.

Seokjin raised his eyebrows, holding a mug up to his lips with both hands. He blew on its contents, his gaze never wavering from Taehyung. The younger pulled open a cupboard and asked, “What, hyung?”

“Tired?” Seokjin asked innocently. He took a sip from his mug.

Jimin snorted and Taehyung immediately blushed. Fucking Jeongguk and his _noises_. Still, he wasn’t about to give in that easily. “No more tired than you probably are.”

Now Jimin released a laugh, and Hoseok looked at the mochi quizzically. “Are you sure?” Seokjin pressed.

Taehyung squinted, “Positive, hyung. Can one of you help me? I want to make coffee.”

“You hate coffee,” Jimin pointed out.

“I’m aware of that, Jiminie,” Taehyung said.

“I’m your hyung,” Jimin muttered darkly.

“You sure about that?” Taehyung retorted.

“Children,” Hoseok held up a hand, an easy grin plastered to his face. “It’s too early in the morning for this.”

“Sorry, hyung,” Taehyung said, putting emphasis on the honorific, and turned back to the cupboard to grab a mug.

He shuffled to the coffee maker and hesitated. After Jimin and Seokjin stayed put for an awkward beat, Hoseok pushed himself up and crossed to him. “Here.”

Taehyung stepped aside and let Hoseok turn the machine on. “Give me that,” his hyung said gently, gesturing to the mug. Taehyung handed it to him wordlessly and Hoseok pressed a couple buttons. The machine sprang to life and Hoseok turned back to his dongsaeng, smiling, “Dang, Taetae, if I would have known being your roommate came with perks -“ Jimin snorted loudly “- I would have volunteered swapping rooms!” He hummed to himself before adding, “Jeonggukie likes a normal amount of cream and a lot of sugar. Like, a lot. Don’t be shy with the sugar.”

Taehyung laughed, “Thanks, hyung, I’ll keep that in mind.”

Hoseok smiled. Seokjin watched this exchange silently over the rim of his mug. Taehyung looked over at him, “ _What_ , hyung?”

Seokjin lowered the mug and worked his jaw. Whatever he was getting ready to say was cut off by Jimin, “I’m older than Taehyung.”

Hoseok shook his head in disbelief, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“We were both born in ‘95,” Taehyung said. 

“Yeah, but I was born first,” Jimin pouted.

Taehyung went to Jimin and pinched his cheeks. The mochi scowled, swatting him away, as Taehyung said, “You’re too cute to be a hyung.”

Seokjin snorted coffee out of his nose and Hoseok burst into a fit of laughter, both at his hyung and his two dongsaengs. Seokjin grabbed a paper towel and wiped his face, blowing his nose. “Aish, Taehyungie, warn me next time.”

Taehyung smiled, thinking Seokjin was snapping out of his funk, but then the oldest frowned down at his mug. Not quite, then. The coffee was done, so Taehyung turned back to the counter. After letting him struggle for a moment, Seokjin quietly showed him where the sugar was. Even after over a month of living here, Taehyung still didn’t know where everything was. He sighed at himself and thanked his oldest hyung, who nodded curtly in lieu of a response. 

“Hoseok-hyung, don’t you think I’m technically Taehyungie’s hyung?” Jimin continued.

“I swear to god, Jiminie, if this is a thing today, I’m going to scream,” Hoseok answered, but he was smiling brightly.

Yoongi shuffled into the kitchen, his hair still damp, and glanced at Seokjin and Taehyung. Jimin turned to him hopefully, “Yoongi-hyung, I’m Taetae’s hyung, right?”

“Not really, kid,” Yoongi said, stifling a yawn.

Taehyung grinned victoriously and finished stirring in the four heaping spoonfuls of sugar that Hoseok had instructed him to put in. Yoongi glanced at the mug, “You must be really tired if you’re drinking coffee.”

“It’s not for me,” Taehyung said sheepishly.

“Ah,” Yoongi said, opening the refrigerator. He shut it after a moment and went to the breadbox instead, continuing his thought, “Good. That you’re making him coffee, that is.” 

Taehyung inwardly groaned. He was going to tape Jeongguk’s mouth shut next time. So far, Hoseok was the only one who seemed oblivious. Yet Yoongi didn’t seem irritated like Seokjin did, and he wasn’t laughing like Jimin. He was just...content. Like this was normal. Like even with this new development, nothing had really changed. It almost seemed supportive. 

“He’ll be impressed with the sugar.” Yoongi nodded to himself, as if this had been a test and Taehyung had passed. 

Taehyung wetted his lips, not entirely sure how to process his hyung’s behavior. “Hoseok-hyung helped me.” 

Hoseok ruffled his hair, grinning, “Oh shush, Tae. It was your idea in the first place.”

Taehyung bobbed his head sheepishly. Seokjin set his mug down a little too loudly and Yoongi’s eyes shot to his. They shared a silent moment, staring daggers into each other, and Taehyung squirmed. Had he and Jeongguk crossed a line? BigHit didn’t ban them from dating, but was there an unspoken rule in the group that Taehyung wasn’t yet privy to? But why would Jeongguk go along with it if there was?

“Why don’t you take that to Jeongguk before it gets cold, Tae-ah,” Yoongi said gently, his hard stare never leaving Seokjin’s. 

Taehyung nodded, but Seokjin spoke, “Wait, Taehyung.”

“No,” Yoongi said, his voice dangerously calm. Taehyung froze, glancing at Jimin. He seemed just as nervous, and Hoseok only seemed confused. “Go on, Taehyungie. Jeonggukie will like waking up to fresh coffee,” Yoongi finished. 

Seokjin pressed his lips together, but when Taehyung looked at him for permission, he just lifted his mug to his lips and took a long sip. Taehyung slowly obeyed his second oldest hyung, watching Seokjin’s face until he was out of the room. He paused long enough to hear him say, “You don’t have to worry about everyone else’s well-being like I do, Yoongi.”

“They’re allowed to be happy, hyung,” Yoongi responded, his voice cold. 

Hoseok stepped out into the hall and frowned at Taehyung. “I don’t know what’s going on, but if you need someone to talk to, I’m here.”

Taehyung nodded distractedly, straining to hear the last of the eldest hyungs’ conversation, “Thanks, hyung.”

He could just barely hear Seokjin say tiredly, “At what expense, Yoongi-ah?”

Hoseok gripped Taehyung’s arm, gently directing him down the hall, “Listen to Yoongi-hyung, Taetae. The coffee’s going to get cold.”

Taehyung nodded vaguely. When he took a step, Hoseok let go and went back into the kitchen. Taehyung continued to walk, his mind buzzing. 

Suddenly, a cold chill sliced through his body. He froze as an achingly familiar voice whispered, “ _You’re in dangerous waters, Taehyung._ ”

Taehyung shuddered, whispering, “What do you want?”

“ _You’re very close to breaking the rules,_ ” the voice said, ignoring his question. 

“So I haven’t broken one yet,” Taehyung managed to say. 

Raphael’s voice brought back memories that Taehyung thought he’d buried. Unforgiving hands on his body. Red blindfolds, soft as silk on his skin. Kisses that were too hard, too demanding, on his mouth. 

“You must be really obsessed if you’re resorting to meddling,” Taehyung forced himself to quip. 

But it didn’t matter. The archangel was gone, leaving Taehyung shaken and alone in the hallway. He shook his head and urged his heart to slow to a normal pace. And then Jimin was suddenly in the hall behind him, clapping him on the back. Taehyung flinched, but Jimin was too busy giggling to notice. “Ignore Jinnie-hyung, Taetae. He’s just overprotective.”

Taehyung forced himself to turn to Jimin, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jimin rolled his eyes, “Really? If you’re going to play dumb then at least invest in duct tape.” 

Taehyung blushed and dropped his gaze, “I’ll keep that in mind. Just...keep it to yourself, yeah? Jeonggukie would be mortified.”

“I’m his hyung, Tae-ah,” Jimin grinned, his cheeks pushing up into his eyes. “It’s my job to mortify him. Just like it’s my job to mortify you.”

Taehyung frowned at him, “Same age, Jiminie.”

“A few months apart, Taehyungie,” Jimin shot back. He slung his arms around Taehyung’s neck and nuzzled his cheek, “But since I love you both, I won’t tease Kookie. Yet.” He paused thoughtfully, “I’ll at least wait until you two tell us yourselves.” 

The mochi then skipped off into the living room. Taehyung groaned, rubbing at his face. He was still shaken that Raphael had actually spoken to him. The more he thought about it, the more he inexplicably wanted to cry. Why couldn’t he be free of that toxicity? Would the archangel ever let him go? Taehyung stayed frozen in the hall, praying none of his hyungs (or worse, Jeongguk) would find him and question him, for what felt like an eternity. When he was sure he was okay, he quietly entered his and Jeongguk’s room. The maknae was still fast asleep, now curled around his pillow, and Taehyung found peace once more as he gazed down at him. He took in a deep breath and said, “Good morning, jagiya.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you want more chapters in Taehyung’s POV! I had a lot of fun writing his side of the story


	17. Chapter 17

It was late when the members returned to the dorm, and even later for Jeongguk, who stayed behind to record a cover for their SoundCloud. Taehyung and Hoseok offered to stay with him, but Jeongguk had refused. He’d rather do it alone, where he could lose himself in the notes and allow each crescendo to tug his heart along the swelling measures. His hair was freshly dyed and his scalp itched, but it wasn’t bad and he was so used to the feeling by now that he could easily ignore it. 

Jeongguk set up his mic and lifted his headphones onto his head, taking a breath. His eyes slid shut as he pressed Play on the track, music flooding his ears. He sung until it was perfect and then sang it again just for good measure. Once happy with how it sounded, Jeongguk set to work splicing it all together. 

Suddenly, there were arms draped around his neck. They were startling light, a familiar sensation, and Jeongguk jumped, pressing a hand to his chest, “Hyung, you scared me. I thought you went home?” 

The arms slithered away and Jeongguk looked up with a smile that instantly turned into a look of pure terror. 

Raphael - Jeongguk didn’t know how he knew it was him, but he did - grinned wickedly down at him. There was an ethereal light about him, though it wasn’t as blinding as it had been in the memory Taehyung had shared with him. The maknae could make out pale lips and a long romanesque nose through the hazy glow. Raphael’s voice rattled Jeongguk’s bones as he said, “It sounds beautiful, little one.”

Jeongguk snapped to his senses and stood up, knocking the chair back in his haste. “Get the fuck away from me.”

Raphael reached towards him and Jeongguk stumbled away from his outstretched hand. The archangel just laughed and latched onto Jeongguk’s arm. The maknae hissed as if he’d been burned, and in a way, he had. The archangel’s touch was as hot as a branding iron. Raphael ignored his squirming and whispered in a sickly-sweet voice, “You’re a phase, little one. Taehyung doesn’t really love you. How could he?”

And then Raphael leaned forward to press a kiss against Jeongguk’s lips. Fury gripped the maknae’s throat and it was stronger than his fear. With a roar, Jeongguk swung his free fist forward with all his might. Instead of connecting with Raphael’s face, though, he fell forward, his momentum carrying him through the now-empty air. He shuffled to his feet and wound his head around, searching. His heart was pounding in his ears, but he could still hear the faint laugh as the last of the archangel’s presence disappeared from the studio. 

Jeongguk stood in the middle of the room, the walls closing in on him, before robotically picking up his chair. He sat down, turning back to his screen, and slid his headphones on, willing his heart to calm down. He tried to continue working, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was someone behind him. After looking over his shoulder enough times to make his neck ache, Jeongguk rubbed his hands down his face and grabbed his coat. He wouldn’t get anything else done tonight. The studio was too dark, too large, too quiet. He texted the driver to pick him up and left the building, forcing himself not to run. It was freezing outside, but he wasn’t comfortable inside the studio by himself. The phantom sensation of Raphael’s hand on his bare arm made him scratch at the spot irritably. A few minutes later, the driver rolled up, and Jeongguk blew out a cloudy breath and jogged to hop in the car. 

Taehyung was asleep when Jeongguk entered their room, curled into a ball with his back to the door. Jeongguk reached up to run a hand through his hair, itching his scalp, and huffed, dropping his jacket on the floor. He stepped closer to the sleeping boy, shucking off his shirt and kicking off his pants until he was left in his boxers. Taehyung stirred as Jeongguk slid into bed beside him and rolled to face the maknae, throwing an arm around him. “Done working?” he mumbled against Jeongguk’s bare shoulder. 

“Obviously,” Jeongguk said, nuzzling his hyung.

“Hmm, good,” Taehyung hummed. “Missed you.”

“It’s been, like, two hours,” Jeongguk pointed out. _It had been too long. It had been enough time for Raphael to visit him._ Jeongguk squeezed his eyes shut. 

Taehyung roused at his tone, blinking blearily. “Kookie? You okay?”

And even in his dark mood, Jeongguk melted at the sleepy lilt in Taehyung’s voice. He didn’t want that voice to turn to one of worry, anger, or regret, so he shook his head, “Yeah, hyung, I’m okay. Go to sleep, yeah?”

“Kookie?” Taehyung asked. 

“Hyung.”

“Love you.”

Jeongguk tightened his grip around Taehyung’s middle, biting his lip to fight the tears that burned at the back of his throat. “I love you too, hyung.”

_You’re a phase._

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

Jeongguk wandered through the bright white dreamscape, not quite heading for any destination in particular. He knew Taehyung would be waiting for him, but he couldn’t face the older boy right away. Shame and anxiety clawed at his throat, threatening to drown him, and he wasn’t sure he could look Taehyung in the eye without bursting into sobs. No, he couldn’t find Taehyung right now. He had to process this first.

The maknae was famous for keeping his darkest emotions on the inside, a trait that was acquired through his intense shyness during his first few months with his hyungs. As a result, he could compartmentalize his feelings rather quickly, and that’s exactly what he did. He stopped, crossing his arms over his chest, and stared down at his feet. 

_One at a time. You have to look at things like this one at a time._

Jeongguk forced himself to calm down and pressed his lips together. Raphael had visited him. That confused him. Good. Confusion. Jeongguk understood that, he could work with that. He set that word aside and went on to tackle the next thing. Raphael had touched him. It had hurt. Jeongguk didn’t like it. It made him...sad. No, wrong word. It made him upset. Yes. Upset. Okay, he had “confused” and “upset.” Time to move on. Raphael had told him something.

_Remember, Jeongguk. Repeat the words. One sentence at a time._ Raphael had said, “It sounds beautiful, little one.”

Jeongguk hadn’t liked seeing him, but that sentence in itself didn’t really require a whole lot of analysis. Time to move on.

“You’re a phase, little one.”

If Raphael and Taehyung had had the relationship Jeongguk suspected they did, then that was probably a statement made from jealousy. To scare him. It worked to rattle Jeongguk, but when added to the last two sentences, it killed him. 

_No. One sentence at a time. Move on._ Raphael had then said, “Taehyung doesn’t really love you.”

And that sentence had seemed so final, so definitive. As if it were the most obvious thing in the world. It burned Jeongguk’s chest to think about it too long, so he went to the last sentence.

“How could he?”

Well, that’s a good question. Taehyung was an angel. He had had an archangel at his side. “Settling” was a very mild term for what he had done to accept Jeongguk. Tears prickled in Jeongguk’s eyes and he shook his head fiercely. 

He didn’t have to think about what Raphael had said. He didn’t.

And then Raphael had kissed him. That had made him angry. White hot fury had flashed across Jeongguk’s vision and he had tried to punch him. It hadn’t worked, but it had made Raphael leave.

_Confused, upset, and angry._ He could work with those, and he could ignore the seething mess swirling around in his chest from Raphael’s words. Jeongguk nodded to himself once and uncrossed his arms. He set off in search of Taehyung.

It took him a good fifteen minutes to follow the gentle tug in his brain to find his hyung. When he found him, he was sitting cross-legged with his back to the maknae. He sighed contentedly when Jeongguk slipped his arms around him, “I was starting to worry, jagiya.”

Jeongguk kissed his ear and circled around to curl in Taehyung’s lap. The elder enveloped his arms around Jeongguk’s body, holding him in place, and pressed a kiss into his brown hair. He reached up to pet it and Jeongguk’s eyes fluttered shut as he struggled to fight off his anxiety. “So pretty, Jeonggukie,” Taehyung cooed, examining a lock of hair.

“You’ll get yours done tomorrow?” Jeongguk asked, trying for a normal conversation.

Taehyung nodded, humming, “They really only need to do my roots at this point, though.” He tightened his grip on the maknae. “So, jagi, what’s your question tonight?”

_Oh, right._ After Jeongguk’s composure had cracked a couple nights ago and he had deluged the poor boy with a thousand questions, Taehyung had made a rule. Jeongguk could ask one question per night, and they could discuss the answer until Jeongguk fully understood it. His first one had been easy. 

_”How old are you?”_

_Taehyung’s eyebrows shot skyward. Jeongguk squirmed after a moment, “Hyung, you said I could ask anything.”_

_Taehyung blinked, “That’s a very anticlimactic question, Kookie.”_

_Jeongguk listlessly slapped his arm, “Well, that’s my question.”_

_Taehyung rolled his eyes, “Twenty-two.”_

_”Your real age, hyung,” Jeongguk ordered._

_”Twenty-two,” Taehyung repeated dryly._

_Jeongguk huffed out an irritated breath, “How does that work when you’re an angel?”_

_”Guardians are ‘born,’” Taehyung lifted his fingers to put air quotes around “born,” “when their wards are. Every human born at the exact same time are under the protection of the same guardian angel. Once all of them are dead, the guardian ceases to exist.” He fiddled with the hem of his pants, “Though I suppose now I’ll die whenever this body gives out, just like a regular human.”_

_Jeongguk’s eyes widened, “Seriously?”_

_”Yes, Kookie. That’s what happens when you fall. You basically become a human.”_

_”Basically?” Jeongguk asked, curiosity peaked._

_”That’s another question, jagi,” Taehyung pointed out. “That means we’re done for tonight.”_

“Jeongguk?” Taehyung suddenly asked, snapping the maknae out of his daze.

“Huh?”

“What’s your question?”

“Oh,” Jeongguk rubbed the back of his neck and untangled himself from Taehyung’s arms, sliding to sit in front of him. Taehyung folded his hands in his lap patiently. Originally, he was going to ask what happened when an angel fell. But he found his lips forming the words, “What’s your history with Raphael? All of it.”

Taehyung frowned, “Why do you want to know that, jagi?”

Jeongguk wetted his lips, fidgeting with his boxers. Somehow, Taehyung was always in those damned red trousers here, but Jeongguk always found himself in what he had fallen asleep in. “Curiosity,” he finally settled on.

Taehyung hesitated, eyes guarded. Jeongguk set his expression, waiting. Maybe the answer to this question would quell his nausea. Finally, Taehyung sighed, “He was my mentor.”

“For what?”

“Jesus, Kook, I’m getting there,” Taehyung snapped. “He was my mentor for,” he pursed his lips, trying to find an appropriate word, “everything.”

“That’s a great word to use,” Jeongguk said darkly.

Taehyung threw up his arms in frustration. “Jeongguk, do you want an answer to your question or not?” Jeongguk quieted, pouting, and Taehyung continued, “He taught me how to watch over my wards, how to fly once my wings fledged, how to protect without interfering with fate, and then he taught me about hedonism.” At Jeongguk’s blank expression, Taehyung groaned, “Pleasure, Jeongguk, he taught me about pleasure. That it’s the most important thing in this universe. I wasn’t sure I believed him, but I looked up to him.” Taehyung’s eyes clouded and he paused.

Jeongguk prompted, “So you…?”

Taehyung eyed the maknae warily. “I wanted to make him happy. And so I became the pleasure that he sought.” The elder dropped his gaze to his hands, balled into fists in his lap, “He owned me, I know that now, and that’s not healthy when all I wanted was to love him. But I lived to please him, and neither of us wanted it to end. And so we came up with a plan to make it so I would never die. I could be his happiness for the rest of eternity, until the Earth was nothing more than dust.”

He paused again and Jeongguk breathed, “But?”

“I loved him, Jeongguk,” Taehyung met his eyes. It wasn’t said to be cruel, it was said to be a fact of the case. But it stung the maknae and he lowered his chin onto his chest. “I thought he loved me too. I thought what we had was enough to transcend things like rules and laws of existence.” He laughed humorlessly, “It wasn’t. And when we were inevitably found out, of course I had to be the one punished. Archangels don’t fall. They can’t. They are perfect,” he spat this last sentence. “And so when it came to me or his status, Raphael chose the latter. And, well, you know how that ended.”

The two of them sat in silence for a long time. The answer hadn’t eased Jeongguk’s anxiety, but he couldn’t be upset at Taehyung for that. Finally, he whispered, “Do you miss him?”

Jeongguk half expected Taehyung to scold him for asking a second question, but what he did instead was worse. He pursed his lips, looking skyward thoughtfully. Each second that passed punched a new hole in Jeongguk’s chest, so that when his hyung finally spoke, he was struggling to breathe. “Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if we hadn’t broken the rules and were just happy with the few decades I had. I don’t think that’s the same thing as missing him.” He then dropped his head to look at Jeongguk, “I regret it sometimes. I miss flying.”

The confession would have been more profound if Jeongguk’s heart wasn’t fighting for each beat. 

“Jagi? What are you thinking?”

_One thing at a time._ Jeongguk mentally shook himself and shrugged, “Just that...um, I guess, I hope I can make you as happy as all that.”

Taehyung pulled the maknae to his chest, enveloping him in warmth. “You give me so much more than that, jagi. You give me purpose, and not just because you use me for your own pleasure.” His arms loosened and Jeongguk straightened, watching him with wide eyes. “I thought...when you - we -” he shook his head, releasing an uncomfortable laugh, “I thought all those times you begged for me, that you were just - just - but you weren’t, and - well, thank you.”

“For what?” Jeongguk asked, incredulous. 

“I thought -” Taehyung tried again, grimacing. “I thought you just wanted me to...please...you. Like him. But - no, that’s not - you didn’t want that. You wanted _me_. That made me happy. Truly happy. And now I just want to please you because I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything.” He blushed at himself, avoiding Jeongguk’s stare. “So, I guess, thank you.”

The visit from Raphael washed from Jeongguk immediately. He slid to his hyung’s side and tugged him close, peppering him with kisses. Taehyung burst into a fit of giggles, batting Jeongguk’s face away. “I’m trying to be serious, Kookie!”

Jeongguk sobered, leaning back. “Can I ask one more question?”

“Depends on what it is,” Taehyung said wearily.

“Do you love me more than flying?”

Taehyung blinked before his mouth stretched into a boxy grin and he tackled Jeongguk onto his back, pressing kisses to his face. “Jagi, I’d let them rip my wings out again in a heartbeat if I would have known what was waiting for me down here.”

Satisfied, Jeongguk let Taehyung’s kisses migrate to his lips.

_Screw you, Raphael. Taehyung loves me more than flying._


	18. Chapter 18

Jeongguk’s eyes flipped open, his heart pounding. His brain dragged itself into action and he became aware of Taehyung’s breath on his neck, hot and needy. “H-hyung, what are you…?”

“Mmm, want you, Kookie,” Taehyung mumbled, kissing his neck. “Can I have you?”

“You already do, hyung,” Jeongguk said.

“Noooo,” Taehyung whined. He sounded like a pouty little kid when he was overtired, and Jeongguk honestly loved it. The maknae gasped as Taehyung’s fingers found their way to the hem of his boxers. “Please, Kookie. I want to show you how much I love you.”

“You don’t have to fuck me for that,” Jeongguk said, surprising himself.

Taehyung’s eyes widened, suddenly fully awake, and he grinned slyly. “What if I want to? Does that change things?”

Jeongguk nuzzled into Taehyung’s throat and then kissed a spot just beneath his Adam’s apple. Taehyung gasped, craning his neck, “Kookie…”

Gathering up all of his courage, Jeongguk situated himself between Taehyung’s thighs and eased off the elder’s boxers. Taehyung propped himself up on his elbows, eyes wide. “Jeonggukie, what are you doing?”

Terror was gripping the maknae’s throat because shit, here he was, and he wasn’t about to back down, but he’d never done this before and what if he was terrible? What if Taehyung hated it? What if - 

To shut himself up, Jeongguk dropped his mouth down around Taehyung’s growing member. With a shocked gasp, Taehyung’s head fell back onto his pillow. “Fuck, Jeongguk!” 

His hips bucked up into Jeongguk’s mouth and the maknae gagged. Taehyung shakily pet his hair, “S-sorry, Kookie.”

Jeongguk hummed and then immediately noted that Taehyung liked it when he did that. He squeezed his eyes shut, concentrating, but his jaw was starting to ache. Before it could lock, Jeongguk pulled his head up. Taehyung whined, but immediately cut himself off as he watched Jeongguk yank off his own boxers. The maknae straddled his hyung’s hips, sucking his fingers. He’d watched this in a porn once. Hopefully it’d actually work. 

Once satisfied, Jeongguk looked shyly up at Taehyung. His eyes were wide, jaw dropped onto his chest, and somehow grew wider as Jeongguk gingerly lowered himself onto his fingers.

It burned, fuck, it burned, but the sounds coming from Taehyung made it worth it. With some searching, Jeongguk found his prostate and whimpered. Taehyung moaned, eyes never leaving Jeongguk’s ministrations.

_Okay. Here goes nothing._ Jeongguk braced himself against Taehyung’s stomach and felt around until he had the older boy’s member in his hand. Taehyung said carefully, “Kookie? The lube is in my drawer, want to grab it?”

Jeongguk ignored him, squeezing his eyes shut. 

“Kookie, I really don’t think that’s a good - _fuck!_ ” Taehyung gasped as Jeongguk sat down flush against his pelvis. 

The maknae echoed the exclamation, yelping, and launched off his hyung. He flinched at the sting that shot through his lower region. Taehyung sat up, reaching for him, “Jagi, jagiya, what were you thinking? You could have been hurt!” 

Jeongguk couldn’t meet his hyung’s eyes. “I thought - I mean, I once saw -“

“What could you have possibly seen that made you want to have sex dry?” Taehyung snapped, but he wasn’t angry, only worried about the pained expression on Jeongguk’s face. And then realization dawned on him. “Kookie.”

Jeongguk hid his face in Taehyung’s chest. It started to vibrate beneath his cheek and he realized that Taehyung was laughing. He pulled back, opening his mouth to scold him, but he was cut off by his hyung, “Kookie, do _not_ tell me that you took advice from _porn_.” 

The maknae squirmed, still in pain and now with his pride joining the injury list. “Hyung, please stop laughing.”

Taehyung calmed down, wiping at his eyes. “Alright, jagiya, I’ll stop for now.”

Jeongguk chewed the inside of his cheek as Taehyung started to lazily stroke his hair. “Hyung? Can we still - but, you know, the right way - can -“

“Nope,” Taehyung grinned, meeting the maknae’s disgruntled stare with crinkled eyes. “Kookie hurt himself. He needs to heal.”

“Hyung!” Jeongguk swatted his chest and Taehyung pulled him down onto the bed beside him. 

“I mean it, Kookie. You aren’t getting anything right now.” 

“That means you aren’t either,” Jeongguk pointed out. 

Taehyung pretended to think for a moment before deciding, “Worth it. Don’t take advice from porn, dummy.” 

Jeongguk’s face was still on fire. Taehyung kissed his cheek and pulled him to his chest. “Sleep for a few more minutes, jagi.”

“You don’t get to call me that right now,” Jeongguk grumbled, only half joking.

“Oh yeah?” Taehyung asked playfully. “Is my Kookie whining?”

_Your Kookie is going to have blue balls._ “No, hyung.”

“He is!” Taehyung giggled and Jeongguk sat up with a frown. “What a precious little baby boy.”

“Hyung,” Jeongguk muttered, halfheartedly slugging his bare shoulder.

Taehyung held up his hands defensively, still grinning. “Okay, okay, I’m done. Come here, jagiya.”

Jeongguk obeyed, burying himself in Taehyung’s chest. 

The alarm went off twenty minutes later and the boys groaned together. Taehyung slammed his palm down on the Snooze button, but Jeongguk pushed himself up with a wince. He was already filled with regret and the day hadn’t even started yet. Taehyung snickered as Jeongguk carefully eased himself up and the maknae slapped his chest, “Don’t you even start.”

Taehyung bit his bottom lip, eyes twinkling. “Should I kiss it to make it feel better?” Jeongguk wrinkled his nose and Taehyung burst into a fit of laughter. “That’s actually a thing, Kookie.”

“ _What?_ ” Jeongguk hissed incredulously. 

Taehyung wiped at his eyes, “Nevermind. I’m not going to explain rim jobs to you, that’s what the internet’s for.”

“I really don’t think it is,” Jeongguk muttered. 

The elder patted Jeongguk’s head affectionately before pushing himself out of bed. “I’m going to go see if I can get in line for the shower. Will you take off my bandages?”

Jeongguk stood and gently pulled off the gauze. “They’re healing really well, hyung.”

And they were. They had scabbed over enough that they wouldn’t break open when Taehyung danced, and the skin around them was a gentle shade of pink. Jeongguk smiled when he found that there wasn’t any blood on the gauze in his hand. Taehyung rolled his shoulders experimentally, “They don’t hurt.”

“Good,” Jeongguk said, pressing a kiss to the back of Taehyung’s neck. “I still want to keep them bandaged for a few more days.”

Taehyung sighed, but nodded anyway. “Sounds good, jagi.”

Jeongguk lifted his hands to massage the older boy’s shoulders. “Do you want me to go see if anyone is in the bathroom?”

“It won’t matter if they are,” Taehyung responded. He hesitated, turning his head to look at the maknae. “Unless...unless you don’t want me to shower with anyone else.”

Jeongguk blushed. He’d love to be the only one who got to see Taehyung naked, but logic told him that was an unrealistic request. “I’m not talking about that, we can’t just stop showering with everyone else, it would just waste time. I’m talking about your wounds. How are you going to explain them?”

Taehyung turned the full power of his boxy smile on the maknae. “Want to see a magic trick?”

“Sure,” Jeongguk said, confused. 

“Okay, watch,” Taehyung turned back around. 

Suddenly, the wounds on his back faded until they disappeared completely. Jeongguk gasped, “What the hell?”

“It’s called glamour,” Taehyung struggled to say. “Angels can use it all the time. Once you’re fallen, though, you have to concentrate really hard just to even cover this much.” His shoulders coiled as perspiration formed on his back. “But I can hold it long enough to shower if I’m careful. It’s a pain in the ass, though.”

“Hyung,” Jeongguk said slowly as Taehyung dropped the glamour, his muscles relaxing. 

“Yeah, jagiya?” Taehyung turned to pull the maknae against him. 

“What if…” Jeongguk hesitated. “Would it be...I mean, if you’re not comfortable with it, so be it, but - I mean, uh, what if we told the others? You know, about you.” At Taehyung’s blank expression, Jeongguk said, “They’re our family. We’re brothers. We don’t hide anything from each other.”

Taehyung raised his eyebrows, “Anything, Kookie?”

Jeongguk blushed, “You know what I mean. I think they’d be confused, like I was, but I don’t think any of them would shun you or anything like that.”

Taehyung was silent for a long moment. Jeongguk fidgeted, worrying he’d gone too far. The elder mused slowly, “I guess I’d have to think about it.”

“I’m just thinking,” Jeongguk added, “I mean, if glamour is that hard to do, it’s not unlikely that it’ll fail you at some point. I think it’d be better to tell them before that happens.”

Taehyung nodded carefully, “I’ll think about it, jagi.”

“Thank you,” Jeongguk exhaled. 

“Can I go shower now?”

“Yeah, hyung,” Jeongguk smiled. “Kiss me first, though.”

Taehyung obeyed, leaning over and pressing his lips gently to Jeongguk’s. The maknae gasped against him and grappled at his hair, tugging him deeper. Taehyung laughed, “Easy, Kookie, I need to breathe.”

“Breathing is overrated,” Jeongguk whispered. 

Taehyung shrugged and melted into the maknae. After a moment, he pulled away and stood, “See you in a bit, jagiya.”

Jeongguk pulled his knees to his chest, watching Taehyung tug on a t-shirt and slip out the door. _Glamour. Huh._ He shook his head, smiling. Taehyung would never cease to amaze him. 

Seokjin was the only one in the kitchen when Jeongguk shuffled out. The eldest had been acting off lately, so Jeongguk glanced at him warily as he slid into a chair at the table. Seokjin reached into the fridge and handed Jeongguk a banana milk without meeting his eyes. Jeongguk accepted it, fishing for words. He could hear the TV playing some drama quietly in the living room. He whispered, “Hyungnim?”

Seokjin flinched and slowly turned to the maknae, “Yeah?”

“Are you okay?”

The eldest hesitated. “Yeah, Kookie. I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? You can talk to me, hyung.”

“Well,” Seokjin pursed his lips. “Just...please be careful. Whether we like it or not, what you do doesn’t just define you, it defines all of us.” 

Jeongguk’s stomach fell. Was the room getting smaller? It definitely felt like it was getting smaller. Seokjin knew, which meant the other hyungs probably did too. And they didn’t hear it from Jeongguk, and Jeongguk trusted that Taehyung didn't tell them, which meant they found out in the worst way possible. “I’m so sorry, hyung,” Jeongguk mumbled, fighting the sudden urge to cry. “We should have - I should have - I’m sorry. We should have asked you guys if it was okay. If you guys were okay with it. I shouldn’t have - I’m so selfish, hyung. I’m so sorry.”

“No, Jeonggukie!” Seokjin darted to his side, cupping his face in his soothing hands. He rubbed the maknae’s cheeks gently with his thumbs and Jeongguk, ashamed, realized that he’d let a tear escape. So much for that emotional wall he prided himself on. Seokjin smiled kindly and pressed a kiss to the maknae’s forehead. “You deserve all the happiness this world has to offer, you both do. And I know you’re being careful, I know that. I know you understand what’s at stake. I’m just so worried about all of you all the time and I forget that you’re adults that can handle yourselves.” Jeongguk snaked his arms around Seokjin’s middle, burying his face into his shoulder. Seokjin stroked his hair and admitted, “I might be a little jealous too.”

Jeongguk looked up, confusion etched into his features. “Jealous?”

Seokjin patted his head, offering a small grin, “Well, sure. My golden maknae went and grew up without my permission. You don’t need the rest of us as much anymore.”

“You know damn well that’s not true,” Jeongguk snapped. “I love and appreciate all of you more than words can say. Sure, I love Taehyung-hyung a little differently, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need you guys anymore.” Jeongguk pursed his lips, “The hyungs made me who I am. And I think I need you guys even more now, if I’m being honest.”

Seokjin pulled back, eyeing the maknae. “Yeah?”

Jeongguk nodded, feeling himself slip into his inopportune shyness. Stalling, he sheepishly grabbed a fistful of the eldest’s shirt, twisting his fingers in it thoughtfully. “I don’t want to ever lose who you’ve all made me. I don’t think I will, but I know that I’ve given myself a lot more stress by choosing to be in a relationship, especially with another member.” Seokjin stroked his fingers through Jeongguk’s hair. “But I wouldn’t have - hyung, this sounds really, really stupid, and you can’t tell anyone but - I don’t know, there’s something about him. Everything is, I don’t know, better? Like my life was perfect before, but now all that perfection makes sense, and even when things are bad, there’s somehow good stuff in it too.” Jeongguk paused and Seokjin waited patiently. Finally, the maknae murmured, “I wouldn’t have let myself be with him if I didn’t believe it was for good. I wouldn’t do that to all of us.” 

“I know you wouldn’t,” Seokjin sighed, deflating into Jeongguk. “I want you to be happy. That’s all I want is for all of us to be happy and together. I’m sorry I’ve been dumb about it. I trust you, and I trust Taehyungie. And I speak for everyone when I say we’re here for you. Both of you.” 

Seokjin glanced up in the direction of the doorway to the living room. Jeongguk followed his gaze to find Yoongi leaning against the doorframe, his eyes locked on Seokjin’s. When he felt Jeongguk’s gaze, he smiled and moved to sit on the other side of the maknae. He ruffled Jeongguk’s hair affectionately, “You’re mature enough to make these decisions for yourself, kid, and we trust you to be smart.” He grinned, revealing his gums, “Just try to be a little quieter, ya? Grandpa Yoongi needs his sleep.”

Jeongguk’s face lit on fire and Seokjin threw himself backwards, releasing a loud windshield wiper laugh. 

Jimin pokes his head into the kitchen, “Is the serious part of the conversation done?” 

Jeongguk buried his face in his hands. “I hate all of you.”

“Don’t hate Hoseok-hyung, he hasn’t figured it out yet,” Namjoon shuffled into the kitchen, shaking out his damp hair. “Oh, and Jiminie, I just took a shower with Taehyung, so they’re still sharing the bathroom with everyone. Guess you’ll get to continue torturing Kookie with scalding showers until we move into a bigger place.”

Jimin pumped his fist in the air and Jeongguk’s eyes widened, “You’ve been doing that on purpose?”

“Not completely,” Jimin promised, giggling. “I do like hot showers, but I like to make sure it’s especially so when you get in.”

Taehyung walked in just as Jeongguk tackled Jimin to the floor. He raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Seokjin pushing himself up and enveloping him in a hug. Taehyung froze, unsure, before melting against the eldest with a boxy grin. Namjoon moves around them and went to the coffee maker just as Hoseok poked into the kitchen. “What’s going on?”

“Taetae made Kookie a man!” Jimin blurted before Jeongguk slapped a hand over his mouth, pinning him to the floor. 

“What?” Hoseok’s eyebrows knitted together. After a beat, realization registered on his face. “ _Ohh_ , that was you two? I thought that was someone’s porn.” 

“Who watches porn that loud?” Yoongi pointed out dryly. 

“Who has time to watch porn at all?” Namjoon added. 

“I found out this morning that Kookie does,” Taehyung said, a shit-eating grin stretching across his face. Jeongguk twisted, still on top of Jimin, and kicked his shin. Taehyung doubled over in a fit of laughter. 

Hoseok shrugged, “I don’t judge. What time are we leaving again?” 

“Ten minutes,” Namjoon answered, stirring the cup of coffee he’d made. 

Jeongguk looked up to meet Taehyung’s eyes. He mouthed, “ _I’m going to kill you_.”

“Thanks,” Hoseok smiled, “I’m going to try to finish this episode. Coming, Yoongi-hyung?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Yoongi pushed himself up and followed Hoseok into the living room. 

Taehyung’s dark eyes suddenly flicked to the unopened bottle of banana milk on the table. Jeongguk glared at him as a warning, but Taehyung still slowly reached out a hand and, before Jeongguk could untangle himself from Jimin, snatched the bottle and twisted it open. He threw it back just as Jeongguk lunged for him, his entire body smacking into Taehyung’s chest. The older boy stumbled back, reaching out his free hand to stabilize the maknae, and Seokjin shouted, “Hey! I’m not cleaning up whatever mess you two make!” 

“Taetae, retreat!” Jimin shouted, already running into the living room. 

Taehyung suddenly pecked Jeogguk’s cheek and pressed the bottle and cap into his stunned grasp before darting after Jimin. By the time Jeongguk caught up to them, Taehyung had launched onto Hoseok’s lap. “Hyungs are safe!”

Jimin plopped onto Yoongi, who rolled his eyes with an exaggerated sigh. “Safe!” Jimin giggled. 

Yoongi unceremoniously stood up, making Jimin tumble to the floor. Jeongguk looked expectantly at Hoseok, but he just smiled, “I’m too comfortable to get up.”

And so Jeongguk was forced to wrestle Jimin instead of the real culprit, who sat in Hoseok’s lap laughing harder than Jeongguk had ever heard.


	19. Chapter 19

Yoongi and Namjoon had stayed late in the studio, leaving Seokjin and Hoseok to corral the maknaes home. They were all exhausted, but Jimin was in one of his moods in which he was overtired and hyper because of it, so of course Taehyung was wired as well. Which meant that everytime Jeongguk’s head lolled to the side in the car on the way back to their apartment, Taehyung or Jimin pinched him. The two eldest were too tired to yell at them, and Jeongguk was too tired to hit them, so they succeeded in keeping him awake and grumpy until they were shuffling into their apartment. Jimin made his way to the living room and Taehyung dragged Jeongguk after him, still giggling. Every touch from his hyung throughout the day had sent electricity sparking through his hips, and this was no exception. The maknae concealed his whimper by whining, “ _Hyung_ , let me go to bed.”

“Never, Kookie!” Taehyung teased, kissing his cheek.

“Ew,” Jimin batted at Taehyung. “Get a room, you two.”

Jeongguk got sassy when he was tired, so he quipped, “With pleasure.”

Taehyung shot him a devilish grin, “Oh yeah?”

Jeongguk was very aware of the heat that dripped into his stomach at the way Taehyung’s eyes grazed over him. “Shut up, hyung.”

Taehyung’s eyes hardened and he turned to Jimin, “Guess what Jeongguk tried to do this morning.”

Jeongguk launched into Taehyung, slapping a hand over his mouth with a resounding _crack_. Jimin grinned, “Now I have to know.”

“If you want Taehyung to be able to work in the morning, you don’t,” Jeongguk hissed. 

Taehyung pried off the maknae’s fingers, “Kinky.”

Jeongguk lurched away from him, his face on fire. “Y-you know that’s not what I meant!”

Jimin doubled over, his breaths coming in short wheezes through his laughter. “Wow, okay, let’s talk about anything else.”

The three of them collapsed on the couch. Taehyung shifted closer to Jimin, both of them still trying to give the Energizer Bunny a run for his money, and Jeongguk snuggled into his corner, rolling his eyes and pulling out his phone. The two elders burst into fits of laughter at random intervals, but Jeongguk couldn’t make sense of their energetic, half-delirious conversation. After a few minutes, they seemed to run out of whatever fuel that was keeping them going, and Taehyung leaned back against Jeongguk’s side. “Cuddle me, Kookie.”

“Can we do that in our room instead?” Jeongguk groaned, “I don’t understand how you two are so hyper.”

“I’m excited, Kookie!” Jimin whined, throwing his arms up and behind him over the back of the couch. “This album is going to be awesome.”

Jeongguk puffed out an exasperated breath, “It will be if you go get some sleep. Vocal cords don’t work when they’re tired, and neither do legs.”

Jimin stuck his tongue out at the maknae, “Why do you have to be the logical one? You’re the youngest!”

“Which says a lot about you,” Jeongguk shot back. 

Jimin sighed and stood, stretching his arms over his head. “Whatever, Kookie, be a killjoy. Goodnight, cuties.”

He propelled himself into Taehyung and Jeongguk’s laps, wrapping his arms around them, before rolling off and shuffling down the hall. Jeongguk sighed in relief, but it instantly dissolved into a surprised gasp when Taehyung shifted to brush his hand across Jeongguk’s waist. “Bed?” the elder murmured.

“Bed,” Jeongguk squeaked, forgetting how to breathe.

Taehyung stood and tugged the maknae to his feet, twining their fingers together. Jeongguk let him pull him down the hall, trying to stop the heat pouring deep into the pit of his stomach. Taehyung had been a brat all day - first denying him that morning, then teasing him at the studio, and then this fiasco with Jimin - and Jeongguk had to remain strong and just go to sleep. Nothing else.

“How are you feeling, Kookie?” Taehyung whispered into the warm darkness of their room once they were in bed, his voice gravelly and suggestive. 

“What do you mean, hyung?” Jeongguk asked, deciding to play dumb. 

Taehyung shifted against him until his hand was cupped around the younger’s ass. Jeongguk stifled a gasp as Taehyung growled in his ear, “Remember when you decided to ride me and epically failed at it? How are you feeling after that?”

Jeongguk rolled his eyes, “I’m fine.”

“Want to try again? The right way?” Taehyung asked. 

If only Jeongguk wasn’t weak for Taehyung’s voice. If only Taehyung hadn’t teased him with little touches whenever he could at the studio. If only Taehyung acting like a little shit wasn’t such a turn on. If only Jeongguk hadn’t been so _fucking_ horny all day. Then maybe he could get back at Taehyung by saying no. 

Instead, he mewled and pulled Taehyung to his mouth, already feeling the familiar pressure forming between his hips. Taehyung chuckled mischievously and let the maknae tug at him. “Alright, jagiya,” he murmured, sitting up to remove his t-shirt. 

Jeongguk trailed his fingertips down Taehyung’s stomach, wetting his lips. Taehyung lowered himself back down and pressed an open kiss to his mouth, tasting him. He nudged Jeongguk to sit up and then his long fingers eased off his shirt. Jeongguk shivered at the sudden chill that touched his bare skin, but Taehyung’s arms looped around him from behind and a familiar type of heat overtook him as the older boy’s lips found their way to his neck. 

“H-hyung,” Jeongguk whimpered. 

“Yeah, Kookie?” Taehyung whispered, trailing the tip of his tongue up the shell of Jeongguk’s ear. 

“Please…”

Taehyung lowered Jeongguk down beside him on the bed so they were lying on their sides. The maknae tangled his fingers in Taehyung’s hair and the older boy curled his hand around his thigh. Jeongguk gasped as Taehyung tugged his leg up to hook around his hip. “ _Please_ , Taehyung.”

Humming, Taehyung trailed his hand up Jeongguk’s thigh and gently swatted his ass. Jeongguk moaned, subconsciously thrusting himself forward, and the elder growled, “Be patient, Kookie. You’ll get what you want in a minute.”

_Fuck._ Taehyung flipped them so that he was hovering over the maknae. His lips were swollen and Jeongguk reached up to trace them with his index finger. Taehyung’s eyelids fluttered and he bent down to suck on Jeongguk’s throat. The maknae was too distracted by Taehyung’s hand slipping under his waistband to realize that he’d left a hickey there, right in plain sight. 

Suddenly, Jeongguk was free of his sweatpants, and he arched up his pelvis at the predatory glint in Taehyung’s eyes. The older boy pressed a kiss to Jeongguk’s thigh, caressing his hips with his delicate fingers. “Taehyungie,” Jeongguk begged. 

The elder continued to pepper kisses across Jeongguk’s middle, always ghosting over but never properly touching his member. Taehyung pushed himself up onto his hands and knees, eyeing Jeongguk in the darkness, before getting off the bed entirely. Jeongguk mewled, reaching after him, but Taehyung shook his head and went to pull the lube out of his drawer. He turned back to the maknae, but before returning to his side, he picked up one of their discarded t-shirts from the floor and offered it to him. “Bite this.”

Jeongguk frowned at him, “What?”

Taehyung crawled back on top of him, already squeezing lube onto his fingers. “I don’t want the hyungs to hear us.” Jeongguk gasped, bucking his hips, as Taehyung suddenly inserted a finger. “And you’ve proven that you can’t stay quiet.”

“That was my first time, hyung,” Jeongguk said, getting a little desperate. “I’ll be quiet this time. Fuck, Taehyung, _more_.”

Taehyung raised his eyebrows and obeyed, slipping in a second finger. Jeongguk whined at the sensation, and Taehyung said, “Alright. But I swear to god, one peep too loud and I’m taping your mouth shut.”

Jeongguk swallowed at the dominating tone in Taehyung’s voice. He nodded shakily, “Y-yes, hyung.”

Taehyung used his free hand to pinch the bud of Jeongguk’s nipple, eliciting a lewd moan from the maknae. “Kookie,” he warned darkly.

“Sorry, hyung,” Jeongguk whimpered.

The elder hummed and bent down to suck a bruise into Jeongguk’s hip as he added a third finger. Jeongguk winced, but Taehyung’s lips dropped over the head of his cock and he forgot about the burn. “F-fuck, Tae.”

And then all of Taehyung’s fingers were gone, and Jeongguk was clenching around nothingness. Taehyung lifted himself off of him completely, his knees in between Jeongguk’s thighs, and he prepped himself while devouring the maknae with his eyes. Jeongguk squirmed under the intensity of his stare until Taehyung’s gaze flicked to his, asking for permission. Once Jeongguk gave a slight nod, his stomach flexing in preparation, Taehyung pushed inside him until he bottomed out, both of them panting. Jeongguk rutted his hips, but Taehyung splayed his hand firmly on his stomach. “Just...let me feel you for a second, jagi.”

Jeongguk threw his head back, squeezing his eyes shut. “I love you.” 

It was the truest thing he’d ever said.

Taehyung dropped his head on the maknae’s shoulder as he breathed, “I love you too.”

And while Jeongguk was struggling to keep himself still, desperate for friction, Taehyung was musing on the difference between fucking and lovemaking. He could feel himself pulsing deep inside Jeongguk, and the soaring of his heart was an aching reminder of what it felt like to _actually_ soar, through the sky, his wings cutting through the clouds. The wounds on his back tingled under their bandages and he could almost imagine that his fifth and sixth appendages were still there, folded tightly against his spine. And perhaps that’s how he knew in that moment that he was desperately, completely in love with the boy beneath him. He had lost everything, and yet, here in Jeongguk’s arms, it was okay. He was so overwhelmed by it all that he could cry, but then the maknae was whimpering helplessly and Taehyung snapped back to his present reality. He readjusted his grip on Jeongguk’s thighs and pulled out enough to ease the pressure no doubt building in the younger’s body before rocking back inside, slow and deep. Jeongguk exhaled heavily and snaked his arms around Taehyung’s shoulders, holding him tightly to his chest. Taehyung buried his face in the crook of Jeongguk’s neck, his hips grinding into him. 

This was different than their first time. Taehyung had been so needy for the maknae then that he had had a hard time being patient and gentle. It had been a frenzied tangle of limbs and mouths until they climaxed together, which in itself was enough for Taehyung to become addicted to the maknae. 

But this was something new. Something Taehyung had never known before. During their first time together, Taehyung had channeled the experiences he’d had with Raphael to rock Jeongguk’s world as hard as possible. Now, he just wanted to convey how much the maknae meant to him in any way he could. He just wanted to be as close as physically possible. 

Taehyung turned his head to press a hot open-mouthed kiss to Jeongguk’s throat and they moaned together. 

No, this was not at all like their first time. Taehyung clutched Jeongguk harder, suddenly terrified of letting go. “I - shit - I love you so fucking much, Jeongguk.”

The maknae whimpered, lacing his fingers in Taehyung’s hair, “T-Taehyung…”

And there was so much emotion in Jeongguk’s voice as he said the elder’s name that Taehyung almost came right there. He shuddered, stilling for a moment, until Jeongguk rolled his hips against him impatiently. “Hyung, I’m so close.” 

Taehyung lifted himself off of the maknae’s chest to grip the headboard, quickening his pace. Jeongguk’s eyes rolled back and he arched his spine beautifully. Taehyung moaned quietly, reaching in between them to grip Jeongguk’s neglected member. Jeongguk suddenly tightened around him, almost to the point of causing pain, and Taehyung bent down to bite his shoulder, muffling the cry that threatened to escape his lips against the maknae’s flesh. Jeongguk craned his head back into the pillow, and when Taehyung straightened, he noticed how hard the maknae was biting his lip, eyebrows furrowed and eyes squeezed shut. Taehyung frowned - he wanted nothing more than to hear Jeongguk moan as loudly as he wanted, to see his face as his jaw fell open to release the uninhibited sounds of his climax. But they couldn’t, not while their hyungs were sleeping in the other rooms, so Taehyung closed his own eyes as heat built in his stomach, threatening to spill over. He concentrated on keeping it down, refusing to release before Jeongguk. It was becoming unbearable, though, and Taehyung worried that Jeongguk wasn’t enjoying it. He started to slow, but Jeongguk’s hand shot out to grip his arm. “D-don’t stop, hyung,” he whispered. “Don’t fucking stop.”

Readjusting, Taehyung obeyed. Jeongguk’s eyes flipped open and, unable to contain himself, he cried, “Oh, _fuck_ , Taehyung!”

Seokjin was going to kill them in the morning, but Taehyung didn’t care at the moment if they woke their hyungs. He picked up speed, his hand tugging Jeongguk’s member in time, and the maknae shuddered, “I’m gonna - fuck, I’m gonna -”

“Do it, jagi,” Taehyung panted, feeling his own climax nearing. 

Jeongguk’s hands grappled helplessly at the elder’s shoulders when he came, and he chanted Taehyung’s name like it was the only word in the universe. He became unbearably tight around Taehyung and soon fire exploded deep in the elder’s stomach. He rode out his own orgasm until the inferno quelled, leaving him satiated and exhausted. He gingerly lifted his hips, easing out of the maknae, and smiled at the way the younger whimpered once Taehyung left him empty. 

Taehyung knew if he lay down now, he wouldn’t get up until morning, so he forced himself to his feet, “Be right back, jagiya.”

Jeongguk hummed and Taehyung searched blindly for his boxers. He ended up finding Jeongguk’s - he could tell because they were slightly too big on his leaner hips - but didn’t really care as he stumbled across the hall to the bathroom. He cleaned himself up first and then got a washcloth for Jeongguk. The maknae had taken a glass of water to bed with him, so Taehyung decided against getting another one. 

“ _You’re angering me._ ”

Taehyung froze, his hands still under the running water. “Fuck off.”

His voice trembled, though, so Raphael only laughed until his voice faded away completely. Taehyung shook himself, refusing to let the archangel still control him even after he _fucking fell, for Christ’s sake,_ and returned to Jeongguk. The maknae was already half-asleep and only stirred when Taehyung touched him. Taehyung gently wiped him down, making sure every inch of him was clean. “Thank you, hyung,” Jeongguk mumbled. “You always take such good care of me.”

Taehyung’s heart soared and he kicked off his - Jeongguk’s - boxers, shuddering at the chill of the room. He climbed into bed beside his boyfriend, grinning, and pressed a kiss to the younger’s temple as he slipped an arm over his middle, “I always will, Kookie.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter’s a little shorter (not by much though) but it’s kinda sweet so ?

“How come I still feel like my legs are made of jelly?” Jeongguk complained.

Taehyung laughed, his chest vibrating against Jeongguk’s. “Just because we’re dreaming doesn’t mean you aren’t still dealing with post-orgasm symptoms.”

Jeongguk pouted and tugged away from Taehyung’s embrace, taking his hands to pull him to the ground. They sat cross-legged across from each other and Taehyung raised his eyebrows, “Do you have a question?”

“It’s a two-part question, and you have to answer both tonight,” Jeongguk responded.

Taehyung smiled, amused, “Oh yeah? Shoot.”

“What powers did you have as an angel?”

“What’s the second part of that question?”

“What powers do you keep when you fall?”

Taehyung chuckled, “Alright, Kookie, I’ll answer both questions, but don’t get used to it.” Jeongguk rested his chin in his palm, waiting. Taehyung shook his head as a boxy grin spread across his face, “Alright, so, for the first question, I…” he gave a grand pause, eyeing the maknae mischievously, “...could fly.”

Jeongguk slapped his arm and Taehyung fell over laughing. “Hyung, be serious.”

“Sorry, Kookie, you’ll have to forgive me. I just had the best sex of my entire life a few minutes ago, so I’m a little euphoric right now,” Taehyung’s eyes twinkled. 

Heat crept up into Jeongguk’s cheeks and, momentarily distracted, he asked sheepishly, “The best?”

“Did I stutter?” Taehyung cooed, reaching forward to pinch the maknae’s cheek.

Jeongguk batted his hand away. Surely that couldn’t be true. It was only the second time Jeongguk had ever had sex, so how could it be the best? “Okay, I think you’re lying, but thanks. Now, stop stalling.”

Taehyung suddenly frowned, cocking his head, “Why do you think I’m lying?”

“Hyung,” Jeongguk looked at him darkly. At his blank expression, Jeongguk sighed, exasperated, “Nevermind, hyung, thanks for the compliment.”

“Jagi,” Taehyung said quietly, his eyes never wavering from Jeongguk’s. “I’m not lying when I say that that was beyond humanly-possible descriptions. I’m being serious.”

Jeongguk dropped his gaze, chewing his lip. Then, because apparently his brain loved to suffer, he betrayed himself and breathed, “Even better than…him?”

“Stop,” Taehyung ordered, and his voice was suddenly so harsh that Jeongguk looked up to meet his eyes again. “Stop comparing yourself to him. You are everything that he could never be because you are perfect, and even your imperfections are perfect, and he’s a psycho who thinks he can control everyone and everything just because he’s an archangel.” Taehyung’s body shook and Jeongguk shrunk in on himself when he realized the elder was genuinely angry at him. Taehyung spoke quietly when he was pissed, so he murmured, “I’m really trying to move on from my life in heaven, and I’m trying to fall in love with this family without letting the toxicity of my past ruin it, so please shut the fuck up about Raphael and let me heal.”

Jeongguk had never felt smaller in his life. He pulled his knees to his chest, “I’m sorry, hyung.”

Taehyung sighed and dragged his hand down his face. “Just...stop, okay?”

His voice was dull and unfeeling, and Jeongguk almost cried. “I’m really sorry.”

Dropping his hand from his face, Taehyung looked tiredly at the maknae. His eyes softened and he said, “I know, jagi.” He chewed his lip, staring off into the distance a million miles away from the maknae. Jeongguk wished there was somewhere he could cower in shame, but there was nothing besides the white abyss of the dreamscape, so the maknae had nowhere to hide. Finally, Taehyung slowly focused back on him and said quietly, “Come here?”

Jeongguk obeyed, crawling submissively into Taehyung’s lap. The elder sighed and rested his head on the maknae’s shoulder. His arms firmly around Jeongguk’s body, he said matter-of-factly, “So, I could fly.” Jeongguk whipped his head up to eye Taehyung in disbelief. Did he even know how to hold a grudge? “Don’t look at me like that, Kookie, just because you made me angry doesn’t mean that I’m going to break up with you or something. All couples fight.” He cleared his throat, “Anyway, I -”

“Wait,” Jeongguk cut him off, something clogging his throat. Taehyung looked at him impatiently. “We’re a couple now?”

Taehyung opened and shut his mouth, eyebrows furrowing. “What?”

“You’re my boyfriend?” Jeongguk asked incredulously. 

“Kookie,” Taehyung’s lips spread into a disbelieving grin, “I thought you’d figured that out when I was balls deep in -“

“Okay!” Jeongguk buried his face in the elder’s shoulder, eliciting a soft chuckle from him. “I get it, I’m dumb.”

“But cute,” Taehyung promised, and Jeongguk weakly slapped his shoulder. “Can I speak now? I believe I have not one, but _two_ questions to answer tonight.”

“Yes,” Jeongguk slid off his lap to sit across from him, leaning forward expectantly.

“Okay,” Taehyung rolled his shoulders back thoughtfully. “Well, let’s see. I had Sight, which means I could watch all of my wards - Jesus Christ, Jeongguk, not like _that_ , only when they needed a protector. Don’t be gross, it was a sacred job.”

“Sorry,” Jeongguk said, amused.

“And then there was the usual angel stuff. Glamour, which you saw a bit of, I could write a little bit of fate, not much, just enough to give my wards the lives they deserved, though it was a pain in the ass to do because archangels hate changing fate for lesser ranks - am I going to fast?”

“Yes,” Jeongguk nodded. “Stop rambling.”

Taehyung sighed, “Okay, so, back to the original question.” He started to tick off on his fingers, “Flight, Sight, glamour, fate, uh, let me think. I was super strong and had a lot of stamina, but that just comes with flying. Well, the strength doesn’t, that comes from being an angel. My body healed super fast too - like, a bullet could go directly in my heart and it’d heal fast enough that it wouldn’t kill me. And I could shapeshift, which was pretty fun. And I mean, some angels will tell you we - they - have beauty, but I don’t really consider that a power.”

Jeongguk surveyed the ethereal creature in front of him and mused, “I do.”

Taehyung snorted, “Yeah, okay, Kookie. So, that’s about it. Oh, wait!” His eyes lit up in realization, “I could possess people.”

Jeongguk’s eyes widened, “What?”

“I could take over humans for a short amount of time,” Taehyung shrugged. “I only used it once and that was because I didn’t want my ward to get mugged without putting up a fight. She would have died if I hadn’t, and fate had other plans for her.”

The maknae fished for a proper response. “Cool?”

The older boy shrugged, “Yeah, I guess. It was pretty gross. Felt like I was in a meat sack.”

Jeongguk shuddered, “That’s disgusting.”

“Tell me about it.” Taehyung stretched his arms over his head, “As for your second question, I don’t really have anything compared to what I used to have. I still heal pretty quickly, but nowhere near as fast as I used to. Just enough that I don’t need stitches for these pieces of shit,” he jerked his thumb over his shoulder, alluding to his wounds. “So long as they’re cleaned and bandaged, they’ll heal in, uh, I don’t know, maybe a week, two weeks at the most? Ya, what’s that look for? You honestly didn’t think any normal person would have wounds of those proportions that would heal as quickly as mine have, right? Okay, anyway, I have a little bit of glamour, but only enough to cover parts of myself at a time, and only if I focus really hard. And I can’t shapeshift at all, which is a bummer because that was fun.” A far-off look crept into Taehyung eyes, “I used to be able to transform into anything I wanted for as long as I wanted. I once spent two months as a dog because I lost a bet.” He blushed, as if that was embarrassing instead of incredible. “Imagine trying to be taken seriously when you look like a fucking pomeranian.”

Now it was Jeongguk’s turn to snort. “I can’t.”

Taehyung smiled, “Though I must admit, I looked cute as hell.” 

“I bet you did.”

“We should get a pomeranian.”

“Sure, Tae.”

“Yeah? Cool. So anyway, I can’t shapeshift, and I can’t really use glamour very well -”

“So wait, what’s the difference between those two things?”

“I already let you break the rule and ask two questions,” Taehyung scolded. “Don’t push it.”

“Sorry.”

Taehyung ruffled the maknae’s hair affectionately. “Ask tomorrow.”

“I’m planning on it.”

“I figured. Let’s see, okay, no shapeshifting, no flying for obvious reasons, not a lot of glamour -” Taehyung pursed his lips, deep in thought. “I have the strength of a human now, which is probably for the best. But I’ve still got above average stamina,” he wiggled his eyebrows, but before Jeongguk could roll his eyes, he deflated. “Though I’m sure that’ll go away once my body forgets how to fly.”

There was a deep, inconsolable sadness in Taehyung voice as he said that, and Jeongguk lifted himself onto his hands and knees and crawled around to Taehyung’s back. The elder turned his head to look quizzically at him. “What are you doing, jagiya?”

“Distracting you,” Jeongguk said, pushing himself up to sit on his heels before reaching forward to massage Taehyung’s shoulders. 

“Distracting me?”

“Like I used to do,” Jeongguk explained, “when the pain was really bad.”

Taehyung hummed, slumping forward. “I love you a lot, Kookie, you know that?”

Jeongguk smiled, feeling a blush creep up his face, and kissed the back of Taehyung’s neck. “I love you too, Tae.”

“I like you calling me that,” Taehyung mused.

Jeongguk wetted his lips, “Then I’ll keep doing it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Hope you liked this chapter. I honestly didn’t expect this to get as much attention as it has, and I really really appreciate every comment, kudo, and hit I’ve gotten! I purple you all <3


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally forgot to say this, but I wanted to give a little disclaimer about the ages. I’m writing this as if it’s present day, just on a different timeline. However, I’m an American and though I have researched the Korean age system, I’m not comfortable enough in my limited knowledge to use it confidently in my stories, which is why Tae is 22 and not...24? Is that math right? Okay, see, there we go. I didn’t want to get it wrong. Okay, disclaimer over, please enjoy this chapter!

Jeongguk woke up before Taehyung with a rumbling stomach. He sighed and eased himself out of his boyfriend’s arms. _Boyfriend_. His heart stuttered at the thought. Scratching his head, he put on his sweatpants and a t-shirt and then made his way out to the kitchen. Seokjin, as usual, was already in there, waiting for a cup of coffee to brew. Jeongguk mumbled, “Morning, hyung.”

“Good morning, Koo - oh you have got to be kidding me,” Seokjin turned to greet the maknae, but his eyes widened as soon as he saw him. 

Jeongguk’s eyebrows knitted together, “What?”

“You can’t seriously not know - you know what, Kookie, just go look at yourself,” Seokjin shook his head, turning back to the coffee maker. 

Confused, Jeongguk turned to go see himself in the bathroom mirror. As he walked, he passed Hoseok, who snorted loudly into his hand. Jeongguk frowned, “What, hyung?”

“Nothing, nothing,” Hoseok said, continuing down the hall to the kitchen. 

There was a moment of silence before Seokjin and Hoseok both burst out laughing in the kitchen. Jeongguk debated going back and asking what their problem was, but decided to obey his eldest hyung and go look in the mirror instead. He knocked on the bathroom door before pushing inside. Namjoon was in the shower and peeked out to see who it was. But as soon as he registered Jeongguk’s features, his eyes widened and he ducked back into the shower, trying and failing to hide a snicker. Jeongguk frowned, starting to get irritated, until he turned and saw his reflection. He squinted and rubbed away the mist that had accumulated on the glass. His eyes popped out of his skull once he could see himself clearly. 

“KIM TAEHYUNG, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!” 

“Language!” Seokjin shouted from the kitchen, still chortling. 

Jeongguk slammed his way out of the bathroom and marched across the hall and into his bedroom, the laughter of all of his awake hyungs following him. Taehyung was slowly stirring when Jeongguk entered, blinking innocently. Normally, Jeongguk would melt on the spot, but he was too pissed. Taehyung squinted up at him, “Wha -“

“What the hell is this?” Jeongguk jutted his chin out, pointing accusingly at the dark purple mark on his throat. 

Taehyung was half awake, searching for a response that wouldn’t end with him getting his ass kicked. As much as he loved when Jeongguk manhandled him - though he’d never actually tell him that - he really didn’t feel like waking up to it. “A love bite?”

“Yeah, and why is it on my _fucking neck?_ ” Jeongguk snapped. 

“Because…” Taehyung worked his jaw, stalling. “Because it’s pretty there?”

Jeongguk hesitated, unprepared for that response. But then he heard laughter much closer than before and he turned to see Jimin and Hoseok in the doorway, laughing their heads off. Shit. 

“Taetae,” Jimin snorted, grabbing Hoseok’s arm for support, “did you just call a hickey a _love bite?_ ”

Jeongguk grabbed at his hair in frustration and shouted at Taehyung, “I’m going to kill you!”

“Don’t kill him, Kookie, we’d miss him!” Hoseok cried, making Jimin laugh even harder. 

“At least wait until I’ve had breakfast,” Taehyung said. He glanced over at the two boys in the doorway and whispered, “Kookie, can you hand me my boxers?” A wicked grin spread across Jeongguk’s face and Taehyung’s eyes widened, “Kookie, don’t you dare -“

With a flourish, Jeongguk yanked the blanket off of the bed. Jimin and Hoseok snorted at the same time and stumbled off down the hall, wheezing hard enough that Jeongguk wasn’t entirely sure they were breathing. Taehyung’s knees shot up to his chest, fire igniting in his cheeks, and he glared up at the maknae, “Rude.”

Jeongguk crossed his arms, not budging. “Talk to me about ‘rude’ after this thing goes away.” 

Taehyung released an exasperated laugh, running a hand through his messy hair. He was still naked, and try as he might, Jeongguk couldn’t ignore that fact. The maknae blushed and dropped his eyes. Taehyung noticed and grinned evilly, and, before Jeongguk could register what was happening, he released his knees and fell back on the bed. The maknae slapped a hand over his face, embarrassed at the mewl that ripped unbidden from his throat, as Taehyung let his eyes slip shut. “I’m going to go back to sleep for a few. See you in a bit, jagiya.”

“Oh no you’re not,” Jeongguk snapped, steeling himself and reaching out to grab the older boy’s arm. Taehyung yelped indignantly as the maknae yanked him to his feet. “You’re going to get dressed and go out and face our hyungs with me. You caused this problem,” Jeongguk pointed to his neck fiercely, “and now you get to go with me to face the consequences.”

“You loved it, Kookie,” Taehyung said as he pulled on the pants Jeongguk threw at him. 

“Whether I enjoyed it or not doesn’t matter,” Jeongguk growled. 

“Oh yeah?” Taehyung grinned and leaned sinfully close to Jeongguk’s ear. “Because I distinctly remember you begging for it last night.” Jeongguk glared at him and Taehyung leaned back, chuckling. 

When they poked into the kitchen, Jimin, Hoseok, and Seokjin were still giggling. The eldest looked up as they entered and said into his coffee, “So now we know who’s the kinky one.”

Jeongguk stared at him, “What?”

“ _Ohh, fuck, Taehyung_ ,” Jimin mocked in a high-pitched voice, throwing his head back, “ _don’t stop, please don’t stop!_ ” 

He followed up his performance with a loud exaggerated moan, squeezing his eyes shut in what appeared to be an O-face, and Jeongguk took the opportunity to punch the hard flesh of his stomach. Jimin let out a “ _hunh_ ” and keeled forward before shooting his arm out to snake around the maknae’s waist. They wrestled each other to the ground, but Jeongguk finally ended up on top of him, jabbing and tickling until he was gasping and begging him to stop. “I do _not_ sound like that!” 

“He sounds much sexier,” Taehyung said unhelpfully, sliding into the seat by Hoseok. 

Hoseok wrinkled his nose and said, “I’m pretty sure I heard ‘daddy’ at some point too.”

“There is no way in _hell_ , hyung!” Jeongguk squeaked loudly, his face on fire. 

Hoseok shrugged and took a bite from his apple, “Maybe I was just imagining that. But still, seriously guys, invest in a gag. Rope. Tape. Something, I don’t really care. Hobi needs his sleep if he’s gonna keep up a sunny image.”

Seokjin shook his head, sipping his coffee. Taehyung mused, “Yeah, it won’t happen again, I promise.”

Jeongguk shuddered at the dark way Taehyung looked at him. 

Namjoon walked into the kitchen. “Yoongi stayed at the studio last night. You know how that guy is when he gets on a roll.” His eyes found their way to Jeongguk, who had stood and was now helping Jimin to his feet, and Taehyung. “Everyone sleep alright?”

So at least two of the hyungs, Namjoon and Yoongi, hadn’t heard them. Jimin snorted, but Jeongguk lifted his fist and he cowered away, grinning. Seokjin eyed Namjoon, “Don’t even go there.” 

Namjoon flipped his palms up in surrender. “Alright, alright.”

Jeongguk bowed his head, “I _am_ sorry, hyungnim. I didn’t mean to wake you guys up.”

“It’s not all your fault, Kookie,” Taehyung added. “And I’m sorry too.” 

Seokjin nodded, satisfied. “Let’s try to leave in ten.”

“I haven’t even showered yet, hyung,” Taehyung whined. 

“Then I guess you better hurry,” Seokjin said, his voice sugary and innocent. 

Jeongguk followed Taehyung into the bathroom and hopped in first, scrubbing himself quickly. Seokjin would murder them if they were late. Taehyung laughed at how quickly he worked, but Jeongguk just stuck his tongue out at him and finished. He jumped out and rubbed himself raw with a towel in his haste. Once he was dressed and his teeth were brushed, he turned to Taehyung, who was struggling to wriggle into his skinny jeans. “Where’s your concealer?” 

“What?”

“You owe me,” Jeongguk pouted.

Taehyung rolled his eyes, “Okay, Kookie, let’s think about this. Why would I, someone who used to be a literal angel, own concealer?”

The older boy nudged him out of the way to stand before the mirror, grabbing his toothbrush. Jeongguk blinked and then dropped his forehead on Taehyung’s shoulder. “I hate you.”

“I love you too,” Taehyung chuckled, reaching up to pat the maknae’s head. Jeongguk straightened and his eyes traveled to the mark on his throat. He glanced over and met Taehyung’s gaze, swallowing. The older boy smirked around his toothbrush, “Personally, I think it’s cute. I want to put more of those on you.”

“Not where people can _see_ , you maniac,” Jeongguk groaned.

Taehyung shrugged and continued brushing his teeth. Jeongguk rolled his eyes and elbowed him out of the way so he could look in the cupboard for someone else’s concealer. It was a well-known fact among the members that Jeongguk didn’t buy his own makeup. Why would he when he had the same skin tone as Jimin and Seokjin? If being the maknae meant he could get away with stuff like that, then he was going to take full advantage. The hyungs didn’t like having their stuff used without permission, though, and none of them would give permission if the maknae asked, so Jeongguk always did it secretly and only when he absolutely had to.

He finally found what he was searching for and straightened. Taehyung raised his eyebrows at him as he squeezed some concealer onto his fingertips. “Aren’t you not supposed to apply makeup with your hand?”

Jeongguk shot him a dirty look in the mirror. “Shut up, Tae.”

“Aren’t you not supposed to share makeup?”

“Good lord, we _shower_ together. Any germs in the makeup are already in every crevice on my body.” 

Taehyung wrinkled his nose and bent to spit into the sink. “Gross, Kookie.”

Jeongguk shrugged and continued applying Jimin’s concealer to his throat. Taehyung touched his back gently as he left the bathroom, sending a shiver up the maknae’s spine. Jeongguk shook his head, trying to clear the clouds forming in his skull, and squinted at himself. He could still make out a slight discoloration in his skin, but any cameras that followed them would only see a shadow, not a hickey. Hopefully. He bit his lip, considering taking the concealer with him, but then realized it wasn’t worth Jimin finding out and tossed the bottle back into the cupboard.

Jimin frowned when Jeongguk exited the bathroom. “Taetae told on you.”

“I’m actually going to kill him today.”

Jimin snickered, “Come on, we have less than a minute before Jinnie-hyung leaves without us.”

Jeongguk’s eyes widened and he jogged after Jimin down the hall to where everyone was waiting. Jimin already had his shoes on, so the hyungs just stood and quietly waited as Jeongguk grabbed his Converse. He struggled to yank them on over his heels, but ended up tripping and falling back against Seokjin. The eldest snorted and grabbed under Jeongguk’s arms. Taehyung stepped closer, “Here, jagi.”

The maknae blushed at the nickname, but his hyungs thankfully didn’t react at all. Jeongguk let Seokjin help him back to his feet and Taehyung knelt to ease his shoes on. Jeongguk bit his lip as Taehyung lifted one foot onto his knee and began to tie his laces. “Hyung, I can do that myself.”

The elder ignored him and Namjoon opened the door. “Hurry up, you two, time to go.”

Taehyung released Jeongguk’s first foot and pulled up the second. “Ready whenever you are, hyung.”

Namjoon nodded at the blonde-haired boy and led the members out the door. Once finished with Jeongguk’s last shoe, Taehyung took the hand Jeongguk offered him and stood. They ran off after their hyungs, catching them at the elevator.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANGST

Jeongguk sunk against the wall of the dance studio, his head leaning back. His heart was slowly calming down, as were his ragged breaths, and he wiped at his soaked forehead with the back of his hand. Hoseok came over and offered him a water bottle, which he gladly accepted. “Thanks, hyung,” he said after taking a swig. 

He handed the bottle back and Hoseok sipped at it thoughtfully. “What do you think, Kookie?”

Jeongguk shrugged, “It’ll be fine once we figure out the leg part. There has to be an easier way for that, you know?”

Hoseok nodded, resting his hand on his hip. Jimin came over to stand with them so the dance line could actually do something productive on their break, and Jeongguk pushed himself to his feet with a tired groan. Namjoon and Seokjin were across the studio, trying to figure the dance out together, and Taehyung and Yoongi were leaning against each other’s backs on the floor, Yoongi’s head rolling back to rest on Taehyung’s shoulder. Jeongguk worried that Taehyung’s wounds could be irritated from the pressure, but the older boy shot him a reassuring, albeit small, smile. Advanced healing, right. Jeongguk turned back to his conversation with Jimin and Hoseok. 

“What if, instead of -” Jimin dropped into one of the steps, his arms up in front of him and his legs spread “- and then going to this -” he flipped his arms around and brought his feet together “- we just shortened it and, instead of landing, we just keep weight on one foot and just sort of roll into it?” 

Hoseok tried it and hummed, “It’s definitely easier.”

“But it doesn’t really have the same impact, visually speaking,” Jeongguk crossed his arms over his chest. 

“And it will look kind of weird with the timing,” Jimin added, deflating. “Sorry, guys, I thought I had it.”

Hoseok patted his back affectionately, “No problem, Chimchim, any idea is a good idea at this point.” He lowered his voice, “Between us three, I’m getting a little frustrated. It’s not like this is the ‘Fire’ choreography.”

Jimin and Jeongguk offered tired chuckles, wincing at the memories of dancing the exact same move over and over for hours at a time until even Jeongguk had tears in his eyes when they were finally finished. 

The choreography they were learning wasn’t even for a song that was for sure going to be on the album they were working on. Jeongguk prayed that it would be, simply so he wouldn’t punch the wall over the wasted hours learning this god-forsaken dance. The song had a melody that Taehyung helped create, so Jeongguk tried really hard not to hate it. And of course he didn’t, not really, but at the moment, his thighs were burning and he was ready to scream out of frustration, and if he couldn’t take it out on a physical object, he’d take it out on the music. 

“Ready to try again, guys?” Hoseok sighed.

The younger dancers nodded mutely and Hoseok clapped his hands, stepping away from their huddle. “Ready to get back at it, everyone?”

Taehyung gently lifted his shoulder, coaxing Yoongi awake, and Namjoon and Seokjin ended their conversation and joined the rest. Once everyone had their places, the coordinator turned on the track.

Jeongguk sighed and forced himself to get lost in the melody, to feel how Taehyung’s fingers formed and massaged the notes until they were perfect, and gradually he was able to ignore the burning in his legs and abs. When he had to freeze for two measures with his center of gravity obnoxiously off-kilter, his torso folded back so that his head hung upside down with his arms stretched towards the sky - a pose that had made him crack his head against the floor too many times to count today alone - he somehow found that the muscles in his abdomen constricted until they held him tightly upright, rigid in the position until it was time to jerk up and twist around. He let his body take over for his brain until the part he, Jimin, and Hoseok had been worried about. The move was just too big for such a short amount of time, and there was a loud thud. Jeongguk lowered his leg until both feet rested on the ground and blinked down at the pile of Namjoon that was now underneath him. The leader slapped a hand over his face, “I’m sorry, guys.”

The maknae helped him to his feet and Jimin forced a smile, “That’s alright. Want to go again?”

“Do you want my honest answer?” Yoongi grumbled.

Seokjin sighed, “Look guys, I know we have to figure this out eventually, and we will, but I think it’s a dud right now. Why don’t we take a break from this?”

“We just took a break,” Jeongguk pointed out under his breath.

Agitated, Seokjin threw his hands up, “Fine, Jeongguk, you can practice until you figure out what the hell the rest of us are doing wrong. Until then, I have other work I can do, and I’m pretty sure everyone else does too.”

The maknae dropped his gaze and immediately apologized. “I’m just...frustrated with myself, is all.” 

Seokjin rested his hand on Jeongguk’s shoulder, “We’re all frustrated, Kookie, don’t take all the blame on yourself. Let’s just walk away before we start getting angry, okay?”

Jeongguk nodded and flinched in surprise as arms, somehow strong and light at the same time, wrapped around his shoulders. Taehyung murmured, “I wanted to ask for your help with a song anyway, jagiya.”

The maknae nodded, giving in, and let his boyfriend lace their fingers together and pull him out of the practice room. Yoongi was already ahead of them, disappearing into his office, and Taehyung tugged Jeongguk into the maknae’s studio. He didn’t have a completed space of his own yet, so Jeongguk was sharing his for the time being. Taehyung locked the door behind them and dropped into the chair, but instead of turning towards the computer, he pulled Jeongguk down into his lap. The maknae gasped, straightening against his hyung, “Tae, what are you -”

“I don’t like how stressed you are, sweet boy,” Taehyung crooned, rubbing his hands up and down Jeongguk’s bare arms. “Let me distract you for a bit. Please?”

Jeongguk’s eyelids fluttered shut and he relaxed into Taehyung’s warm embrace. Goosebumps rose along his arms as Taehyung pressed a gentle kiss to his jaw. “O-okay, hyung.”

Taehyung murmured unintelligibly against Jeongguk’s skin, slipping his hands under the younger’s shirt. Jeongguk stiffened - he wasn’t really in the mood at the moment. Taehyung, seeming to read his mind, whispered, “Let me just touch you, jagiya. I want to get rid of all this tension.” 

Accenting his point, Taehyung took his knuckles and dug them into a knot in Jeongguk’s lower back. The maknae whimpered, dropping his head on his hyung’s shoulder. Taehyung shushed him soothingly and continued to work on his sore muscles, easing his body with every brush of his hand. Each time Jeongguk winced as Taehyung worked at the knots littered over his muscles, the elder pressed a sweet kiss to his cheek, his ear, his jaw. Jeongguk melted completely into Taehyung and rested his cheek on the elder’s shoulder, their chests pressed together and his knees on either side of the elder’s thighs.

“That’s it, Kookie, just relax. We’ll figure it out, this dance isn’t the end of the world.” Taehyung sensed the maknae tense up at that and raked his fingers down Jeongguk’s back.

This dance might not be the end of the world, but to Jeongguk it was pretty close. He was supposed to be the Golden Maknae - supposed to be good at everything. Finding things he couldn’t do right away upset him, especially when it involved singing or dancing. 

Taehyung brought up a hand to card through Jeongguk’s sweaty hair, humming a soft song that only he knew. Jeongguk listened closely, trying to block out his anxiety and irritation, and puffed out a soft breath. He resituated himself in Taehyung’s lap so that his legs hung over one armrest and his upper body was leaning into the elder’s chest, his head in the crook of Taehyung’s neck. He hooked his elbow around the elder’s shoulder, securing himself, as Taehyung brought up his arms to barricade his upper body in place. With that, the maknae let himself close his eyes, the sound of Taehyung’s heartbeat lulling him into a stupor. 

It didn’t take long for Jeongguk to fall asleep. Taehyung slowed his ministrations on the boy’s back, listening to him softly mumble in his sleep, and smiled. He eased them into a more comfortable position, careful not to wake up the sleeping boy, and wrapped his arms around him so that he wouldn’t fall off. With that, he slowly twisted the chair around to face the computer and logged in. He was excited to get his own studio soon, but for now he was happy to share the small, organized space with his lover. Careful not to jostle the maknae, Taehyung clicked open the file he’d been working on over the past couple of weeks and squinted as the program started up. He eased the headphones onto his head, keeping its cord far away from Jeongguk, and set to work. It didn’t take long to find a rhythm for himself, and soon the minutes were passing without notice. 

“ _What are you working on, little one?_ ”

Taehyung flinched and slowly lowered the headphones. He looked up and gasped at the achingly familiar face. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

Raphael gently gripped Taehyung’s chin, grinning cruelly. “ _You are so insistent on having this crush, aren’t you? It’d be cute if it weren’t for a human._ ”

If Taehyung was alone, he would have run away. Even now, he struggled to stay seated. He looked down at the maknae in his arms and stiffened his arms around him. Because it was the only thing he could think to say, Taehyung snarled, “If you wake him up, I swear to god, I’ll rip out your wings myself.”

Raphael snickered and pressed a kiss to Taehyung’s forehead that burned. The fallen angel glared up at the archangel, “Don’t touch me again.”

“ _What is my darling little one going to do about it?_ ” Raphael leaned close and Taehyung fought the tremble that rocked through his body. “ _I own you, Taehyung._ ”

“Not anymore, you don’t,” Taehyung snapped, being careful to keep his voice down.

“ _Oh?_ ” Raphael straightened, amused. “ _And who does? This human? You don’t mean that._ ”

“He loves me,” Taehyung growled low in his throat, tightening his hold on Jeongguk’s peaceful form. “And I him. And I won’t let you hurt him.” He cracked a humorless smile, “Isn’t meddling like this against the rules, anyway?”

Raphael sniffed, tilting his nose up arrogantly. “ _Come now, Taehyung. We both know that I would never be punished._ ”

“Yeah, thanks for reminding me,” Taehyung responded dryly. “If I remember properly, you’re the one who gave the order to tear out my wings in the first place.”

The archangel shrugged coldly, “ _You broke a rule. And don’t forget, you’re awful close to breaking one again._ ” Raphael reached down and stroked a finger down Jeongguk’s cheek. Taehyung’s hand jerked forward and grabbed his wrist. He ignored the sting and Raphael snorted, “ _Is this creature really worth it? You could be with me again. I miss you, little one._ ”

“Then you can miss me until I die,” Taehyung retorted, struggling to act unfazed. 

Raphael raised his eyebrows, gazing down at the sleeping boy in Taehyung’s arms. “ _I do not see its appeal. No matter, I’ll see you soon, Taehyung._ ”

“Fuck you,” Taehyung said into the emptiness of the room, his voice cracking on the last syllable. 

When he was sure the archangel was completely gone, he slumped against Jeongguk and bit his lip, fighting off tears. He didn’t straighten until he was sure he was okay - well, not _okay_ , but as normal as possible - and he held the maknae as tightly as he could without hurting him. He wanted to run, to cry, to scream, but he couldn’t while Jeongguk was asleep, and that was all that was tethering him to the here and now. 

_I miss you._

A part of Taehyung - a deep, forbidden part that still clung to his past - liked that the archangel wanted him back. Raphael was familiar, whereas this life and love with Jeongguk and the other members was all foreign and new. But that old life was also toxic, filled with nails that dug into his hips and laughter that followed his cries. Yet he couldn’t help noting that the fear he had with Raphael was sometimes easier than the fear he had as a member of BTS. It was constant, unchanging, and predictable. Being an idol was a roiling mass of excitement and terror and fumbling. He was happier than he’d ever been - happier than he ever knew was possible - but he was still so scared. What if he screwed it all up? What if he ruined it?

Taehyung shook his head, blinking away tears at just how fucked up he was. 

Jeongguk stirred in his arms and Taehyung quickly threw on a brittle smile. The maknae blinked up at him. He offered a sleepy grin and Taehyung wished he could fling himself into his dark eyes and drown in them. “Hey you,” Jeongguk’s gravelly voice was laced with unadulterated love and Taehyung fought the urge to let himself cry. “How long was I asleep?”

Taehyung glanced at the clock on the computer, “Not long, about an hour.”

Jeongguk straightened, his joints cracking, and stretched his arms and legs out in front of him. Taehyung steadied his back, splaying his hand across his t-shirt. When he was done, Jeongguk settled back against Taehyung’s chest and looked at the computer. “What are you working on?”

Taehyung set the headphones over Jeongguk’s ears, “Want to listen?”

Jeongguk hummed, shutting his eyes, and Taehyung moved his cursor to the beginning of the melody and hit Play. Jeongguk’s eyes opened briefly, shooting Taehyung an affectionate look, before he closed them again to focus on listening. Taehyung so desperately wished to kiss him.

When the first verse finished, Taehyung stopped the music and Jeongguk removed the headphones, nodding, “I really like it, Tae.”

“Yeah?” Taehyung asked sheepishly.

“Yeah,” Jeongguk smiled and Taehyung gazed into his gentle eyes, willing himself to forget Raphael’s visit. Jeongguk suddenly frowned, “What’s wrong, Tae?”

Taehyung shook his head, scrambling for a response. “I’m just thinking - thinking about how lucky I am.”

Jeongguk smiled and wrapped his arms around Taehyung’s neck. “Keep working, hyung, I just want to cuddle you a bit longer if that’s alright.”

Even through his remaining terror, Taehyung’s heart soared when Jeongguk kissed his cheek, lingering and sweet against his skin.


	23. Chapter 23

“I gotta be honest with you, Kookie, I thought for sure you were going to kill me at some point today,” Taehyung smiled. “You must really like me.”

Jeongguk pursed his lips. Taehyung had been unusually...cheery, even for him. It was glaringly fake. His smile was too wide, his laugh too loud. What was he hiding? When they were awake, Jeongguk was too delirious from exhaustion to question it too deeply, but now that they were in the safety of their dreamscape, he ignored Taehyung’s teasing and said instead, “I know you’re keeping something from me.”

Taehyung’s wooden smile faltered, “I would never -“

“Taehyung,” Jeongguk said darkly. The elder winced at the use of his full first name. 

“Kookie,” he said slowly. “Please, just...I can’t talk.” 

Jeongguk stared at him. “That can’t possibly be true.”

“Well, it is,” Taehyung twitched, scratching at the back of his neck. 

“You can,” Jeongguk said slowly, “you just won’t.”

“Yes, exactly,” Taehyung said. 

“Why not?”

Taehyung’s eyes fell to the fists he had made in his lap. When he looked back up at Jeongguk, there were hurricanes in his eyes. “I’m scared.”

“Me too,” Jeongguk said truthfully. When Taehyung gave him a questioning look, he elaborated, “I’m scared because there’s something you won’t tell me, and I’m scared that I did something to make you feel like you can’t trust me.”

Taehyung raised his eyebrows before releasing a shaky, humorless laugh. “No, it’s not you. It’s me, and I know that’s cliche, but it’s actually true.” He looked away again and muttered, “I’m just really...fucked up, and I don’t want to make you angry or scare you away.” 

Jeongguk knitted his eyebrows together, “Did I go too far today? I was exaggerating how angry I was about the hickey. And even if I wasn’t, you couldn’t scare me away.”

Taehyung said carefully, “You don’t know that.”

“Yeah, actually, I do,” Jeongguk scooted closer, but Taehyung stiffened, so he stopped. “Tae, jagiya, please talk to me.”

The elder hugged himself, squeezing his eyes shut. Finally, after a moment, he murmured, “I can’t.” Jeongguk sighed and looked down at his lap. After a moment, Taehyung whispered, “I-I’m sorry.”

Jeongguk’s head snapped up and his eyes widened. Taehyung rubbed fiercely at his eyes and Jeongguk reached out to cup the elder’s face in his hand. When Taehyung met his eyes, he said, “You can’t scare me away. You _can’t_. And there’s nothing to apologize for, so don’t. If you can’t talk, then you can’t talk. That’s the end of it. For now.” He offered a small smirk with that last bit, but Taehyung didn’t return it. “Hey, hyung, look at me. Can I see your smile? You’re so pretty when you’re happy, it makes me want to just eat you up.” He nuzzled Taehyung’s cheek at that, making the elder grin despite himself. “What can I do to distract you?” 

Taehyung eyed him. Then, fidgeting with the hem of his pants, he suddenly asked, “What do you like about me?”

Jeongguk blinked in surprise, “What?”

Taehyung frowned, “You heard me.”

“I like lots of things about you, Tae,” Jeongguk said.

Deflating, Taehyung said, “Forget it.”

Jeongguk grabbed his wrist, capturing his attention. “Now wait just a minute, hyung. I’m thinking about how I can put your perfection into words, and I’m not really good at expressing my emotions out loud, so I’m sorry if it takes me a minute.” The older boy blushed at that. Jeongguk finally said, “Um, okay. Let’s see,” he paused thoughtfully. “I’m going to tell you the things I love instead. So, uh, I love the way you fix your hair. And I love that you can tease the hyungs and they love you too much to do anything about it. And, uh, I love your little mole right here,” Jeongguk hesitantly bent forward and kissed the small blemish on his cheek, eliciting a shaky inhale. “And the one on your nose,” a kiss to the named feature, getting a little braver. “And I love your eyes,” Taehyung’s lids fluttered shut and Jeongguk ghosted his lips over them. “I love the way they widen and your mouth opens just a little when you’re confused. I love when you get sassy with me, even though I don’t act like I do. I love when you tease me, and when you play with my hair and my ears, and when, when,” Jeongguk wetted his lips, overtaken with urgency, “uh, when you smile really wide and it looks like a rectangle. I love that a lot. And when you jump on me for a piggyback ride without asking, and when you walk behind me with your arms wrapped around my chest, which makes it almost impossible to walk but I don’t care because it just means we’re as close as we can get without taking clothes off,” Taehyung snorted softly and Jeongguk grinned. “And speaking of taking clothes off,” the maknae tackled the boy backwards, laying on his chest, “I love how gentle you are with me, but I also absolutely love it when you show your dominant side. Like, please do that more often. In life, and especially in bed.” Taehyung blushed, running his index finger down the maknae’s jaw. “You’re so incredible, Taehyung, and I’m not sure how I can show you how much you mean to me, but I’ll keep trying until you can at least get a vague idea.”

Taehyung didn’t speak for a long time. He smiled softly, his eyes both far, far away and right in front of him at the same time as he gazed at Jeongguk. The maknae stared right back, for once not feeling awkward. The atmosphere reminded him of the first time they had sex, when they had met eyes and realized that they both wanted something they shouldn’t have to wait for anymore. 

And then they were kissing, slow and gentle, and Jeongguk gasped as Taehyung rolled them over so he was on top. The elder took the opportunity to slip his tongue in between his lips, evoking a strangled moan. Before he went any further, though, Taehyung whispered, “Let’s wake up.” 

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

Jeongguk had a harder time pulling himself out of his slumber than Taehyung did. Usually, he needed help. Taehyung tapped his arm gently and Jeongguk’s eyelids fluttered. The maknae offered a sleepy smile, “Hey.”

Taehyung’s tongue poked out nervously between his lips, “Did you mean all of that?”

Jeongguk blinked, and then his small smile spread into a grin. “Of course I did. You’re everything to me.”

Taehyung looked away bashfully. “O-Okay. Uh, I guess I can try to...to tell you what’s wrong.”

Hope bloomed in Jeongguk’s chest and he sat up with the elder, the blankets pooling around his bare waist. Taehyung watched them fall before turning his attention to his lap. “I just - I keep thinking about - about him. R-Raphael. And how he used to, uh, hurt. Hurt me.” Hope was replaced by fury at the idea as Taehyung twirled the blankets in his fingers, “And how there’s - there’s this part of me, and I don’t get it because I know it’s wrong - there’s this part of me that...that kind of...I don’t know, misses it? Like, uh,” he let out a shaky breath. “I guess, like, I know he’s scary and cruel and doesn’t love me, but I - I want him to. But then,” Jeongguk forced himself to ignore the pounding of his heart to hear the rest of Taehyung’s speech, “then I’m with you and our hyungs, and I’m even more scared, which doesn’t make any sense at all because you’re all so good to me, but I think that’s part of the problem. I don’t know, Kook. I’m just fucked up and I wouldn't blame you if you left me now.” 

Jeongguk tentatively brought his hand up to cup Taehyung’s face. The older boy looked shyly at him as he said, “You’re not...you’re not _fucked up_ , Tae, you just were in an emotionally taxing relationship for so long that it’s all you know. I think you should,” Jeongguk hesitated before pressing on, “I think you should see a therapist or something. Our managers have plenty of contacts. This isn’t healthy for you.”

Taehyung snorted miserably, “Yeah, great idea. Tell a therapist that hey, I used to be a guardian angel, but my manipulative and abusive boyfriend used me and long story short, he ordered other angels to rip my wings out, and now I can’t stop thinking about him even though -“

“Hyung,” Jeongguk said fiercely, shutting him up. “You don’t have to tell them that. Just tell them about the relationship itself and how you feel. That’s how that works.”

His voice impossibly small, Taehyung murmured, “Angels are supposed to be perfect, though. They’re not supposed to have to go...to get help.”

“Then…” the maknae hesitated. This was New Territory, and he wasn’t entirely sure how to proceed. “Then I guess, uh, it’s a good thing you aren’t one anymore.”

Taehyung looked at him, his expression unreadable. “A bird without wings is still a bird. I mean, I’m not exactly an angel anymore, but I’m not a human either.” When Jeongguk didn’t respond right away, he whimpered, “Does that bother you?”

Jeongguk blinked, shocked, before pulling his hyung into a tight embrace. “No, sweetheart, it doesn’t. I swear to you on my life that it doesn’t. I love you, and nothing you or Raphael does will change that.” Then, slowly, he pressed, “I would be so proud of you if you went to get professional help, Taetae. I want us to have a relationship filled with nothing but love and happiness, and I don’t want that piece of shit to keep messing with it.” 

“But -” Taehyung quivered and Jeongguk realized he was actually crying. He moved to touch him, but Taehyung brought his knees up to his chest and choked out, “But it won’t help.”

“Why not?” Jeongguk asked.

“Because he -” Taehyung heaved in a shaky breath, “Because he - he - he _talks_ to me, Jeongguk. He won’t leave me alone.”

Before he could stop himself, Jeongguk blurted, “You too?”

Taehyung’s head snapped up, his glistening eyes meeting the maknae’s in disbelief. “W-what?”

“Yeah, he, uh -” Jeongguk ran a shaky hand through his hair. “Remember when I stayed late?” Taehyung didn’t respond, but Jeongguk continued anyway, “He kind of...appeared? I guess? It was weird. I don’t know how I knew it was him, but it was.”

“What did he say?” Taehyung murmured.

Jeongguk furrowed his eyebrows, stiffening, “Um, he said I was a phase and that you didn’t really love me.”

“Oh, Kookie!” Taehyung threw himself against the maknae, startling him. “It’s not t-true,” he sobbed into Jeongguk’s chest, “tell me you didn’t believe him, please, it’s not true. He’s sadistic and cruel and -”

“Tae,” Jeongguk said gently, carding his fingers through the elder’s hair. “You love me. I know that. I - at first, I wasn’t sure because, well, you’re an angel and why the hell would you settle for me? Heh,” he offered a humorless chuckle, resting his palms on Taehyung’s back, “but I guess you’re desperate because you haven’t let me go yet.” When the elder weakly punched his stomach, Jeongguk smiled, “There we go, Taetae. Hey, can you look at me?” The maknae didn’t continue until Taehyung obeyed. “You love me, okay? And I love you. I just get nervous because...uh, I know it’s stupid, but there’s a little part of me that knows that no matter what you say, I’m just a human, you know? I’m not special like an archangel, even a disgusting one. Don’t say it’s not true because that’s a lie. I’m not immortal -”

“Neither am I,” Taehyung cut him off, lifting himself off of the maknae.

Jeongguk smiled patiently, “I can’t fly except for in an airplane, I can’t shapeshift or possess people, and I can’t use glamour, which is definitely different than shapeshifting, and worst of all, I can’t give you your wings back.”

Taehyung wetted his lips thoughtfully, “I don’t want that. I mean, a part of me does, but most of me doesn’t. I’m glad I fell, truly.” He snorted quietly, not quite back to himself yet, “If my Kookie can’t fly outside of an airplane, I don’t want to either.”

Jeongguk hid his blush and pulled Taehyung into his arms, “You deserve everything, hyung. And I’m sorry I didn’t realize how badly you were hurting until now.” A pause, then, “Can we make a rule?”

“Sure, jagi,” Taehyung said, his voice careful.

“We’ll tell each other if that asshole comes back. And this rule is for you especially,” Jeongguk lifted the elder’s chin up with his thumb and met his eyes sternly, “you’ll come to me immediately. I don’t know what goes on in your head when it happens, but if you’re able to, I want you to come to me as soon as you possibly can, okay? I’d love for that bastard to not even have a chance to talk.” 

Taehyung hummed into Jeongguk’s chest and the maknae pulled them back down onto the bed, covering the trembling boy with the blanket. “I can try, Kookie.”

Jeongguk kissed his head and stroked his fingers through his hair until he fell asleep again. 

He could almost convince himself he didn’t hear the familiar laughter, cold and unfeeling, echo quietly through the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why am I crying when I’m the one who wrote this?


	24. Chapter 24

The alarm was a cruel wakeup call. Jeongguk groaned and nudged Taehyung awake. The elder sat up and rubbed his face. His hair was sticking out haphazardly in all directions, and Jeongguk reached out to run his hand through it. Taehyung, still half asleep, offered a lopsided smile, “Mm, jagi.”

He pressed a sloppy kiss to Jeongguk’s lips, clumsy and soft, and the maknae giggled, “Your breath stinks.”

“I don’t care,” Taehyung pushed Jeongguk back onto the bed, his eyes still half closed, and pinned him there with his chest pressed down on the maknae’s. “Sleep.”

Jeongguk sighed, rolling his eyes, “For an idol, you are a hard waker.”

“What does being an idol have to do with it?”

“You should be used to not getting much sleep.”

“Am,” Taehyung sighed. “I just like it. Sleep, I mean.”

Jeongguk laughed, deciding to leave it be, “You do realize you’re like, five kilos? This isn’t working.”

“No?” Taehyung asked, mischief laced amongst his sleepiness, “Then try to get up.”

Jeongguk gripped the elder’s arms and pushed. He didn’t budge. Pursing his lips, Jeongguk moved to shove at his shoulders. “What the hell, Tae?”

Taehyung giggled, “Small but mighty.”

“You’re impossible.” Jeongguk gave the boy a moment to relax before trying to sit up, his abdomen straining. “Okay, this is a little creepy. What are you doing?”

“Don’t want to get up,” Taehyung said simply, nuzzling into the maknae’s neck.

Suddenly, his lips were on Jeongguk’s throat, and familiar heat pooled into his stomach. “H-hyung…”

“Quickie?” Taehyung asked.

“So romantic.”

“The most,” Taehyung giggled. “Fine, no morning sex. And here I thought I could get some of the Jungcock.”

Jeongguk gagged, “If you ever say that again, I’m leaving your ass.”

“You don’t even have my ass,” Taehyung said, fully awake and grinning devilishly. “I have yours, remember?”

“I-I can change that,” Jeongguk managed to quip.

“Evidently not this morning,” Taehyung shrugged and rolled out of bed. 

“Wait,” Jeongguk stumbled to his feet, his heart stuttering. “You’d let me?”

“Let you what, Kookie?” Taehyung mused innocently, pulling on one of Jeongguk’s white t-shirts. Their wardrobes had fused into one over the past few weeks, and though they both knew whose was whose, neither cared to stick to their own clothing. Unless, of course, they were in public.

“Y-you know what,” Jeongguk squirmed.

“Do I?”

“Hyung,” Jeongguk whined. “I can’t say it out loud.”

“Then the answer is no.”

 

“Hyung!”

“Kookie,” Taehyung mocked, stepping out of the bedroom.

Jeongguk ran after him into the hall. “You’re - you’re - !”

“Impossible?” Taehyung offered, already stepping into the kitchen.

Jeongguk groaned and followed. Yoongi and Hoseok were sitting next to each other at the table, the former leaning against the latter with his eyes shut. Hoseok grinned up from his phone at the two maknaes, “Good morning.”

“Morning, hyung,” Jeongguk bumped his head on Hoseok’s free shoulder affectionately. 

“You two seem to be in a good mood.”

“I’m not. Taehyung-hyung is a bully,” Jeongguk lamented before he could stop himself.

“Oh my god,” Taehyung said, which was one of the few phrases in English he knew. He was working on it, but he hadn’t had the chance to go to America with BTS yet to learn in person, so he was going based on the phrases that he heard in passing. His satoori added a touch to the language that did _things_ to the maknae, and this was no exception. Jeongguk’s breath caught in his throat, which didn’t go unnoticed by Taehyung.

Hoseok picked up his toast - just regular toast, nothing special, so he must be tired - and glanced between the two quizzically, “I’m not sure if I should ask or not.”

Yoongi roused, blinking confusedly. “What?”

“Apparently Tae-ah’s a bully,” Hoseok said matter-of-factly, rolling the shoulder Yoongi had been sleeping on.

In his freshly-awakened state, Yoongi’s brain was too slow to stop him from asking, “Why?”

Jeongguk shook his head, preparing to say that it didn’t matter, but Taehyung beat him and said, “He’s butthurt I won’t let him top. Pun intended.”

Hoseok coughed a piece of toast into his hand, making Yoongi wrinkle his nose. Jeongguk smacked Taehyung’s butt, glaring at him. “We need some ground rules.”

“Rule number one,” Hoseok gagged, “don’t tell me who tops. Oh god, the _image_.” He shuddered and Yoongi patted his arm pityingly. 

“Rule number two,” Yoongi added, “leave the terrible jokes to Seokjin-hyung.”

“ _That’s_ what you’re concerned about?” Hoseok squeaked incredulously. 

Yoongi stood and went to Taehyung, hanging his arm over his shoulders. “Personally, I’m kind of impressed. I mean, this kid’s so small. I’m a little intrigued, but it’s the kind of ‘intrigued’ you get when you see someone missing a finger. Where did it go? What did they do? So many questions, most of which are probably best left unanswered.” He shot Taehyung a pointed look out of the corner of his eye. 

Taehyung shrugged, “You’re the one who asked.”

“Rule number three,” Jeongguk cut off the conversation sharply, making all his hyungs turn to him. “Get a filter.”

“Never,” Taehyung said, offering a cheeky grin. Then, a little more serious, he added, “But if it makes my baby uncomfortable, then I’ll try.”

Now Yoongi snorted, dropping his arm and moving back to sit next to Hoseok. “‘Baby.’ How fitting.”

If it was any of the other hyungs, Jeongguk would have punched him. But it was Yoongi, and Yoongi would go Agust D all over his ass if he even considered it. So he settled for a glare that probably looked about as threatening as the nickname.

“Isn’t it?” Taehyung giggled.

Hoseok rolled his eyes, “I’m going to the living room. For the love of god, please don’t follow me.”

With that, the second eldest in the kitchen left. After a beat, Jimin entered from the hall, slow and groggy. “Coffee.”

“You know how to make it,” Jeongguk said.

Jimin threw a halfhearted punch in his direction but didn’t make contact. “Respect your hyung, you rascal. Get a boyfriend and suddenly you’re a man, huh?”

“He bottoms, so no,” Yoongi said, shocking all three of the maknaes. 

“Hyung!” Jeongguk and Jimin shouted at the same time, different degrees of indignation in their voices. Taehyung recovered from his initial surprise and snickered.

“Someone has to keep you in your place,” Yoongi said to Jeongguk. 

“Shower’s free,” Taehyung suddenly said, craning his neck to look down the hall. 

He glanced at Jeongguk and the maknae immediately followed him out of the kitchen. Jimin wrinkled his nose at Yoongi, but the elder just shrugged, “Your coffee is brewing without a cup.”

“Fu - !” Jimin scrambled to the cupboard.

Taehyung shut the door behind him and Jeongguk, and the latter shuddered. “You know,” he breathed, “I haven’t forgotten about our conversation last night.”

“I’m done with that for right now,” Taehyung said, working to coax off Jeongguk’s shirt.

“Only for right now?”

“Sure, jagi,” Taehyung said, bending to kiss his nipple. Jeongguk sucked in a strangled breath at the contact.

“H-hyung,” Jeongguk whimpered.

“Set the water how you like it, jagiya, and hurry,” Taehyung ordered, his voice gentle.

Jeongguk obeyed as Taehyung stripped behind him. When he stepped close enough for Jeongguk to feel his body heat, the maknae bit his lip. “I - I’m - uh, it’s ready, h-hyung.”

Taehyung took his hand and pulled him into the shower. He didn’t even let Jeongguk get fully under the water before he pressed him up against the wall, grinding their hips together and murmuring in his ear in a sinfully husky voice, “I want you.”

“T-take me then,” Jeongguk stuttered, arousal already messing with his head.

“Hmm,” Taehyung grinned and sucked a hickey into Jeongguk’s skin, right above his collarbone.

“Taehyung,” he snapped. 

“Your t-shirt will cover it. I think. I honestly don’t know,” Taehyung giggled and bit the maknae’s shoulder. “I just know you love it when I mark you.”

Jeongguk arched his back, begging, “S-stop teasing.”

“Alright, jagiya, alright.” Taehyung ran his fingers under the water and then brought them between Jeongguk’s thighs.

“H-hyung!” Jeongguk stammered, hardly louder than a breath.

And then there were two digits inside of him, and soon three, and then all were gone and Jeongguk slammed his head back in frustration until Taehyung hoisted him up, hooking his legs around his waist. He lowered the maknae onto him painfully slow, and both of them sighed when their skin became flush. 

“So,” Taehyung breathed, starting to roll his hips, “my Kookie wants to do this to me?”

“Wh-at?” Jeongguk pressed his mouth down onto Taehyung’s shoulder to muffle himself. 

“You want to -” Taehyung snapped his hips, eliciting a sharp inhale from the maknae, “- to me?” Jeongguk couldn’t answer, his head thrown back in pleasure, and Taehyung mused, “Or maybe you should just stay how you are? Getting your world rocked? What do you think, Kookie?”

“Hyung,” Jeongguk babbled, Taehyung’s questions escaping his brain the second they entered. He clawed at the older boy’s back, subconsciously digging his nails into his flesh. “Fuck, Tae, _fuck_.”

“Hmm, that’s what I thought, jagi,” Taehyung said victoriously and pressed his forehead into the crook of Jeongguk’s neck, panting against his skin. When he reached between them, Jeongguk knew he was finished, and he came with a quiet, high-pitched moan. “Ah, Kookie, you’re so - so - fuck, baby -” 

Taehyung grinded his hips a few more times, riding out his own high, and then gently lowered Jeongguk to his feet. The older boy let him lean against the wall and proceeded to wash the maknae’s body himself, only making him move when he needed to get to his back. “Hyung,” Jeongguk breathed, beyond satiated. 

“Jeongguk,” Taehyung said back, smiling. “Go dry off and get around, jagi, I’ll be out in a minute.”

Jeongguk obeyed, his thoughts too sluggish to do anything else.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of like a filler chapter, but there is stuff in it that you’ll want to remember for later, so I guess just read it and enjoy the domestic fluff for right now?

The members tried the dance again, and it ended up much better than the day before. There were still places that needed work, but overall they were satisfied. Yoongi and Namjoon disappeared together into the studio to write when they all were done with dance practice, Taehyung left to go work on the piece he’d shown Jeongguk the day prior (“make sure you call me if _anything_ happens, hyung” - “I will, jagi, I promise”), and Hoseok and Jimin had choreography they were preparing together, so Seokjin and Jeongguk were left to their own devices. The eldest smiled at the maknae and asked, “Well, Kookie, do you have anything you’re doing at the moment?”

Jeongguk shook his head, eyeing his hyung. He still wasn’t entirely sure if or how their dynamic had changed, and what that meant for their relationship.

“Want to go get snacks with me?”

“Sure,” Jeongguk nodded. 

They pulled on their masks and hats, and then, satisfied with their disguises, set off out of the building and down the street. Seokjin grabbed Jeongguk’s hand and the maknae breathed a sigh of relief. At least that much hadn’t changed. 

Seokjin led him into the convenience store they always frequented when they were in a snacky mood at the studio. Jeongguk immediately beelined to the sugary section, eyes raking over the treats. Seokjin laughed, grabbed a basket, and then followed him over. “What do you want, Kook?” Jeongguk glanced at him before snatching a bag of Banana Kicks. His hyung rolled his eyes, “I should have guessed. What should we get everyone else?”

Jeongguk stuck his tongue between his teeth thoughtfully. “Jimin-hyung might like these too.” Deciding, he grabbed another bag and tossed it in the basket. 

Seokjin nodded in approval and they continued to wander the aisles. He grabbed a few bags of random snacks and Jeongguk ran to the coolers to grab drinks. 

This was...nice. He and Seokjin had done this before, so it brought aching nostalgia. 

“Kookie?” Seokjin suddenly said, his voice gentle.

“Yeah, hyung?” Jeongguk responded, turning to the elder. 

“You know I love you, right?” Seokjin stared at him unblinkingly. “No matter what. Nothing has changed between us. I was stupid before, but I’m back to normal now.”

Jeongguk could have cried. “You promise?”

“I promise,” Seokjin affirmed. 

Letting out a shaky breath, Jeongguk nodded sheepishly, “Thanks.”

Seokjin reached to ruffle the maknae’s hair, but then remembered he had a hat on and chuckled at himself. “Should we head back?”

“Yeah, hyung. I think this is enough stuff,” Jeongguk gestured to the overflowing basket. 

They paid - well, Seokjin paid - and then exited the store carrying two bags each. Jeongguk hopped on Seokjin’s back, making him stumble, and the eldest shook his head, “Ya, Kookie, you’re heavy!”

“Don’t care,” Jeongguk said, nuzzling against his hyung’s hair. 

“This kid,” Seokjin said in disbelief. 

“You love me,” Jeongguk said, cocky. 

“I do,” Seokjin affirmed. 

Jeongguk slid off of his hyung’s back after a block, realizing that he’d better not permanently damage him. He skipped to walk in stride with the elder, smiling brightly behind his mask. “Hyung?”

“Yeah, Kookie?”

“Thank you,” Jeongguk said earnestly, “for everything.”

The eldest switched the bag in the hand closest to the maknae to the opposite and then wrapped his arm around his shoulders affectionately. “Of course, Kookie. You know you can come to me about anything, right?”

“That means the world to me, hyung,” Jeongguk promised. 

“Unless It has to do with - uh - you know -“

“I swear to god, if you’re about to say se -“

“Okay, Kookie!” Seokjin giggled. “I’m just saying, those are questions for Naver.”

Jeongguk rolled his eyes, “Or for Taehyung.”

“Ugh,” Seokjin shuddered. “I mean, I guess technically, yes.”

At this point, they were walking into the BigHit building. Seokjin and Jeongguk split up the bags and set to work delivering the snacks. Jeongguk wandered to Namjoon’s studio and gently rapped his knuckles on the door. “Hyungs?”

Namjoon pushed the door open to admit the maknae. His eyes lit up at the bags in Jeongguk’s hands and the maknae fished around and pulled out food and a bottle of soda for the leader. “You’re the best, Kookie!”

Yoongi lowered his headphones and distractedly accepted the bag of chips Jeongguk handed him. “Thanks, kid,” he said without looking away from the computer screen. 

Jeongguk gave Namjoon a side-hug before excusing himself, “I still gotta take Taehyung’s stuff to him.”

“He’s working hard, Kook,” Namjoon said, but there was a twinkle in his eye that told the maknae he was only teasing. “Don’t distract him too much.”

Jeongguk blushed, “I won’t, hyung.”

Yoongi waved him away, still not looking up from his screen. “Go on, kid, ignore Joonie.” 

Jeongguk thought about it and then threw himself on top of Yoongi in a haphazard backhug. “See you guys later!”

Yoongi shook him off and Jeongguk took off before he could be scolded. He didn’t stop running until he was in front of the door of his and Taehyung’s studio, chest heaving exhilaratingly. He gave the door a soft knock, but there was no response. “Tae?” He gently pushed into the room, still smiling. 

Taehyung didn’t react, focused intently on the bars scrolling on his screen. His headphone volume was up so loud that Jeongguk could faintly hear the bass, even though they were supposed to be noise canceling. He smiled warmly and gently lifted them off his boyfriend’s head. Taehyung whipped around, his hand coming up to clutch at his chest. “Jeongguk! Jagi, you scared me.”

Jeongguk crawled up to sit in his lap, knees on either side of his thighs. He dropped the bag he was carrying and ran his hands through Taehyung’s hair, twisting pieces of it until they stood upright on his head. “Sorry.”

“‘S fine,” Taehyung mumbled, trembling under the maknae. He cleared his throat, “Where’d you go with Seokjin-hyung?”

“Store,” Jeongguk pushed himself up and bent to pick up the bag. “We got you snacks. Well, not just you, but everyone.”

“You’re so amazing, jagiya,” Taehyung cooed as Jeongguk deposited the food into his hands, a wide grin on his face. 

Jeongguk returned to his previous position in Taehyung’s lap. “What have you been up to?”

“Just mixing,” Taehyung said, his breath audibly heavier. 

Jeongguk felt his evil maknae side peeking through and he grinned, asking coyly, “What are you doing now?”

“Kookie,” Taehyung warned, a low noise deep in his throat. “I’m on a roll here. I really shouldn’t - holy shit, wait, what are you doing?”

Jeongguk looked up innocently from Taehyung’s throat. “Payback?”

The older boy growled and brought his hand up to grip the hair growing along the nape of Jeongguk’s neck. “Bad idea, Kook.”

Jeongguk released a soft grunt as Taehyung pulled his head back by his hair, the sensation sending a zing of electricity down his spine. And then the elder’s lips were on his throat and he quivered, digging his fingertips into Taehyung’s shoulders. He was unraveling quickly, and it took all his strength not to rip his shirt off so his hyung could get to the rest of his torso. 

Taehyung slowly pulled away, chuckling cruelly. Jeongguk cracked his eyes open, “Hyung?”

“Get down, sweet boy,” Taehyung ordered, his voice thick. “I have work to do.” Jeongguk pouted, but stayed rooted where he was. Taehyung raised his eyebrows. “Jagi.”

“Hyung.”

“Fine, stay here. I can work around you,” Taehyung shrugged and carelessly kicked his foot to twist the chair back to the monitor. “You can be really needy sometimes, you know that?”

Jeongguk raised his head, “Oh really, I’m the needy one?”

“I never said I wasn’t needy too.”

“Nice save.”

Taehyung shrugged and typed against the keyboard, the soft pink tip of his tongue peeking out between his lips in concentration. Jeongguk sighed and curled against his chest, giving in. 

Everyone was ready to leave relatively early, so they all decided to watch a movie together when they got home. Even Yoongi came back to the dorm to participate, his eyes bloodshot from not blinking for hours on end. Seokjin picked out the movie, so it ended up being a cheesy horror film that no one but Hoseok and Seokjin himself fell for. Namjoon and Jeongguk rolled their eyes at each other - Seokjin constantly felt the need to prove he wasn’t one of the scaredy-cats of the group, though he only ever cemented the title. 

Jeongguk was wedged between Hoseok and Taehyung on the couch with Jimin sitting between his legs on the floor. Yoongi was sprawled over the armchair with Seokjin pressed back against his shins, and Namjoon was leaning against Taehyung’s knee. Seokjin’s hands were balled into fists and pressed against his lips, his eyes cartoonish wide. Hoseok mirrored him, only with his knees pulled to his chest. Jeongguk almost laughed at them. He was always great at remaining pretty stoic throughout scary films, so he thoroughly enjoyed watching his hyungs squirm. 

That is, until he looked over at Taehyung. The boy was staring blankly at the screen, almost bored. Jeongguk would sometimes flinch at the jump scares, but Taehyung wouldn’t even do that. It was as if he was watching a documentary about penguins, not a gory horror film. Jeongguk leaned over and whispered to him, “You okay?”

“Huh?” Taehyung glanced at him before his eyes slid back to the screen. “Yeah, it’s just not scary.”

Jeongguk giggled and straightened. Taehyung slung his arm over the maknae’s shoulders and the younger responded by slinking his arm around the elder’s middle, resting his head in the crook of his neck. They spent the next hour and a half laughing at Hoseok’s over-the-top screeches and the subsequent scoldings from Seokjin, who _wouldn’t have gotten scared if it wasn’t for you, Hobi! For the sake of my sanity, please calm down!_

Once the credits started rolling, Namjoon stood and stretched his arms high over his head. The sun had gone down hours before, and Jeongguk blinked away spots when Namjoon flipped on the lightswitch. Yoongi made a disapproving noise in his throat and Hoseok stretched his limbs out in front of him. “Hyung,” he grumbled to Seokjin, “that was terrible.”

“Agreed,” Seokjin breathed, sweat visible on his forehead. 

“You’ve lost your picking privileges for awhile, hyung,” Yoongi teased.

“Yeah, yeah,” Seokjin offered a paper-thin grin. “That’s fair.”

“I didn’t think it was that bad,” Taehyung defended. “It was kind of funny. You know, because of how bad it was.”

“That was terrifying, Tae-ah!” Hoseok cried in disbelief. “How are you fine right now?”

“It was predictable, hyung,” Taehyung teased. “And I’m ninety-nine percent sure that was ketchup they used for fake blood.”

Hoseok and Seokjin grumbled for a moment more, but everyone was too tired to acknowledge them. Finally, they helped each other up and shuffled off to their room after Yoongi and Namjoon. That left the maknae line alone in the living room, glancing at each other tiredly. Jimin broke the silence with a yawn, “Well, I’d stay up and play, but I’m exhausted. See you guys in the morning.”

Jeongguk offered his hand and Jimin groaned but helped him to his feet anyway. The maknae helped Taehyung up next and the three of them stumbled to their respective rooms. 

Taehyung grinned slyly at Jeongguk when they were safe in their room, “How much do you want to bet Hoseokie-hyung doesn’t sleep tonight?”

Jeongguk blinked, surprised, before chucking a pillow at him. Taehyung caught it, laughing, and Jeongguk hesitated for a moment before asking, “Have you put any more thought into telling the hyungs about you?”

Taehyung hesitated, “Yeah, Kookie, I have. I think it’d be a - a good idea.”

Relief filled the maknae. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Taehyung sighed, looking down. “We just have to figure out how. I can’t outright tell them. Rules.”

“We’ll figure it out together,” Jeongguk promised.

Taehyung nodded and muffled a yawn. “Can we figure it out in our dreams, though? I’m exhausted.”

Jeongguk nodded, almost laughing at how absurd that sentence would normally sound, and took his hyung’s outstretched hand, letting him pull him to the bed. Taehyung brushed a kiss to Jeongguk’s temple before pushing his hair away from his face and resting his cheek on the maknae’s forehead.


	26. Chapter 26

Jeongguk wandered through the white dreamscape, craning his head around. Whenever his bare feet landed, it was like he was stepping in water. It was cold, though the temperature of the air always seemed perfect here. He hugged himself, lamenting that he was only in sweatpants. His toes were numb, but still he walked. Usually, there was a tug in the back of his mind that led him to Taehyung. It was still there, but it was much fainter than usual, and he struggled to focus on it. 

Taehyung had told him that he himself could never search for the maknae. It was against the rules to be in a human’s head like that. He didn’t fully understand why Jeongguk could enter his dreamscape, but he didn’t think it could get them in trouble so long as it was Jeongguk who found him, not the other way around. 

The atmosphere held a sense of paranoia that threatened to constrict Jeongguk until his ribs broke. It was quiet - normally it was a gentle quiet, one that caressed and soothed him, but tonight it was threatening. He wetted his lips and circled around. “Hyung?”

Nothing. 

“Tae?” He shouted, his voice cracking. “ _Taehyung?_ ”

Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong. Jeongguk broke into a run, the hem of his pants sloshing through the mysterious water. Panic and adrenaline pushed him onward. His lungs burned, as if he wasn’t breathing at all. 

Blinding pain suddenly seared through Jeongguk’s skull. He stumbled and fell, holding his head. His vision blackened and he squeezed his eyes shut, his entire body convulsing. Bile, thick and bitter, rose in his throat and he gagged. 

And then the white of the dreamscape siphoned into black, an inky darkness that threatened to swallow him whole. The pain faded to a dull throbbing and Jeongguk pushed himself to his feet. He wasn’t even fully upright before his muscles locked and he dropped to his knees again, cursing. 

“ _That’s no way to speak, little one._ ”

Jeongguk froze, fury and terror rising in his chest. His head snapped up, eyes narrowing. “What the fuck are you doing here?” He struggled to stand, but he was too weak and collapsed forward onto his palms, shaking. “What did you do to me?”

Raphael crouched in front of him, lifting his head with his index finger under his chin. It burned the maknae’s skin and he hissed. Raphael leaned close, close enough for Jeongguk to see his pupils through the haze that eternally covered him. “ _You’re pretty for a human. I suppose I can see the appeal._ ”

Jeongguk swished around the bile-saliva mixture in his mouth and spat it on Raphael’s cheek. The archangel hissed and stood, letting Jeongguk unceremoniously fall forward. The maknae released a weak laugh, “So I’m told.”

“ _You’re prideful, though. It’s a shame,_ ” Raphael wiped his cheek, wrinkling his nose. “ _Pride is the original sin, little one. You should deny it._ ”

“I learn best from example,” Jeongguk shot back, his throat dry. He sat on his heels, still bent forward on his hands. 

Raphael suddenly slapped him. It scorched his cheek and Jeongguk groaned. Raphael snarled, “ _I could end you, little one. Taehyung would be much easier to handle if I did._ ”

“Taehyung would kill you if you did,” Jeongguk said, unsure where his bravery (stupidity?) was coming from. 

“ _He would certainly try,_ ” Raphael mused. “ _He’s said himself that he’d rip my wings out._ ”

“I hope he does anyway,” Jeongguk said. “You don’t deserve them.” 

“ _I suppose not,_ ” Raphael hummed thoughtfully. “ _I mean, I'm the one who broke the rule in the first place. I suppose it’d be...poetic justice. But I’m an archangel, little one, as you so smartly figured out. Who would dare believe a lowly guardian over me?_ ” His voice was so cocky that Jeongguk wanted to strangle him. Raphael raked his fingers down Jeongguk’s bare back, evoking a low noise of pain. “ _I suppose I should let you go to him now. He’ll be worried. You two will slip up soon. And then I’ll relish in your expression when I throw him into hell._ ”

“You’re disgusting,” Jeongguk growled. 

“ _Goodbye, little one. I will see you again,_ ” Raphael smiled, and then Jeongguk blinked and the darkness turned back into white, and the archangel was gone.

His brain ached, but he was still able to focus on the warm tug that led him to his boyfriend. Taehyung enveloped him in a tight, trembling embrace. “Where were you, Kookie?”

“Talking with your ex,” Jeongguk said, venom dripping from every word. “He’s a lovely person, why on earth did you leave him?”

Taehyung held him even tighter, almost hurting him. Almost. “I’m so sorry, jagiya. I wish I knew how to make him stop.”

“Archangels are all-seeing?” Jeongguk asked. When Taehyung nodded, he continued, “Can they see memories too?”

“Yes,” Taehyung said. “Why?”

Jeongguk pulled out of Taehyung’s embrace. “When you fell, it was because it was your word against his? Raphael’s?”

“Yes, jagi,” Taehyung said tiredly. “What’s your point?”

Jeongguk smiled grimly. “Raphael is really talkative, and I have the proof of him breaking the rules right up here,” he tapped his temple lightly. 

“What rule is that?”

“He trespassed into my dreams without permission.” Jeongguk scratched the back of his neck, mulling over his idea, “Now we have blackmail material.”

“He’s probably counting on you not sharing your thoughts in a trial,” Taehyung pointed out. “He knows if you did, they’d have everything. They’d know everything you’ve ever known, ever felt, ever experienced. You’d be stripped bare in front of heaven itself. I couldn’t even do that to save my wings.”

Jeongguk pulled Taehyung into a chaste kiss. “You’re my everything, Tae. I want this to stop, and I want to protect you.”

“But jagi,” Taehyung slumped against him. “They’d have _everything_.”

Jeongguk hesitated, mulling over a response. Every memory. Every thought. That was a lot. 

That was too much. 

Jeongguk bit his lip. “And I’ll have you,” he finally said, kissing Taehyung’s jaw. “It’s not like I’ll have to do that.”

Taehyung sighed, “We can’t tell our hyungs about me. Not yet, at least. Not when Raphael is searching for any way to indict me.”

“What a possessive bitch,” Jeongguk mused. 

Taehyung fell into his signature blank expression. However, Jeongguk didn’t get a chance to ask what was wrong before he suddenly released a bark of dry laughter, “Did you just call one of the oldest and most powerful archangels a _bitch_?”

Jeongguk shrugged and let Taehyung pull him into an embrace, their bare chests pressed together. There had been many occasions when the maknae loved that they were the same height, and this was one of them. Neither of them had to strain to kiss the other, leaving no room for excuses not to. He tangled his fingers in Taehyung’s hair, humming against his soft lips. The elder hooked his hands on Jeongguk’s waist, growling against him. Suddenly, their fronts brushed together, and Jeongguk gasped and pulled away, trembling. “Stop, stop.”

Taehyung grinned wickedly. They had slept together before in a dream, but the morning wood Jeongguk found himself with when he woke up actually _hurt_ , straining against his pants and threatening to kill him. Taehyung had it too, but he was a little better at dealing with it than the sensitive maknae. Jeongguk had then decided that if they ever wanted to have sex, they had to wake up to do it. No way in hell was he going to deal with that again. 

Taehyung listened to Jeongguk’s order and ran his fingers through the maknae’s dark locks, giving them a gentle tug. “You never cease to amaze me, jagi. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Jeongguk promised, blushing. Then, he thought of something. “Turn around, Tae, let me check your wounds.”

Taehyung obeyed, displaying his back. Jeongguk grinned happily. The open gashes had turned into dark pink scars, eternally-damaged but healthy tissue replacing the wounds that had plagued him for months. He ran his index finger around them, carefully never touching them. Taehyung shivered beneath him, “That feels good, jagi.”

Braver, Jeongguk experimentally traced over one of the scars. Taehyung arched his back into his hand, shuddering. A good reaction. Jeongguk trailed his finger to the other one, continuing his ministrations. The boy beneath him seemed to be unraveling, panting heavily. Jeongguk whispered, “Is this okay?”

“ _Yes_ , jagi, yes,” Taehyung breathed. 

A low sound caught in the boy’s throat and Jeongguk froze, his finger still pressed to one of the scars. “Is it - does it feel good?”

“Yes,” whimpered Taehyung. “It feels - it’s like - like you’re touching my wings.”

Jeongguk’s brain traveled to thoughts of running huge silken feathers through his fingers, stroking the strong wings that once carried his lover through the air. And then it took him to imaginings of Taehyung bent forward, Jeongguk holding him in place with one hand on his hip while the other danced over the scars, coaxing forth uninhibited sounds. It sent heat straight to his groin and he exhaled heavily. Even though he loved submitting to Taehyung, that was definitely something he wanted to try. He stepped back, breathing shakily. “We have to stop before I get - get too excited.” 

Taehyung offered a trembling laugh, turning to face the maknae. He wrapped his arms around him, his pupils blown as big as they could get. “My wings were...uh, _sensitive_. I guess some of the nerves in them were left behind after they were removed.”

Jeongguk nodded, still not entirely himself yet. “That’s g-good to know.”

They stared at each other, both in varying degrees of arousal, chests heaving and eyes wide. 

And then their alarm went off. 

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

Jeongguk was awoken fully by Taehyung groaning, “Motherfucker.”

He blinked blearily and followed his boyfriend’s eyes down to the tent in the sheets. He snickered, “Oh. You meant _that_ kind of sensitive.”

“Shut up,” Taehyung hissed, his teeth gritted. 

“Want some help with that?”

“You better,” Taehyung panted. “You don’t even know what you were doing to me back there.”

“I have a faint idea.”

Taehyung slammed his head back against his pillow, frustrated. “ _Please_ , Kook.”

Who was Jeongguk to deny him anything?

They stumbled out of their room a few minutes later, Jeongguk’s lips swollen and Taehyung’s muscles considerably more relaxed. Jimin, Seokjin, and Yoongi were in the kitchen, and all raised their eyebrows at the maknaes. 

“You two are way too chipper for how early in the morning it is,” Yoongi muttered. 

“Not everyone here is a grandpa,” Taehyung teased, his voice thick and satiated. 

Jimin giggled, “Taetae, you’re so lucky Yoongi loves you.”

“You really are,” Yoongi muttered. 

Seokjin simply smiled warmly at the two newcomers and nodded in the direction of the stove. “I made enough gaeran toast for you guys if you want any. I figured it’d be nice.”

Jeongguk and Taehyung hugged the eldest. The older of the two cried, “You’re the best, hyungnim!”

Seokjin patted their backs, tired but affectionate. “I know.”

Taehyung kissed his cheek, surprising the eldest, and then skipped off to grab a plate. Seokjin eyed Jeongguk, “He’s too happy, even for Taehyung. Do I want to know what you did to him?”

Jimin pantomimed throwing up, “Please don’t.”

Jeongguk stuck his tongue out at the mochi, “I wouldn’t. I’m not Tae-ssi.”

“Oh no!” Jimin wailed. “That means you _did_ do something to him!”

“Not even I am filled with enough natural joy to be this happy at five in the morning,” Taehyung grinned. 

“Five-thirty,” Seokjin corrected. 

Taehyung shrugged and sat down with his toast. Jeongguk found himself in the mood for something sweeter and grabbed a bowl of cereal. He sat down beside Jimin, across from Yoongi and Taehyung. “Kookie,” Jimin said affectionately, ruffling the maknae’s hair. 

“What’s on the agenda for everyone today?” Seokjin asked. 

“If you ask me to dance, I’m breaking my ankles,” Yoongi said darkly. 

Jimin giggled and reached across to pat Yoongi’s cheek. “You get a break today, hyung!”

Yoongi nodded, letting a small smile slip through, and said, “I’m working with Namjoon on some tracks.”

“Hoseok and I are still working on our choreography,” Jimin added. 

Jeongguk shrugged, “I’ve got nothing unless Taehyung-hyung wants help with his song.”

“What song?” Jimin asked, and suddenly all three of their hyungs were staring at Taehyung. 

He looked down bashfully, “It‘s, uh, just something I’ve been playing with. Nothing serious.”

“It’s beautiful,” Jeongguk insisted. “I didn’t realize you hadn’t told anyone about it.”

“Well,” Taehyung stuck his thumbnail between his teeth sheepishly, looking down at his toast. He dropped his hand and said, “I mean, it’s the first song I’ve written, so I don’t think it’s very good, and it’s a solo song because I’m too chicken to try to write something for all of us. Besides, it’s just a pet project.”

Yoongi shook his head, “You're crazy if you think you’re not showing it to me. I want to hear this ‘pet project.’”

Taehyung squirmed, but before he could speak, Jeongguk cut him off, “If you don’t, Tae, I will.” 

The boy chewed the inside of his cheek. “I-I mean, I guess I could show - show you,” he stammered slowly. “You just can’t laugh at it.”

“I won’t,” Yoongi promised. 

“Do it, Taetae!” Jimin squealed, his excitement palpable.

Taehyung worked his jaw, but Seokjin drove the final nail into his coffin, “If you don’t show Yoongi, I’ll tell one of the producers and then you’re really in for it. I think you should probably get some support from your brothers first, don’t you think?”

The boy stared helplessly at his hyungs, and Jeongguk almost felt bad for saying something. But not quite. Finally, Taehyung mumbled, “Okay.”

Yoongi sat back, nodding approvingly. Jimin reached across the table to grip Taehyung’s shoulder. “I’m so excited for you, Taetae! I’m so happy you’re writing music.”

“You don’t even know if it’s shit or not,” Taehyung grumbled. 

Seokjin frowned, “Language, Taetae.”

“I don’t care if it’s sh - if it’s bad,” Jimin said. “I’m still excited.”

A little relieved from the praise, Taehyung offered a small smile. He repeated, “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this chapter was a wild ride


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for angst galore, my friends

Taehyung toyed with the headphones in his lap. Jeongguk was standing against the opposite wall, watching him carefully. The boy mumbled, “I really wish you didn’t say anything, jagi.”

“An archangel is right on our asses hell-bent on ruining our lives, and you’re afraid of Yoongi-hyung?” Jeongguk retorted, crossing his arms over his chest. 

Taehyung offered a humorless laugh. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Have you done anything else besides the little bit you showed me?”

“I have some lyrics written and their basic place in the music,” Taehyung sighed. “But I don’t have anything concrete, and nothing is finished.”

“I thought you were mixing.”

“I’m a bit disorganized,” Taehyung admitted. “I’ve been doing a little bit of everything, honestly.”

“Have you actually sang anything?” 

Taehyung chucked the nearest object at the maknae, which ended up being a plushie that a fan had given Jeongguk back when they still accepted gifts. He caught it, raising his eyebrows, and Taehyung raked his hands through his hair. Finally, he said, “Of course I’ve sang stuff. There’s even some of it in here. It’s just - I don’t know, Kook.” 

“Tae,” Jeongguk approached him carefully. The next object he threw would probably be a bit more solid than the stuffed animal. “Are you done having a tantrum?” 

“Jeongguk,” he growled, and then he registered the plushie in the maknae’s hand. “Oh. I’m sorry.”

“No problem,” Jeongguk shrugged and plopped down in the elder’s lap. “Can I kiss you without getting hit with a book?”

Taehyung chuckled tiredly, “I’m sorry. I’m not sure why I did that.”

Jeongguk leaned forward and Taehyung shut his eyes, struggling to breathe. It was cute to see the normally confident boy so self-conscious. Jeongguk kissed his trembling lips gently. “Hyung, I love you. I wouldn’t insist on showing this to Yoongi if it wasn’t good.” He squinted at the screen. Measures and notes were scattered all over the board and he almost laughed at how haphazard it all was. Taehyung had been in here teaching himself, never asking for help from any of them, never having any proper professional training in producing, and it showed in ways that were inexplicably and adorably him. “Have you come up with a title for it yet?”

Taehyung hesitated, stiffening under the maknae, before saying, “Stigma.”

Jeongguk turned his head to look at him quizzically. “Yeah?”

“Not good?” Taehyung winced. 

“No! It’s great! I’m just - I haven’t heard the lyrics, so I don’t know what it’s about. So you’ve made me curious, that’s all.”

Suddenly, there was a soft knock at the door and Jeongguk stood. Taehyung captured his hand and held it until the maknae was too far away, and Jeongguk admitted Yoongi into the room with a grin. Taehyung stared at the newcomer, his eyes wide and terrified. Without so much as a greeting, Yoongi set to work in the most Yoongi way possible - by silently nudging Taehyung out of the chair and putting on the headphones. Indignant, Taehyung reached towards him, but Yoongi batted his hands away, squinting at the chaos on the screen, and pressed Play. 

Taehyung looked at Jeongguk helplessly. The maknae shrugged and Taehyung turned back to the computer, biting his nail. Jeongguk watched him, entranced. He didn’t think Taehyung had any bad habits, so it was refreshing to see him do something so incredibly human. It made him a little more tangible, as if he didn’t have two scars on his back where wings once were and he didn’t literally come from heaven itself. But it was also sad - it meant that his angelhood was slipping from him, and that he was becoming more human than not. The person in front of Jeongguk was not the ethereal creature straight out of divinity from his first dream with him, which now felt like an eternity ago. Though he was an immigrant (more like a refugee) from heaven, he was slowly adapting to the culture of Earth.

Yoongi hooked the headphones around his neck, chewing the inside of his lip thoughtfully. Taehyung hugged himself, “Well?”

“Shush, Tae,” Yoongi ordered, but it was a soft sound that meant no harm. “I’m thinking. Let me listen again.”

“You hate it,” Taehyung said, panic making his voice crack. “It’s awful and you hate it. That’s why you have to listen to it again. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have been wasting my time on this, it sucks -“

Yoongi dropped a firm hand on Taehyung’s arm. He waited until the boy met his eyes before asking, “Are you done?” Taehyung shuddered, but offered a meek nod. Yoongi continued, “Because I don’t hate it. Quite the opposite, actually. It’s fresh, it has bass, it’s messy but that can be fixed. Now stop talking so I can focus on how that can be done, and how I can help you go on from here because this has the potential to be something amazing.”

Jeongguk grinned victoriously, pride swelling on his chest. Taehyung nodded, still trembling, but he smiled weakly at the maknae. If Yoongi wasn’t in the room, Jeongguk would have kissed him. But he settled instead for striding to his side and slinging an arm over his shoulders, nuzzling his hair. 

Yoongi nodded after listening again. “Okay,” he clapped his hands once, a loud crack that echoed in the quiet room and made Taehyung jump. He took off the headphones completely and swiveled the chair around to face the two maknaes. “Have you met Pdogg yet?”

Taehyung twitched into a shrug, “Yeah, a couple times.”

Yoongi drummed his fingers on the desk. “This could be something great, Taehyung, and I mean that. I think you should set up a time to work with him. He’s pretty good at taking our ideas and massaging them into something organized and cohesive.” 

Taehyung bobbed his head, “O-okay, hyung. Do you - do you think it’s good enough?”

The elder snorted, “For what?” Taehyung stiffened and Yoongi rolled his eyes, “It’s a great start, kid, what more do you want me to say? We have to do _something_ with it - it’d be a crime not to.” 

With that, Yoongi gave each boy a one-armed hug and left the studio. A beat passed, and then Taehyung suddenly threw his arms around Jeongguk’s neck. He whispered giddily, “ _He liked it, Kookie!_ ”

Jeongguk ran his fingers through Taehyung’s hair affectionately. “Of course he did. I told you so, hyung.”

Taehyung tugged him into a kiss that sent sparks up his spine. The older boy hook his hands around the back of the maknae’s neck, holding him there, and Jeongguk sighed into him, happiness singing in his veins. 

“ _How cute._ ” 

Taehyung bristled, turning into a statue, against Jeongguk. The maknae pulled away from the kiss slowly, eyeing the archangel that had appeared behind Taehyung. “On top of everything, you’re going to be a cock block now?”

Raphael smiled cruelly and reached out to rake his fingers down the back of Taehyung’s neck. White hot anger flashed across the maknae’s vision and before he completely knew what he was doing, he pulled the frozen boy into his chest, away from Raphael’s touch. 

“Don’t,” he hissed. Taehyung straightened robotically and Jeongguk released him. Something about the unmasked terror in Taehyung’s eyes, his body still facing away from the archangel, made Jeongguk protective (and possessive) enough to walk the line between brave and stupid. 

Raphael narrowed his eyes. “ _I’m only checking on you,_ ” he said, haughty. “ _I want to make sure you remember your place._ ”

“Please leave,” Taehyung whispered, his back still to the archangel. 

Raphael circled so that they stood in a triangle. He glanced between them and Jeongguk fought the urge to reach out and strangle him. Something rooted him to the spot, something far more powerful than him. Taehyung was staring off into the space by Jeongguk’s right elbow, hardly even breathing. But then Raphael placed his hand on Jeongguk’s cheek, searing his skin, and the maknae gasped softly. Taehyung snapped to attention and his hand shot out at the speed of a bullet, grabbing Raphael’s wrist. “Excuse me,” he said darkly, eyes flashing with white hot anger. “That’s mine.”

The archangel laughed. That’s it. He just laughed. And then he was gone, leaving behind an air of paranoia. Taehyung collapsed against Jeongguk’s chest, shaking to the point of convulsions. “Why won’t he just leave us alone?!”

Jeongguk worked his jaw, his cheek still tingling painfully. “At least he’s keeping it interesting. I’m impressed he came after both of us at once.”

“Please be serious,” Taehyung groaned, straightening. 

“Tae,” Jeongguk sighed. “I am. I’m so, so scared, but I’m more angry than anything.” He looked away. “I want to take him down. I want him to burn.”

“How, though?” Taehyung murmured.

Jeongguk shook his head, “I really don’t know, hyung.” Then, “Do you want to get out of here?”

“Please,” Taehyung whimpered. “I can’t stay here right now. And I can’t get any work done either.”

“Want to go somewhere?”

“Home,” Taehyung said, his voice small. 

“Okay,” Jeongguk nodded. “Let’s go.”

“Will you stay with me once we get there?” Taehyung squirmed, “I know it’s selfish, but -“

“Hyung,” Jeongguk cut him off. “There is no way in hell I'm leaving you there by yourself. I’d stay with you if I had to handcuff myself to your leg.”

That succeeded in making the elder giggle, a small, hollow noise that was a shadow of its usually bright sound. “Okay, jagi.”

Jeongguk tugged Taehyung out of the studio, shoving down his nervousness and fear. He had to be strong. It was time to ignore his own feelings and protect Taehyung from the demons of his past.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before we begin, I just wanted you all to know this story might end up having a sequel. There’s just too much left to write, and there are going to be too many new plots and characters, for it to all fit in one. If you have any questions about that at all, please feel free to comment them!

Jeongguk walked Taehyung to the living room and sat him down on the couch. The boy bent forward over his knees, staring at the floor. Their walk home had been uneventful, thankfully, and Jeongguk had held Taehyung’s hand the entire time. Something deep in his bones worried that the boy would float away if he didn’t tether him to Earth. 

“Tae?” Jeongguk asked gently.

The boy looked up at him. “I’m fine, jagi.”

“Let’s stop lying now,” Jeongguk chided, offering a smile. 

Taehyung sighed and dropped his head. “I want to protect you and I can’t.” 

Jeongguk raised his eyebrows, “Am I really the one in need of protection?”

“I -“ Taehyung pursed his lips, “I think so.”

“You think wrong,” Jeongguk squatted in front of his boyfriend, brushing hair out of his eyes. He needed a haircut. “This is a democracy, hyung, we work together.”

“I know that, jagi. I just -“

Jeongguk sighed dramatically, cutting him off. Taehyung frowned, but the maknae said, “Stop talking for two minutes.”

The elder raised a cocky eyebrow, “Only two?”

The maknae shook his head in disbelief, a moment of silence passing. And then he realized something. 

The dorm was quiet. 

No one else was home. 

He smiled slyly at his boyfriend and Taehyung cocked his head quizzically. “What?”

“What kind of mood are you in?”

“A bad one.”

Jeongguk put a finger to his lips, excitement flashing in his eyes. “I think I know something that’ll cheer you up. Listen, hear that?”

Taehyung pursed his lips, “No, I don’t. What do you hear that could possibly be so important that -“

“Shh,” Jeongguk hissed. “ _Exactly_ , hyung, you don’t hear anything. No one else is here.”

Taehyung looked at him exasperatedly, but then realization dawned on him. “Are you suggesting…”

Jeongguk squirmed, “You’re in a bad mood, and I completely understand that, I kind of am too, so if you don’t want to, that’s fine, but -“

“That would put me in a _great_ mood, Kookie,” Taehyung interrupted, sitting upright. His eyes flashed with a hunger that sent all of Jeongguk’s blood straight to his lower region. 

Jeongguk grinned at him and repeated the phrase Taehyung had used during their first time. “Top or bottom?”

“What?” The elder asked, confused. 

“I want to take care of you,” Jeongguk explained, praying that his shyness wouldn’t take over. He could already feel embarrassment painting his cheeks red. “So, uh, top or bottom?”

“It doesn’t matter what I want,” Taehyung responded automatically, immediately wincing at his words. A default response. 

Jeongguk puffed out an irritated breath, rolling his eyes, “Yes, it does. Democracy, remember? So answer the question.”

Taehyung hesitated, looking down. Jeongguk worried that he wasn’t going to respond, that he was going to shut down and hide deep inside himself, but then he mumbled, “Bottom.” 

That genuinely surprised Jeongguk. “Are you sure? I thought -“

“Don’t get used to it,” Taehyung said fiercely, looking into the maknae’s eyes. “I just - I want to know that you aren’t going to take advantage of me. Not like - like him.” 

Jeongguk was aware that his boyfriend knew he wouldn’t hurt him, but he could understand what he meant. Knowing was different than experiencing. The maknae felt so incredibly trusted and loved, the feelings hitting him like a freight train, that he took Taehyung’s face in his hands and kissed him. When he pulled away, he made the older boy look at him and murmured, “You have to tell me if you ever get uncomfortable or want me to stop. I don’t care how far we go, I just want you to feel safe. Can you promise me that?” Taehyung offered a meek nod, but Jeongguk shook his head, “Use your words, Tae. Tell me that you’ll communicate how you feel and that you’ll stop me if anything isn’t right.”

“I w-will,” Taehyung whispered, and he was so quiet that Jeongguk had to strain to hear him. “I promise I will.”

Satisfied, Jeongguk stood, his calves complaining from being squatted on for so long. He was slowly coming to terms what he was about to do, and he struggled to stomp down his anxiety. “Um, okay. So, uh, I guess, where should we - where should we go - you know, to, uh, do it?”

Taehyung immediately responded, “The kitchen table.”

Jeongguk’s face paled and the elder burst into a fit of almost-normal laughter. “I’m kidding, Kookie. Bedroom?”

“Y-yeah,” Jeongguk ran a shaky hand through his hair. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

The older boy fell into his normally-dominant role and led the maknae down the hall. Jeongguk snapped to his senses - he was supposed to be doing that, right? He pushed open the door to their room, wincing at its slight creak. Natural light filtered in through their closed blinds, covering everything in a heavenly glow and throwing dark stripes over the bed. 

It would seem romantic if Jeongguk wasn’t struggling to breathe. 

“What - how -“

Taehyung took Jeongguk’s hands. “You don’t have to. I would understand.”

Jeongguk’s mouth twitched into a faint smile. “I want to. So, uh, I guess -“

He led Taehyung closer to the bed and pulled off his own shirt, trying to hide how his body was shivering in equal parts anticipation and fear. Taehyung gazed at him, eyes traveling down his toned abdomen, and Jeongguk squirmed before forcing his hands to take off the elder’s shirt. He giggled when it got caught on Taehyung’s elbows. “Sorry.”

Taehyung laughed too - a small sound that betrayed his nervousness. “‘S all good.”

Jeongguk shook out his hands, letting his wrists flop, and took off Taehyung’s shirt completely. “Heh, there. All better.”

An awkward beat passed. Taehyung bit his lip. “You’re in charge, Kookie, what do you want to do?”

“Oh,” Jeongguk hesitated. So much for being a dom, he didn’t even know where to go from here. “I guess, uh, strip?”

Taehyung cracked a smile and retorted, “You first.”

Jeongguk swatted his arm, but he grinned back. The awkward spell was effectively broken and the maknae said, “Hey, I thought I was in charge!”

“Just making sure,” Taehyung shrugged and popped open the button on his jeans. Jeongguk’s breath caught in his throat as the elder dropped his pants and underwear all in one go. Taehyung wetted his lips and said softly, “Jeongguk? I’m feeling a little on my own here.”

Oh, right. Jeongguk blushed and pulled off his joggers, not quite brave enough to take everything off at once. Which was ridiculous because this was Taehyung, and Taehyung thought he was perfect. 

Jeongguk gathered his courage and walked the boy backwards until his calves hit the bed. He sat down with an _oof_ and Jeongguk dropped a hand onto his shoulder. Taehyung tugged at his boxers, but Jeongguk held up a hand. “Just - just wait a minute.”

He ran his hands through his hair and gazed down at the older boy. There was a battle between desire and fear raging in his swirling eyes, and that was what finally pushed Jeongguk to act. He pulled off his underwear and guided Taehyung to lay down, one hand on his chest and the other boxing him in on the bed. Taehyung’s breath caught, his confident exterior cracking, and Jeongguk waited. 

“Kiss me, jagiya.”

Jeongguk obeyed, bending down to brush their lips together. Taehyung slid his hands into the maknae’s dark hair and Jeongguk tilted his head to the side, deepening the kiss. 

“Jagi,” Taehyung whimpered against his mouth. 

Jeongguk hummed and sat up, trying to ignore the heat rushing between his hips. He stood, earning a pleading mewl from Taehyung, and went to the drawer where the elder kept the lube. The bottle was heavy in his hand, and he tightened his grip on it when he realized he was still shaking. He swallowed and returned to his boyfriend’s side. Taehyung was gorgeous, the light shining through the blinds casting lewd shadows over his honeyed skin, his chest rising and falling with heavy breaths. Jeongguk could stare at him forever, mapping the planes of his body and cementing them to his memory, but he and Taehyung were both getting needy. The elder reached for him, silently begging, and Jeongguk emptied some lube onto his fingers. The fluid was cool against his skin and he waited until it matched his body temperature before stepping closer. “Are you sure?” he asked one last time. 

Taehyung nodded, stiffening and squeezing his eyes shut. Jeongguk was still unsure, but he trusted that his hyung would tell him if something was wrong. With that in mind, he coaxed Taehyung’s legs apart, bending his knees and spreading his soft thighs gently. “Tae?”

“Fuck, Jeongguk, just touch me,” Taehyung whispered. 

Jeongguk obeyed, slowly pushing his index finger through Taehyung’s entrance. The boy sucked in a sharp breath and Jeongguk’s member jumped. “Are you okay?”

“Move, jagi,” Taehyung hissed. 

Jeongguk pulled his finger out and then carefully reinserted it, attempting to emulate what Taehyung had done to him before. It seemed that he was doing a good job because each slide made Taehyung whimper. The elder relaxed a bit and breathed, “More.”

Clumsily, Jeongguk added a second digit. It was harder now to push in and out of him, and Jeongguk gripped Taehyung’s knee with his free hand for leverage. The elder gasped softly, his neck craned back, and Jeongguk bent forward to kiss his throat. The move made him tilt his hand slightly, and Taehyung’s eyes suddenly popped open. “Kookie!” 

Jeongguk froze, unsure what that meant, but Taehyung shook his head, “Right there, Kook - shit, do that _again_.”

Oh. 

“More?” Jeoggguk asked, arousal making him see stars. 

“More,” Taehyung parroted, bucking his hips against Jeongguk’s hand. 

The maknae added a third finger and waited for Taehyung to signal to him that it was alright. After a few pumps, Taehyung grabbed his arm and whispered, “I want you.” 

Jeongguk gently slid his fingers out of the boy and applied lube to his member, shuddering at his own touch. He propped Taehyung’s legs around his waist, as the elder always did to him when their positions were reversed, and shuffled closer. He aligned himself and waited for Taehyung to tell him it was alright. When the elder nodded, Jeongguk took his cock in his hand and slid forward, a bolt of electricity going through his nervous system as Taehyung’s heat engulfed him. “ _Fuck_ , Tae.”

“Yeah, fuck,” Taehyung breathed, his eyes shut as tight as possible. 

Jeongguk hesitated, trying to ignore the way Taehyung’s muscles tightened and untightened around him, until the boy squirmed. He took that to mean he needed to move, and he did so at an agonizingly slow pace. Taehyung’s body was stiff and Jeongguk breathed, “Tae, baby, are you okay? Do you want to stop?”

“N-no,” the boy stuttered. “Just - just keep going. It feels - it feels good.”

After years of abuse from Raphael, Taehyung’s body wasn’t entirely sure how to respond to Jeongguk’s ministrations. The maknae was nervous and almost too gentle, and though that didn’t surprise Taehyung, it was still foreign and new. He reached up to grip Jeongguk’s shoulders, panting heavily and lifting his hips to meet the maknae’s. His member was pulsing between them and if he could just figure out how to form words, he’d ask to be touched. Raphael would have never listened - he probably would have laughed if Taehyung even suggested such a thing - but he felt like he could ask that of Jeongguk. 

“Jagi?” He mumbled, eyes still shut. The maknae’s hips stilled carefully and Taehyung whimpered, “No, please don’t stop. Please - please - would you please touch me?”

And then there was a cautious hand around him, tugging haphazardly as the thrusts resumed. Suddenly, Jeongguk shifted _just slightly_ , brushing his prostate, and waves of euphoria deluged Taehyung. He keened loudly, arching his spine off the bed, grateful that they were alone in the dorm. “Jeongguk! Fuck, fuck, right - _fuck!_ ”

The maknae whimpered as Taehyung tightened around him, sweat beading on his skin. His movements became sloppy as he worked them both to the edge, focusing on holding off his climax. And then Taehyung was grinding against him, crying his name, and something hot and slick splattered across Jeongguk’s hand and stomach. The maknae moaned loudly - loud enough to echo off the bedroom walls - and begged, “Can I - shit, can I -“

“Yes,” Taehyung hissed through gritted teeth. He was oversensitive and reeling, but he wanted Jeongguk to finish. 

A moment later with one final snap of his hips, Jeongguk fell beside Taehyung on the bed, trembling and gasping. He couldn’t form a cohesive thought but managed to breathe, “Wow.”

Taehyung laughed, and it was a hollow, blissed-out sound from deep in his chest, “Yeah.” The elder turned his head weakly, blinking. His eyes were blown black, and he heaved a shaky breath. “Thank - thank you.”

Jeongguk lifted his hand and placed it on Taehyung’s cheek. He hummed, “I love you.”

“And I you,” Taehyun sighed, letting his eyes slip shut. He stretched his hands skyward, fighting a yawn, and then let his arms fall dead-weight onto his damp tummy. He immediately lifted them, wrinkling his nose at the streaks of his release that now painted them. With a sly glance at Jeongguk, he purred, “Top cleans up.”

Oh yeah. Jeongguk blushed and kissed his boyfriend’s cheek before checking to make sure the dorm was still empty and then stumbling to the bathroom. He froze when he saw himself in the mirror. Sweat gleamed on his entire body and his hair was mussed from being tugged by Taehyung’s exploratory fingers. He smiled, wondering if the boy was even aware of trailing his hands everywhere they could reach on the maknae, as if his subconscious was memorizing every inch of him. 

With a content sigh, Jeongguk grabbed a washcloth and cleaned off his stomach, biting his lip at the mess Taehyung had made. He rinsed off the cloth and then took it back to the bedroom. Taehyung was so still that Jeongguk questioned if he was asleep, but his eyes slid open when he heard the maknae enter the room. His voice gravelly and deep, he hummed, “Jagi.”

Jeongguk handed him the cloth, watching him lazily clean himself, before taking it back and tossing it in the hamper. Taehyung sniffed when it landed perfectly inside, “Show off. Come here.”

With a grin, Jeongguk crawled into Taehyung’s arms and rested his head on his bare chest, letting his heartbeat lull him into a stupor. Taehyung’s heart was much faster than a human’s - it was the heart of a creature built for flight - and its alien music always succeeded in soothing the maknae. He had tried to time it once, but he couldn’t count fast enough (which had made the boy laugh at him). 

Without even bothering to put pants on, they fell asleep with their limbs tangled together. 

Long after the sun had set, Jimin knocked gently on the maknaes’ door, his hair still matted to his forehead and his muscles aching. There was no answer, but he knew they had to be inside, and he was in the mood to play, so he pushed the door open anyway. 

“Hey guys, want to -” he stopped, wrinkling his nose. The maknaes were asleep, naked and curled around each other. But Taehyung’s back was facing the door, and Jimin slowly registered something else that was wrong. Something far more horrifying than seeing his dongsaengs post-sex. “Taehyung? What are those?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOoooOoOOHhHhhhhHh NnOooOoOOOOo


	29. Chapter 29

“Taehyung?”

Jeongguk’s eyes snapped open, and he became aware of many things at once.

Firstly, Taehyung was staring at him, his face unreadable.

Second, there was light coming from behind the elder.

Third, they were naked, and had never bothered to pull up their blankets when they fell asleep. 

Fourth, Taehyung was facing away from the door. The door that had been left unlocked.

Fifth, Jimin was standing in the room’s entrance, his eyes pinned to Taehyung’s back.

No, not just his back. Somewhere more specific than that.

“What are those?”

Jimin’s voice cracked on the last syllable and Jeongguk eyed Taehyung, searching his blank face for something, anything, to tell him what to do. When he couldn’t find an answer, he sighed and sat up. “H-hey, hyung. Why - why don’t you come in and shut the door?”

The boy stayed rooted to the spot. He repeated, “What are those?”

“They’re scars, Jiminie-hyung,” Jeongguk said softly, glancing at Taehyung. The elder hadn’t sat up. He was a statue, hardly breathing, hardly moving. “Just - just come in here please.”

“I need - I need to go get Jin-hyung,” Jimin said, his voice far away.

Before he could get more than a step, Jeongguk shot out of bed and darted across the room, latching onto his arm. Jimin wrinkled his nose, but Jeongguk didn’t have time to care about things like modesty, so he didn’t think twice about his nudity. “That’s a bad idea, hyung,” Jeongguk said. “Trust me.”

“What - what’s going on, Jeongguk? What happened to Taehyung?” Jimin’s voice was small and scared and Jeongguk squirmed.

“I promise, I’ll explain. I just need you to do as I say,” Jeongguk said as gently as he could. “Can you please do that, hyung?”

Jimin’s eyes flicked to Taehyung, who had somehow managed to force himself up and pull on a pair of sweatpants from the floor - no doubt Jeongguk’s - and was now sitting on the edge of the bed. The maknae widened his eyes expectantly and Jimin deflated. “Okay.”

Jeongguk let go of his arm, breathing a sigh of relief. Stepping around the frozen mochi, he quietly pulled the door shut. He followed his boyfriend’s lead and found a pair of pants to pull on and then guided Jimin to sit next to Taehyung on the bed. Unsure of where to start, he wrung his hands anxiously.

Jimin reached a trembling hand toward the scars and Jeongguk grabbed his wrist, remembering what touching them did to the boy. Jimin looked up at him, eyes wide, and Taehyung ran a hand down his face. “It’s okay, jagi,” he mumbled into his palm. “Let him - let him - just be gentle, Jiminie.”

Jeongguk raised his eyebrows and slowly let go of Jimin’s wrist, giving him a pointed look that said he better listen. Jimin swallowed audibly, and Taehyung leaned forward, gripping the sheets on the bed so hard that his knuckles turned white. The mochi turned to fully face Taehyung’s back and Jeongguk pursed his lips, crouching in front of his boyfriend and taking his hands. Jimin lay a small palm on Taehyung’s back, right between the scars, and murmured, “What happened, Taetae? Who did this to you? What -”

“He had his wings ripped out,” Jeongguk snapped, cutting right to the point. Jealousy coursed through his veins at the way Taehyung shuddered under Jimin’s hand when the elder of the two moved his fingers to brush over one of the scars. “Now stop touching him.”

Taehyung squinted at him as Jimin pulled away as if electrocuted. “He’s fine, jagi, he’s just curious. You were too.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t let me _touch_ them right away,” Jeongguk grumbled. “And considering -”

“That’s enough,” Taehyung ordered, taking charge of the situation. He turned to Jimin, who was trying to formulate a proper response. Or, well, any response. “Jiminie, I can’t say much, and this jealous idiot is being very unhelpful, so please just ask whatever questions you have and I’ll answer however I can.”

Jeongguk’s nostrils flared and he dropped his eyes away from the ‘95ers, trying to quell his irritation because whether he liked it or not, Taehyung was right. 

“What - what -” Jimin opened and shut his mouth, eyes flicking between the two. “I mean, I didn’t - you guys - don’t you have a safe word?”

Taehyung blinked, glancing at Jeongguk, and then burst into uncomfortable laughter. “Jiminie, we’re not - oh my god, no. Wrong. These are not - they don’t have anything to do with sex. God, what do you think people _do_ when they bang?”

Jimin squirmed, “Then what -”

“Kookie just told you,” Taehyung sobered. “I had wings. They were ripped out. That’s the truth. What are your questions about that truth?”

The elder frowned, “I’m questioning your sanity.”

“It’s true, hyung,” Jeongguk said. “Now just ask something and one of us will answer it.”

Jimin stared at the maknae, searching his face. After living together for years and years, they could read each other well. And Jeongguk wasn’t lying. “What - what - do you mean, like, you were an angel or something?”

Jeongguk looked at Taehyung, exasperated. “Is it really that easy to guess?”

“You’ve always been a little dense,” Taehyung teased, dodging the balled-up underwear Jeongguk threw at him in response. He turned back to Jimin, who was watching this exchange with furrowed brows and parted lips. “It took Kookie weeks to figure it out.”

“I didn’t have any hints!” Jeongguk cried.

“The bird thing wasn’t enough?” Taehyung asked.

“No!”

“Guys,” Jimin said quietly. “I don’t - I don’t understand what’s happening.”

“What’s there to not understand?” Jeongguk asked, and Taehyung frowned at him.

“Be nice, Kookie, you didn’t get it at first either,” he pointed out, and Jeongguk shut his mouth with a snap.

“So, so - so like, uh -” Jimin ran a shaking hand through his hair. “You were an angel, and someone attacked you? What?”

“He - well, he and -”

“Kookie,” Taehyung warned, his voice heavy. “Go slow. One thing at a time.”

Jeongguk nodded, deflating, “Right, okay. Um, then, he broke the rules and fell.”

Jimin worked his jaw, staring between the two. “Fell as in…?”

“Fell as in, his wings were torn out of his back and he was thrown out of heaven,” Jeongguk explained, watching the elder guardedly. 

Jimin twitched, pushing his hair away from his forehead distractedly. “I swear to god, Kook, if you’re messing with me -”

“I’m not, hyung,” Jeongguk promised, moving to take his hands. He whispered, “I saw it, Jiminie-hyung.” That gave the maknae an idea and he turned to Taehyung, “Hyung, can you -”

Taehyung shook his head. “I can’t show him my memories like I showed you. He’d need to be in my dreamscape for that, and I don’t even know how you get in.”

“Wait,” Jimin said, and Taehyung winced. So much for one thing at a time. “What? Jeongguk is in your dreams? What?”

Taehyung sighed, “Yeah.”

“Two nights before we actually met Tae, I saw him in my dreams -”

“You don’t dream,” Jimin insisted. “That’s one of the things that bothers you. Whenever one of us talks about a weird one, or a nightmare, you always complain about never dreaming.”

“I never have,” Jeongguk agreed with a nod. “Until I somehow ended up in Taehyung’s dreams. Every night since, we’ve been able to meet in his dreamscape. I didn’t realize it was really him at first - I thought he was just a figment of my imagination. But then,” he smiled at Taehyung, “I found out that it was all real, and that’s basically all she wrote.”

“It most certainly is _not_ ,” Jimin said, his voice rising. “I don’t understand any of this! Angels are real? Taetae is an angel? What the hell, guys?!”

Jeongguk dropped a hand on Jimin’s shoulder, “Hyung, keep your voice down. Okay, fine, consider this then: why is Taehyung so light? You’d think he’d be super heavy what with all the muscle that comes with dancing, but he’s not.”

Jimin hesitated and Taehyung lifted his arms. “Try to pick me up and you’ll see.”

The mochi stood and obeyed, slotting his hands under Taehyung’s armpits and lifting. Taehyung practically flew into the air from the momentum and Jimin stumbled back, blinking confusedly. “I always - I mean, you’ve jumped on my back before, but I just thought that adrenaline was making me feel stronger than I was.”

“It wasn’t,” Jeongguk said unhelpfully. “He has hollow bones, like birds, and some other sciency stuff going on.” 

“Yes, as Kookie so eloquently put it, I have sciency stuff that makes my body able to fly,” Taehyung rolled his eyes. “My heart rate is much faster than yours, for example.”

Jimin looked at him questioningly and Taehyung nodded, puffing his chest out. The elder of the two rested a small hand over the offered sternum. A beat passed, and then he jerked his hand away and squeaked, “What the - I can't even blame that on anxiety, that straight up feels like a hummingbird’s heart.”

“A hummingbird’s heart?” Taehyung repeated with a patient smile. 

“You know, like, how they’re so fast that it’s just a hum?” Jimin wetted his lips nervously, “I mean, yours isn’t that fast, but what the heck? How are you not dead?”

Jeongguk ended the tangential conversation by asking, “So now do you kind of believe us?”

Jimin bobbed his head slowly, still unsure. Taehyung sighed, “Look, Jiminie, I know it doesn’t make sense. Just...you can’t tell any of the others, okay? Not right now. We were - we were planning on telling you all, but there’s a bit of a - a situation that we’re dealing with before we can do that.”

“What kind of situation?” Jimin asked.

“Try Tae’s psycho ex boyfriend who happens to be an all-powerful archangel basically stalking and harrassing us,” Jeongguk muttered, earning a glare from Taehyung. He shrugged at him, not caring how immature it was.

“What?”

“Exactly what Jeongguk said,” Taehyung responded darkly. “I was - was - I was Raphael’s -”

“I swear to god, if you mean _the_ Raphael -”

“I do,” Taehyung said.

“As in, the ancient archangel from the original seven?” Jeongguk stared at Jimin, who shrugged, “What? I like mythology.”

Taehyung laughed shakily, “Mythology? Ouch.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Sure,” he smiled. “But yes, I mean the very same.”

“Wow,” Jimin glanced at Jeongguk. “Kookie must be great in bed for you to turn that down.”

Jeongguk slapped the back of Jimin’s head, and Taehyung said, “Raphael kind of ruined it for himself when he gave the order to rip out my wings.”

“Oh,” Jimin sobered. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Taehyung said, offering a small smile. “I have Jeongguk, and you, and all of our hyungs now. I’d give up my wings for this again in a heartbeat.”

“Aww,” Jimin threw his arms around Taehyung’s shoulders, grinning his signature mochi smile. “Taetae loves us!”

Taehyung chuckled tiredly, “Yeah, Jiminie, I really do.”

Jimin pulled away, glancing between the two maknaes. The boys stared back, waiting for his final verdict. After mulling it over for a moment, he asked, “So, you’re really an angel?”

“Yeah. I mean, I was,” Taehyung nodded.

“Wow,” Jimin shook his head. “And I can’t tell the hyungs?”

“Not yet,” Jeongguk said. “We have to deal with this -”

“The situation with Taetae’s crazy ex who is also _the_ Raphael, I got it,” Jimin nodded.

Jeongguk eyed him carefully, “Are you actually okay with all of this?”

“I’m still not one-hundred percent sure I totally believe you, but I’m not sure where else those scars could have come from, and honestly, why would you lie?” Jimin smiled, but it was small and tight-lipped. “I know you, Jeongguk. I know that you’re not lying. So, I’m going to go process this over a bowl of ice cream, and I’m going to make it a huge one because this calls for drastic measures.”

Jeongguk and Taehyung stared at Jimin incredulously as he stood and robotically sauntered out of the room. Taehyung glanced at the maknae, “Should we go check on him?”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Jeongguk collapsed back on the bed, blinking up at the ceiling.

“So,” Taehyung dropped beside him, the bed dipping under his nonexistent weight. “That went well.”

Jeongguk swiveled his head to raise his eyebrows at his boyfriend. “You can’t honestly think that.”

“He believes us, doesn’t he?” Taehyung pointed out. “And he’s not going to tell the others. All in all, I think we came out of this a lot better than we could have.” 

Jeongguk sighed, relenting, “I guess so.” Then, he stood and stretched, “Should we go make an appearance?”

“Let me get a shirt,” Taehyung said, sitting up again with a groan.

A few minutes later, the maknaes emerged from their bedroom. They passed through the kitchen to find Jimin sitting at the table with an entire tub of Baskin Robbins and the biggest spoon they owned. Jeongguk raised his eyebrows, but Jimin stuck his tongue out, “I deserve this right now, Kookie.”

Jeongguk flipped his palms up in surrender, “I’m not going to deny that. Where’s everyone else?”

Jimin nodded towards the living room. “They’re picking out a movie to watch. I was actually getting ready to join them after I breathed a bit.”

Taehyung threw an arm around Jimin’s shoulders and nuzzled his hair. “Thank you, Jiminie. I might just start calling you ‘hyung’ now.”

Jimin’s eyes lit up, “Really?”

“I might,” Taehyung repeated, letting go of the mochi. “But then again, I might not.”

Jimin huffed and a giggle slipped between Jeongguk’s lips. “Why is that such a big deal to you, hyung?”

“Because I’m older!” Jimin cried.

“Only in international age,” Taehyung grinned.

“Still!”

“Guys!” Namjoon suddenly shouted from the living room. All of the maknaes stilled and the leader continued, “Shush and get out here! Yoongi-hyung picked the movie tonight, so it’ll be good!”

Jeongguk turned to Jimin and offered his hand. “Are you ready, hyung?”

Jimin nodded, “Just...I want you guys to know that even though I don’t fully understand everything, I’m here for you both no matter what.”

Taehyung ruffled the elder’s hair. “Thanks for that, _hyung_.”

Jeongguk found himself grinning despite himself as Jimin pumped his fist victoriously in the air.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MAKE SURE TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS SERIES TO STAY UPDATED!!!!
> 
> Here we are at the last chapter of Distract Me. Don't worry, though, the next book is already almost ready to start posting, so you won't have to wait long!

Taehyung pulled Jeongguk to his chest, both too rejuvenated from their nap earlier to sleep. “Do you mind asking your question while we’re awake, jagiya? I don’t know if we’re going to get much sleep tonight.”

Jeongguk nodded and pursed his lips, trying to remember. “Oh yeah! What’s the difference between glamour and shapeshifting?”

The elder chuckled, turning his head to stare up at the ceiling. Their legs were tangled together under the blankets, and the excitement (and terror) from earlier had passed, leaving a gentle calm that caressed the energetic boys. “Ready for a very technical lesson?”

Jeongguk nodded, grinning excitedly, “Yes.”

“Well,” Taehyung stole a chaste kiss and giggled when Jeongguk gasped, “shapeshifting is when you change your actual molecular structure. Like, you might still have the mind of a human - er, angel - but your body itself is whatever you’ve shifted into. It’s incredibly hard to shapeshift into anything specific, like a specific person or a specific dog, but you can shoot for generals. Like, if I wanted to look exactly like my one ward’s pet turtle, I couldn’t nail the exact details, but I could transform into a generic turtle. Does that make sense?”

The maknae nodded against Taehyung’s chest, “Yeah, I think so.”

Taehyung wetted his lips, “Now, glamour is something different. That’s like...that’s like putting on a disguise. Like makeup, or clothes. It’s an actual layer of magic that goes over your body, or whatever you’re putting it on. That’s another thing - I couldn’t shapeshift an apple into an orange, or anything like that, I can only shapeshift my own body, but I could make an apple _look_ like an orange with glamour. Get it?”

“Yeah.”

“Glamour is basically makeup,” Taehyung sighed. “Cosmic makeup.”

Jeongguk snuggled into Taehyung’s side, burrowing under the blankets. “Your voice is soothing, hyung.”

“Ya, are you even listening? I’m answering your question!”

“Shush,” Jeongguk giggled. “I promise I am. Glamour is makeup, shapeshifting is science. See? I don’t even need to take notes.”

Taehyung huffed, but was satisfied. “Are you getting sleepy, jagiya?”

“A little,” Jeongguk admitted. “You?”

“Not really,” Taehyung sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “Want to play a game?”

“What game?” Jeongguk asked, hardly paying attention.

“Hmm,” Taehyung paused. “Truth or dare?”

Jeongguk rolled his eyes, “Really? What are we, twelve?”

Taehyung swatted his thigh, “Do you have a better idea?”

“How about we just cuddle?” Jeongguk offered.

The elder blew out a disgruntled breath, “But that’s boring.” Jeongguk punched his shoulder weakly and he laughed, “I didn’t mean that the way it came out. I just mean that I’m still super hyper, and I don’t want to go to sleep yet.”

“Then go play,” Jeongguk sighed, his eyes fluttering shut. “I bet someone is still awake.”

“But I want to play with you,” Taehyung huffed.

Jeongguk raised an eyebrow, “And I want to cuddle with you. Either way, one of us isn’t going to get what they want.”

Taehyung sighed dramatically, but settled in next to the maknae. “Fine, Kookie, be boring.”

“That’s me,” Jeongguk grinned sleepily. 

Like the three-year-old he claimed to be mentally, despite his claim that he wasn’t tired, Taehyung slowly fell asleep. Jeongguk followed soon after, a small smile playing on his lips. 

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

The dream was black. Nothing but black. There was no tug, no sound, nothing. Jeongguk gripped his head, the palpable silence threatening to strangle him. 

Where was Taehyung?

_Taehyung?_

Jeongguk circled around, searching desperately. 

_Tae?_

Madness overtook him and he screamed. 

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

Jeongguk woke up to an alien glow. He blinked, focusing, and his heart threatened to come out of his chest. Raphael grinned wickedly down at him, “ _I win._ ”

Without thinking, Jeongguk swung. The archangel straightened, avoiding the blow, and Jeongguk threw himself out of bed, adrenaline pumping in his veins. Raphael sighed, shaking his head disappointedly. “ _You really don’t know when to quit, do you, little one? Taehyung’s mine now._ ”

Jeongguk froze and looked around wildly, searching for his boyfriend. “What did you do to him?”

“ _He’s awaiting trial,_ ” Raphael giggled sadistically. “ _Do you know what that means?_ ”

“On what grounds?!” Jeongguk demanded. “He didn’t break any rules!”

“ _Ah, but he did, little one,_ ” Raphael broke into a laugh, keeling over in his mirth. He straightened after a moment, wiping at his eyes and mimicking, “ _’You’re really an angel?’ And do you know what your stupid little fallen lover said?_ ” Jeongguk’s blood ran cold in his veins. “ _He said yes! So now,_ ” Raphael bent close to the maknae’s face, but Jeongguk was too busy trying to remember how to breathe to care. “ _Now, he’s mine._ ”

“No,” Jeongguk breathed.

“ _Oh, yes!_ ” Raphael’s eyes flashed with glee. “ _He’s going to hell, and you’re going to rot here on Earth. I told you this would happen, little one, but you refused to listen._ ”

“Please,” Jeongguk stammered, gagging on his panic, “please, just let me talk to him!”

“ _Too late, little one,_ ” Raphael patted his head and Jeongguk gritted his teeth at the burn. “ _There’s nothing you can do._ ”

“Let me be a witness!” Jeongguk suddenly cried, not really understanding what he was saying.

Neither did Raphael, apparently. “ _What?_ ”

“Well, sure!” Jeongguk said, more than a little manic. “You said he’s awaiting trial, right? Don’t you need witnesses?”

Raphael frowned, “ _We have no need for -_ ”

“Unless you think you’ll lose,” Jeongguk challenged.

The archangel wrinkled his nose. “ _I will speak with the others. You will be taken into custody, and it will certainly hurt, but just remember, little one, you asked for it._ ”

“Wait!” Jeongguk shouted, but the archangel was gone. The air crackled where he once stood and the maknae sunk to his knees, his entire body convulsing. He hugged himself, staring at the floor. He’d never felt so helpless in his life. 

Taehyung had been taken into custody. He was going to have to kneel before however many archangels and hear Raphael twist the case against him, just like he had done before. Jeongguk choked on a sob. 

Before he could give in to his waves of despair, a flash of bright light momentarily blinded him. When his vision returned, Raphael was standing before him, flanked by two other angels. The archangel crouched before the maknae and hissed, “ _You’ve made your life significantly harder, little one. I hope it’s worth it._ ”

Jeongguk offered a gritted smile as the angels jerked him to his feet, their hands actually sizzling when they landed on his bare skin. “It will be.”

And then one of the angels gripped the crown of his head and he wailed in agony before finally collapsing, blacking out before he even hit the floor. 

_To be continued in Save Me, Book 2 of the Dream of Me series. Go to the next chapter for a teaser._


	31. Save Me - Teaser

His dreamscape was as dark as the room he was trapped in.

“About time!” Eden’s voice said, startling Jeongguk.

He turned and blinked. A small girl with short, spiky black hair and hard-set features stood in front of him. “Who -”

“Eden,” she said, though Jeongguk already kind of knew that.

“Hi,” he said, not entirely sure how to respond.

“Hi,” she said back before starting forward. “Okay, listen to me, we don’t have much time. Look, this ‘trial’ is rigged against you guys. Raphael wants Tae to burn, and the archangels are going to listen to him.”

Jeongguk frowned, “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because even though Tae’s an idiot, I still love him, and I don’t want him to go to hell.” She smiled humorlessly, “And I don’t think you do either.”

“I don’t. That’s why I’m here.” Jeongguk wetted his lips, “When can I see him?”

“ _They_ won’t let you until the trial,” she sighed, shaking her head. “He doesn’t even know you’re here. I think Raphael is planning on him tripping up when he sees you. Maybe thinks he’ll say something incriminating.”

Jeongguk widened his eyes. “What?! That’s not fair!”

“Never said it was,” Eden mused. “So I need your help.”

“What do I need to do?” Jeongguk asked immediately.

Eden gave him a gritted smile. “I need you to talk to him so that he can’t be surprised that you’re here, but it’s dangerous. Purgatory is not a place for magic. It could hurt you, I need you to know that.”

“I don’t care,” Jeongguk snapped truthfully. “Take me to him.”

Eden nodded, her hair falling into her eyes. She circled around Jeongguk, and the maknae knew what she was doing, so he stayed as still as possible. “You can’t move much.”

“I know,” Jeongguk whispered.

“I’ll be able to hear whatever you say, just not him,” Eden added.

“Okay.”

“And he won’t be able to see you. It’ll be like when I talked to you.”

“Just fucking do it already,” Jeongguk snapped.

Eden obeyed without responding, lacing her fingers together over Jeongguk’s eyes, and pain lanced through his skull. He forced himself to stay upright, the prospect of seeing his hyung making him strong.

Taehyung was sitting against the wall of a cell similar to Jeongguk’s, and the maknae gasped. His eyes were fixed to the floor, shoulders hunched in defeat.

“Tae,” Jeongguk breathed.

The boy’s head snapped up, his eyes searching madly. “Jeo-Jeongguk?”

“It’s me, Tae,” Jeongguk whispered, his voice cracking. It was so, so good to see him.

“How -” Taehyung started, and then sighed. “Eden.”

“Yeah,” Jeongguk said.

“What are you doing here?” Taehyung asked.

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean, why are you _here_?” Taehyung said, his voice rising as he shakily lifted himself to his feet. “You shouldn’t be here, you should be home with the hyungs, getting over me.”

Jeongguk bristled, “I’m here to -”

“Go home, Jeongguk,” Taehyung said darkly.

The maknae shuddered. He hadn’t had time to prepare for this conversation, but Taehyung’s reaction was heartbreaking. “I won’t.”

Taehyung snarled, “I’m not fucking around, Jeongguk. _I don’t want you here_.”

Jeongguk’s lip quivered, but he steeled himself and pressed, “I’m here, Tae, and I’m staying. We’re in this together, remember?”

“Not this,” Taehyung said, leaning back against the wall. “Never this. This is my own fault, and I’ve hurt you enough.”

Jeongguk forgot that he wasn’t supposed to move and shook his head. “I love you, Taehyung. I want to help you.”

Taehyung squeezed his eyes shut. “Well, I don’t.”

Jeongguk froze, “What?”

“Y-yeah,” Taehyung said. “I don’t - don’t - don’t love you. I was just - it was all - fuck, I can’t.” He deflated, “Just please, jagi, please go home. I can’t do this knowing you’re here because of me.”

“I’m here because I challenged Raphael,” Jeongguk said breathily. 

Taehyung hesitated, “You what?”

“I asked to come, and when he was about to say no, I said that he thinks he’d lose.”

Taehyung worked his jaw before falling into the blank expression that Jeongguk adored so much. Finally, he managed to say, “Jeongguk, he could have killed you. I’m surprised he didn’t.”

Jeongguk shrugged, forgetting the boy couldn’t see it. “Let me stay, hyung. Let me help you.”

“I can’t,” Taehyung slid to sit back down, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I should be going through this alone. They want me to burn in hell, I know that. They’re not going to listen to anything we say, so why are you here?”

Jeongguk wetted his lips. “I have to try, hyung.”

Eden bumped her palm against Jeongguk’s temple, signaling that their time was almost up. He said quickly, “Taehyung, I have to go. I’m not leaving until I can take you with me, but don’t worry about me. Worry about yourself. I’ll see you at the trial. I love you so much, hyung, okay?”

“I love -”

Eden’s hands disappeared from over Jeongguk’s eyes and he blinked before turning to her. “T-thank you.”

The girl dropped her gaze. “I have to go now. I’m going to leave some of my magic here in your subconscious, so you should be able to visit Taehyung if you wish so long as you both are sleeping.”

Relief washed over Jeongguk, “Thank you.”

“No problem,” Eden sighed, turning. “I’ll return as soon as I can. I want to teach you some things. Goodbye, Jeongguk, and don’t worry just yet.”


	32. SAVE ME Out Now

Hi guys, I was looking at the comments, kudos, and bookmarks on Save Me and realized that lots of people who enjoyed Distract Me either aren’t reading it or aren’t leaving anything for me to track. That could be for a number of reasons, but I wanted to make sure that you all at least knew that Save Me is out. Here’s the link to it:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14198067


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